To think 'He's my child and I will put him to bed when I want to!'

[Misunderstood48]

I have a 13 Months old DS and his bedtime is at 8pm.

Ever since he was 6 weeks old he has been sleeping 12 hours a night every night so we always have put him to bed at 8pm and he doesn't wake up before 8am.

I went shipping last night with my DS and on three seperate occasions my DS was told 'You should be in bed!' It is not the first time it has happened, in fact nearly everytime I go out at that time I get this comment.

AIBU to think mind your own business and to put my DS to bed at 8pm?

**Shopping

Get used to it. It's not going to stop happening. My kids are home educated and we constantly get 'no school today?' comments. It's just life. People can't understand when people make choices that don't appear 'normal' and their way of making sense of it is to make impertinent comments. It's just life.

Yanbu and I can't believe people actually said that!

Sounds fine to me- none of their business! Our DD was always 7.30-8.00 at that age which seemed to be the same as most people I knew. Slept round until 6.30am which suited us fine as had to get up for work and take her to nursery.

Do whatever suits you and keeps you and your baby happy!!

My 2 year old goes to bed between 8.30pm-9pm, and always has. I quite like it because we can go out for dinner with him No one has ever been so rude as to say anything about it to me though.

You would actually think that?

YANBU It drives me mad the comments from random strangers.

My eldest went to bed when he was tired or at the same time as us from a new born no official bedtime till he was three. When he started nursery he started getting more tired so he slowly fell into a bedtime routine at about 7:30pm.

I would say it to you, but only because I'm jealous. I could never keep mine up past 7 and it's. a 6am wakeup everyday. Everyone else should be the same dammit!!

It's working for you and your ds, and they should keep their noses out. I thought he was going to be primary-age and out at 11pm or something.

As an aside, I absolutely hate the passive-aggressive way some people make critical comments but direct them at the child. "Ooh, aren't you coooold without your jacket?" As if a baby's going to fix them with a steely glare and say: "Actually, no."

He's a baby. Who cares what time a baby goes to bed?

People think babies/toddlers melt when out after dark or 'something' when MIL was alive we used to go on a sunday and stay late I mean 7'30pm late sometimes stopped into the local shop and people would say to mine you are up/out late tonight

Who cares what people think. My kids (2+4) go to bed around 7ish but sometimes we go shopping on a friday night because it is quiet and you get some good bargains. The weekends at the supermarket make me want to die, its like a scrum! I don't care if people think I shouldn't be out shopping with the kids at 7pm and neither should you.

I've never put any of my kids to bed before 8pm, ever.

my kids were not 6.30 bedders more 7 30/8 30. DD1 was more like 11 sigh

I think you are over-reacting, personally.

The comments are almost certainly meant "conversationally".

My SIL used to get similarly overheated when random strangers used to look at my niece and say "aww, look at those lovely chubby legs". She somehow translated that into a sign that everyone was telling her she was over-feeding her child and she was therefore a bad mother.

Just smile and move on, it means nothing.

YANBU- it's very rude to say anything.

I confess that I do think judgey things about kids being out late- but I'm talking being out shopping at 9pm etc, not before 8pm!; and I do feel surprised when friends put their babies/toddlers to bed late.

But that's mostly because a) I like having a grown-up evening so a 7pm bedtime suits me and b) our girl wakes up at the crack of dawn whatever time she goes to bed, so a late bedtime would be a disaster for her.

And I would never, ever say anything. It's absolutely the parents' choice!

8pm-8am is a bloody great sleep at your son's age, as you obviously know. He is most likely getitng more sleep than other kids who go to bed earlier, and is unlikely to be overtired.

My childs a similiar age and has only recently started sleeping through the night at all, she falls asleep around 11 and she's up at 8 ready to bounce off the walls for the day. There's no way I'd put her to bed at a time others think acceptable, she sleeps for a solid 9 hours straight, no more than that, if she went to bed at 7, she'd be up at 4 and there is no way in hell I'm starting my day that early.

You do whatever is right for your child and your family. Btw, 12 hours a night from six weeks???.. I'm so jealous, that sounds amazing

chill out! Wait till people say "Oooh you shouldn't be eating that/saying that/playing that/going there....and they will!

Agree with Cointreau - be confident and smile as if it's a joke

Mine is a night owl, just like his dad, if it was for him he'd go to bed the same time as us....

People are just rude. Ignore them.

my DD is 10 months old and she goes to bed between 10 and 11.
she's changed into her sleepsuit at 9-9:30 and has a sleep feed, then comes to bed.
but that sleep feed has only happened in the past couple of weeks.
before then she didn't sleep until she got into bed.

what works for you is always best. it'll need to be earlier when he goes to school, but YANBU.
people just like to comment.

Ooh so agree with CarpeThimgy. My MIL should teach a class in passive aggressive insults aimed at the child, drives me bloody nuts!!!

Just ignore them.

I'd love a baby that slept 8-8 ... mine always whinge to go to bed at 5.30 and get up at 5 !!!

Agree that you choose the bedtime.

Reminds me of a Spanish woman I used to work with who put her baby to bed at 9 and would then wake at a very civilised 9 am after its 12 hours and she chuckled at fellow mums who put baby to bet at about 6.30 then moaned they were woken by baby so early, ie about 6.30. She wondered why they didn't just put them to bed later if they wanted them to sleep later.

Me mine were always in bed by 7 just because I was done in and ready for a bit of peace and quiet by then (selfish).