to wonder how people with 2 under 2s cope?

[ishopthereforeiam]

Generally I have a very good life which I love but for the odd day (maybe one day a month) I absolutely hate it!

I have a 21mo and a 3mo and love them to bits but on days like this where they are both being difficult plus being exhausted myself I wonder how others cope and wonder if I am actually cut out to be a mum at all!?

So far 3mo didn't want to sleep this am so gets overtired followed by meltdown while his sister simultaneously finds it hilarious to put in requests for food and drink and not have them, take the rubbish out the bin and play with it (when she knows not to), switch the dishwasher etc on and generally touch everything so I feel like I spend all day saying "don't touch this, don't do that"... saving grace is that the naughty step seemed to work.

Tips?

Yes get out every day otherwise you would go mad.My first 2 there was a year between them up and out every day.Then i had a 12 year gap and had another 3 quite quick.So i had a 3 year old and 18 month old and a newborn.
But on the upside they go to school together yaay.There is light at the of the tunnel.I find my 2 teenagers worse than the younger kids now haha.

Our bin lives on top of the tumble dryer now because of bin rummaging. And food is only provided at meal and snack times and only when toddler is on his bottom. No time to endlessly hoover up crumbs from roaming, and hate wasted food so don't cater to requests. I had to sit out some tantrums over it though.

Oh I wrote a lovely long reply then lost it .

Basically, I looked forward to the milestones the baby reached - getting into a routine, sleeping through, crawling/weaning, walking, getting off formula.

There was lots of walking to wear out the 18mth old, lots of stories (DD1 wasn't into watching tv back then), not too many baths, simple easy to cook food, not a lot of housework, lots of groups.

It was really hard and there were days that the toddler would empty bins, rip books, cover herself in bum cream etc but these were a lot less frequent the more we got out and about.

Now they are 3 and 20mths life is much easier, but we all still have bad days. I wouldn't change it for the world though and if we had been tempted to go for no. 3 it would have been with an even smaller gap (17.5 between the first two).

Also, there is something really nice when the rest of your friends have round 2, you get to cuddle a baby but hand them back!

Oh and yy to bins being up on window sills or cupboards, and toilet brushes and toilet rolls, and bum cream. And a gate on their bedroom door, and on the kitchen door, and on the stairs... I was blessed with a climber though who soon scaled them.

Oh I feel for you, I have a special needs 3 year old and a 6 month old too so not quite 2 under 2 but a lot of the same challenges (both in nappies, neither ears independently).

Get out of the house. Go to places they can roam without fear eg children's centers or fenced in parks. Make the big one run with silly games like "sat nav says". Make the newborn fit in.

Any day ending in 2 children who have been fed, are still wearing clothes, and have not been strangled is a victory! Wine o'clock helps on bad days but if used every day will not help you sleep properly. Keep in mind that you have 4 years until both are at school and only 20 or so till they move out. It does get easier, 6 months in and I'm just about finding my feet.

I'm not sure I did. I remember DD being born and her 1st birthday but not a great deal of what happened in the middle. However, as others have said, having lost a year in oblivion it was much easier after that.

I had 3 under 15 months -it was hell.

My tips are wine,walking,other mums in the same boat and the knowledge that further on down the line you will see the benefits.

Oh and stair gates-everywhere!!!!

Make a room upstairs and downstairs completely kidproof and safe.

ears = eats by the way - oops

I had 17 month ds and newborn twins! We managed, lots of friends and a timetable helped!

I only JUST squeaked into this category, as have 22 months between dc2 and dc3.

Honestly though - best time in my life! Loved it. Remember walking around feeling like a fertile goddess, with small people hanging off me.

But that's because dc2 was a very, very easy toddler.

I survived by basically being very shit and setting low standards.

My favourite activity was lying on the sofa and letting my children crawl all over me.

My just turned three year old still loathes my twenty month old. She's an odd little sprout though, and doesn't like other children at all. I never found the age gap a problem tbh, and I was glad I had them close enough together that I hadn't gotten out of the habit of early mornings and nappy washes etc etc.

I had 2ds's 13.5 months apart, and I honestly, honestly felt that jail time would be easier. I didn't think this every day, but the thought crossed my mind fairly often.

It gets much easier and now mine are 3 and 4, life is much more manageable, but can still be a little ground hog day'ish.

Obviously there are and always were lovely times too.

At any rate what helps is:

Getting up, showered and dressed early in the day.
Keeping on top of washing.
Getting out of the house when possible.
Have a militant bed time routine and stick to it.
Go to bed early yourself.
Make sure you get a few hours off or a sleep in once a week.

Routine, routine, routine, get the children to eat and sleep at the same time every day if possible. Mine slept from 12 -2 most days up until about 6 months ago.

Oh God, yes, you have to get out of the house every day. Preferably to somewhere where there are other (nice) mums, coffee, biscuits and things/friends for your older DC to play with while you feed the baby or drink your coffee. But if that's not a possibility, then fire up the double buggy, put your wellies on and just go somewhere, anywhere. It was the only thing that kept me sane some days.

My two are 7 and 8 now and I miss those baby days. I think I am looking back with rose coloured specs though!

invest in a stair gate for kitchen door.
do not offer food other than at meal times.
chill out,remember its only hell for a short time.

thats advice from a mum of triplets and twins born 11 months apart.

a mum of triplets and twins born 11 months apart

ohhhhh god no defo not mum of the year or even the week, i spend a great deal of time hiding at work or in the wardrobe pretending im 15 and have no responsabilities.

but chuck all the gin you can my way

18 months between two of mine.

I used to go to the park every morning. Every morning. Wrap them all up if it was wet.

My eldest was at nursery in the afternoon, and once we'd dropped him off the little ones would be asleep in the car, I'd take them out, put them to bed and get my housework done before going back for him.

I am taking notes. In less than three weeks time I'll have two 18 months apart and quite frankly, I am terrified...

5 in 11 months! Wow, how old are they now pixie

I had dc2 and dc3 10 months apart I'm not gonna lie at times it was rough. Organisation is the key. That and trying to stick to a routine.
With small gaps they can amuse each other. And it definitely gets easier as they get older. So much so I've now got 6 under 10

oh my god Pixie! Seriously, OH. MY. GOD.

Can i ask a personal question? When you say 11 months apart, do you really mean you fell pregnant 2 months after one set were born? Were you ttc? I have one ds who is 5 weeks today and i cannot imagine ever wanting to have sex again let alone being able to find the time to!

I am interested in this thread because DP and i are planning on ttc (i'm hoping for an immaculate conception) early next year. I was musing the other day on how it was even possible. DS wants to lay on me and feed all day - how do you do that with a toddler? How can you cluster feed? get skin on skin etc?

I have 21 months between my children, now they are 3 and 17mo it's much easier as they play together.

The first year was quite tough, but as I expected it to be sheer hell it was better than I anticipated iykwim?
I found getting out and about difficult as I don't drive and by the time I had everyone fed, dressed and ready to go out in the double buggy....it was bloody lunchtime.
If you can get out and about I would think it would be better, it does get heaps easier as they get older.

I've found this thread both very scary and very useful for making me feel normal. Scared because I will be going back to the 2 under 2 stage in January and reassuring because I've beaten myself up for 8 years feeling guilty about hating my older boys first 2 years and feeling line the worlds worst mother for not being able to remember most of it as I was living in a fog of exhaustion.