to wonder how people with 2 under 2s cope?

[ishopthereforeiam]

Generally I have a very good life which I love but for the odd day (maybe one day a month) I absolutely hate it!

I have a 21mo and a 3mo and love them to bits but on days like this where they are both being difficult plus being exhausted myself I wonder how others cope and wonder if I am actually cut out to be a mum at all!?

So far 3mo didn't want to sleep this am so gets overtired followed by meltdown while his sister simultaneously finds it hilarious to put in requests for food and drink and not have them, take the rubbish out the bin and play with it (when she knows not to), switch the dishwasher etc on and generally touch everything so I feel like I spend all day saying "don't touch this, don't do that"... saving grace is that the naughty step seemed to work.

Tips?

I have an 8 month old and 2.3 - it's really not that bad - in fact I'd go as far as to say it was a doddle and if I could've conceived number two earlier, I'd have done so.

The phrases most commonly used in this house are:
"How many times have I told you already today? Don't stand on your brother's fingers".
"Don't sit on your brother's head"
"Don't ride your brother like a pony"

2 under 2 was easy....have had the day from hell with a 5 year old and nearly 4 year old and one of them was at school all day

my mum had 5 under 5 and the youngest two were twins.

SHE solved the problem by palming off 1 and 2 to her mother as often as possible, sending no 3 to live with grand parents, ignoring child 4 to the point of neglect and lavished all her love and attention to no 5.

Not a parenting plan i would recommend any sane person follow

I had 18 months apart.At the time I didn't let myself admit to it being hard (if I admitted to it,it was,sort of theory...)
Looking back on it though,it isn't easy.
It does get easier,it really does.

spuddy god no not ttc im not insane back then i was part of the 'cant get pregnant if your breast feeding brigade' and every hcp i came into contact with said things like bf triplets not a chance you will ovulate.

but we were delighted as we figured that was our family done, and after 3 in one hit 2 babies are childs play and i was lucky enough to have older fairly independant kids who delighted in helping with bath times ect.

the sex thing was very hit and miss every pregnancy ive had ive been very poorly in and out of hospital from about 8 weeks in so in the whole 17/18 months we only had sex about 6 times (and 4 of those happened in the garden shed whilst family came round to look after babies and clean so we could get a break opps) hence the speedy resumption of that side of life.

no way could i do it nowadays ive got a 7month old and am knackered all the time but im a lot older and dont get much sleep as the 'middles' all have asd and im now a single parent but i do have a lot of family support and carers so its not as bad as it sounds.

Mine are now 6 and 7, they are 54 weeks apart. It was hard, but I coped by going out a lot. I went to all the toddler groups going, I went to parks and friends and generally tried not to be at home with them on my own. I still try that now during the holidays as all they want to do is fight.

moomin all teenagers now twins recently turned 13.

it does get a little better after the youngest turns one. I have 4dds with 19, 20 and 22 month age gap. I agree with the getting out every day suggestions. I rarely stay in all day, messes with the house and my sanity! I only have my last two at home now (2.5 and 8 months), it is still crazy. But don't wish it away too much and try to remember all the small things. I find that I forget so much about dd1 and dd2 (5 and 4 yrs old now). Plenty of organisational tips on good housekeeping and larger family threads, eg., batch cooking etc to help things run a little smoother. My nicest moments now are when I am out and about with all four and old ladies come up to me and reminisce about how it was when they had little ones. That'll be me one day fondly recalling how lovely it was when they were young. Forgetting the hard bits....

Hi OP
I found it very hard, I have to say. I felt utterly exhausted and miserable much of the time at first. My top tips:

• as others have said, get out every day. A good walk with the double buggy was best for me; the fresh air and exercise made me feel better. Especially if I thought to myself ' I am fertile and my DH fancies me' at the same time!
• the newborn learned to sleep in the back seat of the tandem pretty quickly. She slept in it for all her daytime naps, I rocked it in my hallway when it rained til she fell asleep.
• cbeebies was invaluable for the toddler while feeding the newborn. (otherwise he rampaged, took his nappy off, hit me etc..)
• do take lots of photos of both of them. I wish I had more, I can remember barely anything of the first year, (probably due to sleep deprivation), and so wish I had more to remind me of my older child's developmental milestones that year.

