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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving the baby on the car whilst you collect your older DC from school - would you?

118 replies

MolotovBomb · 17/10/2012 13:51

I was chatting to one of the other Mums whose son is in the same class as my DD1. We both have new babies: her DD is 7mo and mine is just 6mo.

We were talking about how getting the babies out of the car can wake them, which can be a pain. "Oh, that's why I leave 7mo in the car. I can't be doing with the hassle. I know I take a risk, but ..."

"Do you think she's safe?" Asked I (before really thinking)

"Well, I think she's safe" Said the other Mum.

The car park is round the corner from the class. You turn a corner and cannot see it. I'm usually in for 5-10 minutes collecting my DD.

AIBU to think there's no way on this earth I'd leave my sleeping baby alone in the car?

OP posts:
SkippyYourFriendEverTrue · 17/10/2012 14:53

I have witnessed this before, a baby left in the car SCREAMING with a concerned neighbour standing by tutting (no doubt already viewing the parents at school as selfish bastards because of their horrendous parking) for several minutes till the parent returned.

Someone will call social services on you.

Others will just look smug.

monkeysbignuts · 17/10/2012 14:55

Its not something I would do. Its not worth the risk

LaCiccolina · 17/10/2012 14:59

Its like the conundrum at the petrol station.... Do you leave the child in the car and run in to pay or take it with you?

Seeing so many cars jacked in USA I cant face the what if scenario of it happening here so duly take them out. Plenty don't.

Unsure though if the RSPCA would break a window if they saw it....Illegal to leave a dog but dunno how that applies to a child.

mummyonvalium · 17/10/2012 15:00

I have left mine in the car before when picking up DS. However, the difference is that there is a car park in the school grounds. For me it has nothing to do with someone coming and picking them out of the car I am always more worried that he will wake up and be miserable that no-one is there.

Goldmandra · 17/10/2012 15:01

I imagine the headlines, the vilification and me saying "Well I know it was the wrong thing to do and if only I could go back now I'd make the little bit of extra effort and take her with me Sad."

naturalbaby · 17/10/2012 15:06

No.

If they are older than 6months then do you really want them sleeping that late, and if they are younger then they don't weigh that much to carry in.

We park in the school grounds but I still wouldn't leave any of my dc's in the car when I go in to fetch ds1, no matter how inconvenient it is for me.

Woozley · 17/10/2012 15:09

I never did it for the school run - mainly as I mostly walk(ed) so DD2 could be asleep in the pushchair. The odd time I did drive and DD2 was asleep I just carried her in to the playground. I was lucky she wasn't usually nazzy if she awoke though, unlike DD1...

It was tempting though but where I had to park for school was either on the road, or in the village car park. Was more worried about someone hitting the car while it was parked and DD2 was in it than anything else, especially on the road.

Definitely the kids stay in the car at the petrol station. Actually where I fill up is pay at pump now which is more handy. Also have left them in car park for 5 minutes (really no more) to pop to a shop, while little and asleep or now they are older and occasionally say they would rather stay and listen to the radio. They usually want to come though - it's more scary I think getting them out and across a load of cars trying to park Sad

GwendolineScaryLacey · 17/10/2012 15:43

If they are older than 6months then do you really want them sleeping that late, and if they are younger then they don't weigh that much to carry in.

What rot. Quite apart from the fact that I am no way going to wake DD2 up if she's finally fallen asleep regardless of the time, she was 10lb at birth. I'll assume your child(ren) if you have them were 6lbers only DD2 was a weight to lift the day she came out of the hospital.

It's not always about what's inconvenient for you.

stinklebell · 17/10/2012 15:46

If I couldn't see the car, then I didn't leave a child in it (well, not until they were older at any rate)

Kewcumber · 17/10/2012 15:51

I tried. I am very non-neurotic. I just couldn't quite make myself do it. whether its safe or not, I just couldn't do it. There was just something not quite right in my brain about leaving a small baby alone out of sight in a public place - even in a locked car, it was counter to the way I was with him the other 99% of the time.

