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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off at this?

58 replies

ChuckDick · 08/10/2012 19:08

GPs look after DD sometimes while I am at work. She goes to bed by about 6.45 at the beginning of a week so she doesn't get too tired. I came home early (for a change) and was locked out from 6.05 until 6.30 today as they took my keys and were not back. I then have 15 mins to get DD bathed, changed and into bed while they stay getting her (and me!) more wound up. AIBU to think that they should respect bedtime when part of her normal routine and when I am home early think I might like to spend some time with my DD? FWIW she stays up late when we are there weekends and we spent a couple of hours with them yesterday.

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 08/10/2012 19:09

why didnt you tell them you would be early?

sugariceANDSCARY · 08/10/2012 19:09

How old is DD.

Flisspaps · 08/10/2012 19:12

How old is your DD?

I think tonight, as a one off, you should have relaxed a bit and taken your time over bedtime, rather than rushing. A few minutes tonight won't wear her out for the end of the week!

If this is a regular thing, then you need to tell them that you're grateful that they look after DD, and that she loves spending time with them, but that they need to make sure that they have her back home for 6pm at the latest, so that she can start winding down for bed. If they hang round, that's fine, but they will be expected to keep things calm and quiet for bed.

vodkaanddietirnbru · 08/10/2012 19:13

6.45pm is mega early. I dont think mine have ever gone to bed at that time. You could have missed out the bath too if you were pushed for time. It's not their fault you came home early either.

vodkaanddietirnbru · 08/10/2012 19:14

6.45pm is mega early. I dont think mine have ever gone to bed at that time. You could have missed out the bath too if you were pushed for time. It's not their fault you came home early either.

Original poster
ChuckDick · 08/10/2012 19:14

DD is 2.1. I left work and drove home 40 mins so couldn't call while driving, did not expect them to be out

OP posts:
vodkaanddietirnbru · 08/10/2012 19:14

sorry for double post

GoSakuramachi · 08/10/2012 19:15

you could just chill out and keep her up for another half an hour. The world wouldn't come crashing down if she wasn't in bed at the very early time of 6.45.

Original poster
ChuckDick · 08/10/2012 19:16

She is asleep by 7, sleeps until 7.15am. So not too earl IMO.

OP posts:
NimpyWindowMash · 08/10/2012 19:18

If they are doing you a favour, to save on organised childcare, then you should probably expect them to do things their way. YANBU to be pissed off, but I would keep it to yourself.

Pumpster · 08/10/2012 19:19

Do they not have a key?

Pumpster · 08/10/2012 19:21

So you normally get home at 6.30 and she normally goes to bed at 6.45?

SoupDragon · 08/10/2012 19:22

Do you expect them to wait in on the off chance you come home early? They've done nothing wrong - they were back before bedtime Confused

mamij · 08/10/2012 19:24

6.45pm isn't too early IMO. Mine (2.11) goes to bed at 7pm. She gets tired by 5/6pm and doesn't nap.

mosschops30 · 08/10/2012 19:27

Why don't your parents come and have my dcs. Then u can use a cm and pay £700 a month, and get your child in bed by 6.45.
I'm not sure I know anyone who has such a rigid time frame, mine go to bed at 8ish which is anything between 7.15 and 8.30.

Pumpster · 08/10/2012 19:28

Mine go to bed when I've had enough of them when they look tired.

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights · 08/10/2012 19:28

You need to relax. It would not have harmed her to go to bed at 7, And you could have called before you set off AND you should all have a key.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 08/10/2012 19:29

They are saving you a fortune.

YABVVU

legohouse · 08/10/2012 19:30

you should be glad to have GP'S who help you out

CoolaSchmoola · 08/10/2012 19:31

I'm confused...

You left work early and drove for 40 minutes so couldn't phone because you were driving.... Could you not have phoned before you left?

If you left early and got home at 6.05 then either you don't usually do the bedtime routine on the day they look after her, or you always have 15 mins or less between getting home and bedtime.

Technically it was you that screwed up the 6.45 bedtime routine by appearing in the middle of a time when you are not normally home, without telling anyone.

YABU to be annoyed with them when they will have their own routines whilst they are looking after your child for free and clearly you were fine with whatever they were doing until today when you came home early and without warning and interrupted the routine they have.

SecretCermonials · 08/10/2012 19:33

My DS will be 3 in just over a week, other than the odd party or whatever he has always gone to bed by 7. As he has become more active (last 6 months or so) he has been going up at 5.45- 6pm we are out of the room by half 6 latest. He sleeps very well wakes around 7-8. If he goes up later he just doesnt sleep as well. He has no naps and hasnt since about 2 and a half.

The point of the above is to point out that the OP clearly knows the sleep her child needs, and didnt ask your opinions on the bedtime so its hardly fair to go on the attack about it as shock horror all children are different.

OP maybe you should lay out what you'd like more clearly, however this is the drawback of family helping you.

OldGreyWiffleTest · 08/10/2012 19:33

Dear God - all that angst over 15 minutes. Relax and be grateful you are not paying CM fees.

YouOldSlag · 08/10/2012 19:34

Since they are saving you a wedge, let them them have some teeny tiny bits of autonomy such as a slightly later bedtime. (we're talking 15 mins).

As wannabe and mosschops point out, there are very expensive alternatives. You can't micromanage everything if you are not there.

Let this go, you need them more than they need you.

BitOutOfPractice · 08/10/2012 19:36

Yabvu. Unclench. It's 15 minutes FFS. And they've looked after her while you're at work? You have no idea how lucky you are. Here's a grip. I suggest you get one for yourself.

pumpkinsweetie · 08/10/2012 19:36

It's a one off, one night up later than 6:45 won't hurt.
Routines are a good thing but don't stress if things don't always go to plan.
Gps are saving you a fortune

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