All the best! It will get better, mine are 4 and 3 now and very fond of each other.

pixie I think the thought of lots of teens scares me more than lots of babies!

I have 8 years between each of the first three so have no clue what it's like to have them close togeather, yet

YANBU!

Tips - spend less time saying no and more time telling your DD what to do. If she wants to play with rubbish then hide it or let her if she wants to turn the dishwasher on, does it matter? (Mine can't be turned on without a tablet or try switching it off at the mains). She's a bit young to listen properly and wont hear the "dont" in your request.

Also try and get your youngest napping in the pushchair for some of the day to avoid overtiredness. or use a sling.

I luckily missed the two under 2 and have two under 3. It got easier past 6 months...

moomin as long as you have anything to hide behind or in (i personally recamend a wardrobe) plenty of cheese and never run out of bread and under no circumstances let your gril break down teenagers are not to frightoning

I have 13 months between mine, they are now 4 and 5 and play really well together and it means they always have a "friend" to play with.

When they were little I just had to relax and let it flow really, we drifted into a routine, spent afternoons at the park no matter the weather and things like bathing them together saved a lot of time.

Also, pick your battles. DS was not to be rushed on potty training no matter how much the HV or granny tried to push! I just waited til DD was ready and trained them both together.

I just tried to chill and enjoy it, someways that was really hard but the other days were heaps of fun!

I found being pregnant and already having a baby was horrendous so once DD arrived it seemed easier

. Lots of . And to think I used to be teetotal!

Thanks prizewinningpig
That story just brought a tear to my (v hormonal) eye! I shall cling onto that thought!

This will be me within the next 3 weeks. DD is 20 months, DC2 is due in a week. We moved house to a new city 2 months ago so I know no-one around here and have been desperately throwing myself into playgroups. Hoping that when I turn up with DD and a newborn, DD will feel comfortable enough to rampage whilst I feed DC2.

Must admit I'm dreading it slightly, DH is so excited, and he's worried that I'm really not. I'm just hoping when the time comes that it's all just going to come naturally and we can really settle here.

I don't sound enthusiastic do I? I really do want DC2, I'm just nervous of how hard the first 6 months is going to be.

ipswich

we went out every morning to a playgroup and most late afternoons (4-4:30 for as long as possible) for a walk (DS in a sling, DD walking/with scooter/child buggy). Good thing about winter is that it takes you about half an hour just to get everyone ready which passes the time. Knowing for the walks there is no rush to leave means you don't stress about this.

I found the first bit OK, but when it became obvious DS wasn't going to be a sleeper either it starting getting wearing. Like you I moved (just before he was born) so didn't know anyone. Family is two hours away. Although the playgroups were nice and children easier, they were mostly full of childminders and making friends (especially when you have two to look after means little time to stay still) even harder.

At nine months we used savings to put them into nursery two afternoons a week and now DS is a year I'd say I've only just got back to a good mental state. Part of that was complicated by me struggling with the concept of not having a job or not being sure what I want to do (Still don't).

They are now in nursery one afternoon a week and I may stop that soon as well. Likes others said priority is always getting out even if I smell and have unbrushed hair chucked up in a hairband. Also letting go of getting any housework done. Yes some people have children that can be put down, but not me. Once you hit the 6 month mark I started wondering if I should be more of top of things now, but you can't compare a non-sleeping, clingy baby to a sleeping content one.

oh there is a 19 month gap.

oh and they play together wonderfully and enjoy chasing (crawling) around after each other even if DD likes to sit on DS now he is moving

