to wonder how people with 2 under 2s cope?

[ishopthereforeiam]

Generally I have a very good life which I love but for the odd day (maybe one day a month) I absolutely hate it!

I have a 21mo and a 3mo and love them to bits but on days like this where they are both being difficult plus being exhausted myself I wonder how others cope and wonder if I am actually cut out to be a mum at all!?

So far 3mo didn't want to sleep this am so gets overtired followed by meltdown while his sister simultaneously finds it hilarious to put in requests for food and drink and not have them, take the rubbish out the bin and play with it (when she knows not to), switch the dishwasher etc on and generally touch everything so I feel like I spend all day saying "don't touch this, don't do that"... saving grace is that the naughty step seemed to work.

Tips?

Wow, what an eye opening thread!

My DS is 9 months and I have a nearly 5 year old dd. mc's were the cause of the big age gap between them and even though they do play together now, I always felt guilty for not being able to give dd a sister/brother earlier.

DH and I want to try for our last baby soon, so there'll be at least a 20 month gap between DS and newborn.

I'm glad a lot of you are saying it gets easier! I think I'll be sleeping a lot during the day when dd is at school.

Get Charlie and Lola on or Kipper The dog.....
the truth is that everyone finds it hard some days with little ones and it does not mean you are a bad mum.

I have 22 months btw DD1 and DD2
2.5 years btw DD2 and DD3

Right now they are 4, 2.8 and 3 months.

Like shagmund, I really love it.

I found one baby stressful and tedious, but I thrive on the intensity of having a baby and a toddler (and a school-aged child this time).

I totally agree about getting out every day - I go to toddler group most days.

Also getting involved with stuff - volunteer at toddler group, PTA (I'm a but if a joiner). Being busy is fun.

Our home is a children's house - toys everywhere, DD1's "art" on the walls, which I know some object to, but it makes life easier.

Also I went back to work when DD1 was 3.5 months, DD2 was 7 months. I'm not sure how long I'll stay off this time.

If you are miserable and bored and lonely (and I was first time), returning to work is worth considering.

Mine are all good sleepers though, so I've never been doing this while massively sleep deprived. That really, really helps.

I had two with an age gap similar to you, and then had another one, before the ds1 was 3! It does get easier, I promise. My eldest is 6 now and sits and reads. The boys are best friends and play all day together really nicely, jig saws, or trains, or whatever. It's lovely to watch then they all fight
My advice. Be organised, and have things planned. Get out as often as possible, go to baby groups or play centres or the park. It's much easier not to be stuck in the house all day amd the kids can blow off steam.
Good luck!

At the moment I know someone with 4 under 2yrs!!!

It does get better and I second the advice on getting out every day.

I had three under three then four under five.

Now eldest is 5 youngest is ten months.

My top advice would be to get a good bedtime routine as you need some time in the evening to stay sane!

I had six under seven and did find it tough a lot of the time, but fine when the routine was in place (no-one ill for example, or no moving house (we were in the army)). Key to things being good were getting out every day and CBeebies and uncomplicated food, in that order.

I have a very regimented life with DCs (DC1 2yo, DC2 6mo).
Playgroup in the morning, lunch at home, nap for DC1 and sometimes DC2 too, go out to the park, tea, bath, bed. At 7pm, they are both in bed, and I can then do stuff for myself.
Luckily, I have a break twice a week when DC1 goes to nursery for the day.
What I find most gruelling is the fact that everyday I do the same thing (apart from the 2 days when DC1 is at nursery). The predictability of my days, I find very depressing.

the day to day stuff I find OK, it's the fact it harder to get breaks and it feel relentless I think is the draining bit.

I love MN - I feel soooo much better having read these posts(tips and shared experiences)!

Well, parents were great in that they helped out trying to get little man to sleep and entertaining little miss cheeky too (and I had an afternoon nap today which was a total bonus)! Downside - it messed up the loose routine we were in and he refused to sleep in his moses basket at all when usually he's ok at night (even if he wakes up lots)...

So some of the advice I will def be taking are:

Get out the house as much as pos (at least once a day) even if just for a walk around the block!

Try to get them both dressed and fed at the same time and most importantly napping at the same time!

Stick with the bedtime routine.

Drink plenty of / gin at the end of the day or any time post 11am !

Give up caring that there is food / crayons/ general junk all over the floor!

Try and hide the bins(!) at least dd has stopped putting her hand in the toilet since I shouted at her it was disgusting, a word she now loves .

Time. And tbh, when they were 4mo and 23mo wasn't all that difficult.

Now if you were talking about when they were 2yo and 3.5yo, on the other hand...well, that year was hell on earth.

Now, a few years down the line, they are 9yo and 10.5yo, and are best buddies, having computer game tournaments etc.

It got easier overnight the minute the older one started Reception, and when the younger one followed suit two years later (19 months apart in age, but birthdays mean one is Y4, one is Y6), it turned easier still.

I think the hardest part of having two so close together is when you have two toddlers or a toddler and a pre-schooler. Everything after that seems easy!

Two years apart is the natural age gap, surely? Not a case of 'so close together' CouthyMow? I don't see anything remarkable at all about a 19 month age gap, not in the least. An engineer I met when I was living in CA whose two DDs were 6 months apart - yes, that was special.

I had 19month gap

Be nice to yourself, get out of the house everyday without fail, do a couple of groups a week in the mornkng so they sleep well after lumch

Take it one day at a time

Remember "this too will pass"

Mine are all at school now and i forget how streasful some days were!

Not natural for me!!

I much prefer the 4 year gap between my first and second DC to the 19 month gap between my second and third DC. And the 7 year gap between my third DC and my fourth DC is too much...

For ME personally, 19 months was not enough of a gap, 7 years was too much.

For me, the best age gap would have been 3.5-5 years gap.

The one I found 'special' was my friend who had two sets of twins within 8 months... .

She is fine now, they all went to school at once, and are ALL in Y10 now. 4x the exam stress...