...to not feel guilty about upsetting MIL

[ohnowwhat]

At weekend my dd was having a sleep over at mil and dil's. She had already been on the computer with daddy and had about an hour which is the most we allow her.(she only has computer time about twice a week as well)
When she was getting ready to go I told her that as she had already been on the computer that she should not go on mil's (Its an Ipad) that night, and if she went on it the next day she shouldn't go on it for too long.
I told her this as the last time she went and stayed over she was on it for hours.
When Mil brought her back she seemed cool with me.
When she had gone dh told me that I had 'upset her' because I dd had told her that 'mummy said not to go on it tonight'
..wt?
Why on earth should it upset her that dd was being good and remembering her computer rules?
I don't get it?

I think probably MIL uses the iPad to distract DD so she can get rest time. It may sound mad be sure it's just one night but I know my mother couldn't constantly entertain young children, and would need down time. Also your DD wouldn't have all her usual toys and distractions, so maybe she bores easily there?

Or it could just be a case of MIL not liking being told 'what to do', though of course it's your DD being told what to do but she might not see it that way.

Because* not be sure!

I think yabu and rather rigid!

Perhaps mil sees it as her special treat, letting her gd on her ipad, and therefore missed out?

Or, mil sees it that you're controlling what she chooses to do with gd?

Maybe mil was looking forward to doing it together? She'd maybe found games or sites particularly to do together with your dd.

It's similar to if she'd planned a special movie night then your dd turns up saying she isn't allowed to wach tv.

I actually find it a bit odd that screen time at one house should carry over to a visit to somebody... would you also have given the same instructions if your DD was going over to a friend's house?

Yabu for any of the reasons mentioned above.
If you know your dd plays on grandmas iPad then don't use her screen time up before she goes

Maybe because it is her house and her rules and you should not seek to impose your rules on her if you are getting childcare from her.

YABU

YABU and a bit of a control freak.

Yabu! She should be able to choose how to entertain her within reason. If she enjoys going on iPad you should have not let her go on your computer if your strict about it, and you then have to cope with her disappointment!

YABU You just are.

Unclench.

Gawd OP - lighten up !

You're right to be so over cautious

Your DD might catch one of those computer viruses

Haha @ 'unclench.'

I think i should trying adopting that as my mantra.

Yabu!

worra

Yabu!

How rigid are you?!

Let your mil decide what happens with her and her gds time together and chill out!!

How old is your DD?

There was a bunfight thread recently about restricting screen time. One linked blogger had banned all screens for her under 2, and very honestly admitted it made life a pain for everyone else who looked after her child.

I would think that grandma and DD probably enjoy exploring the internet together.

and a good way for grandma to get a few moments off, during visits, I would let them.

was the sleepover for the dd's sake, or were you getting free babysitting?

YABU just be bloody grateful they are there to provide sleepovers and let them entertain your DD how they see fit!

YANBU and I don't see why anyone thinks you are.

If you are strict with screen time, as you should be, then your MIL should respect that. It doesn't matter if she wanted to be able to give her the iPad time as a treat, you are the parent, you get to do treats first.

I had to tell my Mum to stop being so generous with the cakes and ice cream, she was giving them something nearly every time they saw her, and between them, school stuff, and parties, I felt like I was never allowed to give my own child an ice cream because it would have got to being too much. I won't feel guilty about telling my Mum, you shouldn't feel guilty either. Your mil was being ridiculously over dramatic to be funny with you the next day and to tell your DH you had upset her.