My tips are timing a lunchtime nap together for my sanity and sticker books are my new best friend.
She will happily sit and stick whilst I feed or when he's asleep. It's quiet time for when he's napping but also it's time for me and dd to spend together just us two. We sit and do activities in this time and stickers are quiet!! Oh and I also got rid of all the extra noisy toys when he was born such as loud musical instruments or noisy cars on our wooden floors! He sleeps through a lot but he's not amazing!
I have a 17 month gap and I found a routine was helpful and my sling for the newborn days for dinner bath etc. he was colic and reflux so it helped with that. HTH

I also give him his naps in his pushchair once he got too old for his Moses basket. I found it hard to keep up and down the stairs to the cot as I didn't always know what she was up to or how long he would take to settle. The plus side is he will now sleep anywhere in his pushchair. I push him in the hallway till he's asleep and leave him in the kitchen when he is.
We did have to buy a single comfortable buggy though for him des

Oops sent too soon! Despite having a double so we now have a double and 2 singles. More expense but v handy especially when I need to give one away to their grandparents for the day as no one wants them both together :-(

I had four under four and a half. Gaps of 14 months between first two, 19months between no. 2 and no. 3 and 20 months between no. 3 and no. 4.

The trick is to organise as much as you can for the next day - while the children are in bed. Also, accept that your house will probably not be a bit untidy for quite some time. Like others have said, get out every day. Get your older child to get involved with caring for the little one - fetching nappies etc. (even though the older one is often still in nappies they usually like to feel "big"!)

Try your best to get them into a good sleep routine so that you can have some you time in the evening. Mine slept from seven until seven - obviously not in the first few weeks of their lives! But I did get them into a routine by the time they were maybe three/four months old.

It really does get much easier as they get older - honestly!

Shouldn't have read this!

Am currently TTC #2 and DS is 7m .... shagmund I was pleased to read your post!

15 months between mine. Used to go out everyday to some group or even just the supermarket (!) with baby mostly in sling whilst eldest DC played. Let youngest sleep in car/buggy on way home or just under the baby gym - never bothered putting either of them down 'properly' during the day.

Start a good sleep routine and strict bedtime at night and stick to it (within an hour eachway) regardless of whats going on or where you are staying

Best advice I ever had was to "treat them like twins" change at the same time, feed, bathe, bedtime etc together - no point sorting one out then having to do it all again 20 mins later.

It gets easier - especially once the young one is mibile and the older wants his/her new best friend to play with constantly!

There are 15 months between my two. Routine and Cbeebies are your friend!

It gets loads better once the youngest can sit un aided, then even better again when they can move around on their own.

The youngest will just fit around your routine with your eldest.

I second the advice of treating them like twins. They get bathed, changed, fed, dressed all at the same time.

My husband helps out alot in the morning. I make sure I have a shower every day so I feel better and when Im doing this he gets them ready, changes their nappy and puts the empty bottles in to soak. Just those few things help out loads.

We try to go out every day, even if its just to Tesco Express or the local shops. My tandem pram is a god send as its much easier to get around than a side by side double buggy.

One of the hardest aspects is that you cant leave the 2 in the same room ever so I have loads of double up equipment, 1 of each upstairs and downstairs - 2 bouncers, playmats, changing mats, nappy boxes etc etc. I have 10+ bottles because I havent got the time to steralise and wash them during the day.

My eldest does get jealous of DD sometimes, so I make sure she has pink and purple bottles that he knows are hers and her own plate and cutlery to use.

My mum would also help me out in the early days and take DS off for half a day so I would have some quality bonding time with baby DD or vise versa. That really helped.

I do housework in 15 minute spirts and wizz around when they are both in their high chairs. I dont iron or dust anymore!
I BLW as well - so much easier and they both just help themselves to food off one big plate!

I try my hardest not to moan at DS all the time because I know he doesnt know his own strength and he doesnt mean to hurt baby DD but I find this sooo hard. There are times where they drive me bonkers.
Now they are 10 and 25 months its getting easier and they are starting to play with each other. They love each other so much it melts your heart. Every morning when DS wakes up the first thing he says is "where's baby?"

Good luck OP!