Bigwheel · 17/10/2012 15:52

Depends where you live I think. We live in a village, school is down a quiet road. I often leave dd in the car if she's asleep, have done since she's a baby. I'm out of sight of the car, probably a 1 min walk to the school, so she's left for the total of 3/4 minutes. I also leave both kids in the car whilst getting petrol, popping into a corner shop etc. shoot me now Smile, in my area it's what most patents do.

RubyFakeNails · 17/10/2012 15:57

Live in central London, if its relevant.

I would, and I have always. I grew up being left in the car. My dc were always left in the car.

The only thing I would worry about now is some busybody 'reporting' me or trying to get involved which I'm only really aware of since joining mn.

confused247 · 17/10/2012 15:58

I wouldn't if they were out of sight....a few years ago my aunty left my two baby cousins sleeping in the car while she popped in to the village shop. When she came out the car was on fire (caused by an electrical fault it turned out) and although she managed to get both boys out before the fire took hold another couple of minutes and it could have been a different story. So although I know the risk of that happening must be one in several million, for me it isn't one that is worth taking.

3monkeys3 · 17/10/2012 15:59

I will nip into nursery to collect whichever dc are there and leave the ones that aren't in the car, but only if I can park in one of the spaces right next to the gate so I can see the car the whole time - I get there earlier than necessary to try and get one of these spaces, if they're full I wait! It's safer to leave them in the car than juggle 3 children, plus all the bags/coats/etc. I also leave them when paying for petrol - again, I believe this is safer than dragging 3dc across a busy forecourt! Other than that, I wouldn't and try and time all my jobs, etc, at times when I have less people to juggle/only do things I know I can manage with all 3.

AitchDee · 17/10/2012 16:00

Ishop, you actually unbuckle two children under 2 to go into the petrol station? I'd have thought its much, much riskier to do that than leave them strapped into carseats with the doors locked.

In answer to the OP, I only leave mine in the car if it's raining.

moominmarvellous · 17/10/2012 16:03

If I get one of the 'golden' parking spaces right next to the gates, then yes. I'd also wait til the last minute to go in. But if I couldn't see my car, then no.

I don't take him out to pay for petrol, and sometimes go to Tesco Express and leave them in the car. But again, the car is in clear sight

However.../my son is two and a handful. Up until he was about 1 I'd just carry him in.

KeithLeMonde · 17/10/2012 16:07

Personally I never would. Less worried about kidnap, more worried about car being hit by shit elderly drivers (v common on our local roads), baby waking and being distressed. Plus you never know when the teacher will beckon you over for a "quick word", or your older DC falls over running to meet you, and you're there for 10 minutes rather than 2...........

sixlostmonkeys · 17/10/2012 16:14

Would you leave your mobile phone, laptop or camera in the car?

Nancy66 · 17/10/2012 16:17

No.

I'm generally laid back. Would leave a baby to pay for petrol, have left a sleeping baby in cot to nip to postbox at end of road etc....but i couldn't leave a baby in a car if car was out of sight.

Sirzy · 17/10/2012 16:18

I always try to use pay at the pump stations to avoid having to leave DS in the car to pay!

GoSakuramachi · 17/10/2012 16:19

Would you leave your mobile phone, laptop or camera in the car?

I do that too. But I think they are easier to fence than a baby.

CaliforniaLeaving · 17/10/2012 16:24

No would never do it, sleeping or not.
It's actually against the law to do that here, no kids under 7 (It may be 9) may be left unattended in the car. Not that I'd do it anyway.

Narked · 17/10/2012 16:24

My mother did this once with me when I was about 18 months. I let myself out of the car seat and snapped off the indicator stick. She has no idea how. I've never risked it.

mumblecrumble · 17/10/2012 16:28

No.

I was once driving and my 5 month old stuck her hand in her mouth, vomited and choked.

I saw it happened, prevented it from hurting her, no probs.

Arithmeticulous · 17/10/2012 16:29

I've left a baby in a stage 0 or 1 seat when popping to collect older siblings when I can see the car and they are asleep, with the window open so I could hear if they woke up, and only once the older kids had started coming out.

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