to find phrases like 'she who must be obeyed' and 'the missus' disrespectful and annoying

[TheBirdsTheBirds]

even when used by men I personally know to be nice, helpful people, it still grates. Am I being oversensitive? When I first got married, DH learned VERY quickly not to refer to me as 'the missus'. But I can't quite work out why I find it so annoying.

Obviously 'the old ball and chain' is just insulting, but the other two are used regularly and unthinkingly by lots of men on here and in RL.

I used to refer to XH as "him indoors". Nowadays, of course, it's "him no longer indoors". Get a few looks from people, but what the heck. It's politer than what I call him to myself.

While we were in the process of splitting up he took to calling me "girl", which had me spitting mad, as you can probably imagine. I said I had a name, use it. So after that he'd say "Girl, I mean Annie, ahaha".

Men calling their wife/partner = "The Gaffer". That is the language of a total fud.

I call my DH the "Current Mr Tigerbomb"

He called me "The Bint" once... and only once

I hate the expression "getting a pass" in the context of one or other partner going out.

It bothers me too Op.

I've recently started working with a guy who was constantly calling his wife 'the wife' until I asked him his wife's name one day & since then he uses it! He hasn't called her 'the wife' since!

"The missus" or "the wife" makes her sound like an object.

In general no, its just a figure of speech.

However, its annoying in the context of somebody always talking about their partner in negative terms and assuming that all women just want to spend money/be controlling/buy shoes.