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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off at this?

58 replies

ChuckDick · 08/10/2012 19:08

GPs look after DD sometimes while I am at work. She goes to bed by about 6.45 at the beginning of a week so she doesn't get too tired. I came home early (for a change) and was locked out from 6.05 until 6.30 today as they took my keys and were not back. I then have 15 mins to get DD bathed, changed and into bed while they stay getting her (and me!) more wound up. AIBU to think that they should respect bedtime when part of her normal routine and when I am home early think I might like to spend some time with my DD? FWIW she stays up late when we are there weekends and we spent a couple of hours with them yesterday.

OP posts:

Rosebud05 · 08/10/2012 19:37

I'm not sure how they were supposed to know telepathically that you were going to be early. If I don't have my house keys, I always call the person who does to check they'll be in before I set off home.

Sorry, but you're unreasonable to be pissed off. They're helping you out. Your dd doesn't have to have a bath or hours to wind down every night - a bit of flexibility can reduce a lot of stress sometimes.

usualsuspect3 · 08/10/2012 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeauNeidel · 08/10/2012 19:39

I understand this has annoyed you, but really you need to chill out a bit. If she absolutely had to be in bed by 6.45, could you not have postponed the bath till the following night? Or, could you not have just allowed her to go to bed 15 minutes later?

She is 2.1 and I understand routine and bedtimes are important - but at the same time, she is 2.1 and is not in school yet, so presumably she can have a nap if needs be.

usualsuspect3 · 08/10/2012 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoolaSchmoola · 08/10/2012 19:39

"I then have 15 mins to get DD bathed, changed and into bed while they stay getting her (and me!) more wound up."

Should they have just left because you came home early? You walk in, they walk out? Hmmmm, that's somewhat unreasonable too don't you think?

I'm sorry but you sound inflexible and ungrateful. Everything you have complained about is down to you leaving work early and not telling them.

BitOutOfPractice · 08/10/2012 19:40

And if you're not too busy chilling the heck out, get a spare key cut and leave it with a neighbour or somewhere cunningly safe

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 08/10/2012 19:43

Yabu.

My dh is like this. If its 7:05 I swear he gets a tick and rushes the children to bed as its past 7pm.

I appreciate your dd has a routine, as do mine, but as a one off, going to bed at 7:15, or even 7:30- will not do her any harm.

Like others have said you should be grateful of the help.

No one looks after our children apart from me and my dh. And I would love gp to look at after the boys. The only night off I get is if in giving birth! (True)

IneedAsockamnesty · 08/10/2012 19:43

i think this is the very first time i have ever done this on a gp childcare related thread and i never thought the day would come that i disagreed with the parent but it has indeed yabu

Original poster

ChuckDick · 08/10/2012 19:49

Sometimes, they look after her sometimes. We pay for a childcare place anyway for the weeks they can't, as they have their own lives and are not responsible for our children. So they are not saving us £££

Plus as I said, we are flexible on weekends/holidays etc but not at start of busy week.

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 08/10/2012 19:51

How were they to know you were going to be early?
If you were "early" at 6.05, what time would you normally arrive home at?

DawnOfTheDee · 08/10/2012 19:53

So they do still save you money. But that's not the issue here. The issue is you came home early without letting them know and were annoyed because they were out. YABU.

sookiesookie · 08/10/2012 19:55

I don't get it. You were home early and its their fault they weren't in and should have expected you? So they do the bedtime routine then? but in this situation after looking after your dd all day you wanted them to leave immediately because you were there, maybe they wanted to see you?

I also Don't get this bit > Sometimes, they look after her sometimes. We pay for a childcare place anyway for the weeks they can't

If they only look after her sometimes why do you pay for child care the weeks they can have her. Surely if they only do it occasionally, you pay for childcare every week. Not just when they are away?

sookiesookie · 08/10/2012 19:56

The weeks the can't have her.

Choufleur · 08/10/2012 19:58

Get them their own set of keys so you don't have to give them yours and then if the have the audacity to take your dc out again you can get in an have a cuppa in peace.

YABU - it's a one off and won't kill her.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 08/10/2012 20:00

Pfb I'm afraid

BitOutOfPractice · 08/10/2012 20:00

It's not the money you're saving. It's the flexible loving, one on one Childcare which they give which so many of us would give our right arms for

My guess is that you had a shit day at work, got all excited about being home early and then got really pissed off that you were locked out (school girl error) and by the time they were home you had wound yourself up into this state of completely unjustified righteous indignation. Am I right?

ScarahStratton · 08/10/2012 20:01

YABU.

And v v pfb, get over yourself and start being a bit more grateful.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 08/10/2012 20:15

Yabu.

Original poster

ChuckDick · 08/10/2012 20:27

Sorry all.... Shouldn't post while angry. Seems I'm not the only one to lose perspective. Although tbh I didn't expect a bashing for being a working parent who wanted to come home and spend time with their DD but NOT upset her normal routine as it is unusual. Will definitely just go for a drink instead next time.

FWIW, just wanted to feel better and enjoying a glass of wine for last hour and a half knowing other people still have toddlers up has made me chill out, so thanks all....

OP posts:

mrsrosieb · 08/10/2012 20:27

I cannot even allow my parents access to my 14 month old after my dad said he would "put him in a busy road and make him crawl in the traffic".

I would dearly love to have parents who could look after my son.

Jinsei · 08/10/2012 20:34

Sorry OP, but yabu. And pfb. You need to relax!

BitOutOfPractice · 08/10/2012 20:38

FFS cut the passive aggressive bullshit op. nobody gave you a bashing for being a working parent. Just for bring an uptight drama queen

ScarahStratton · 08/10/2012 20:39

What Bit said. Nothing to do with you being a working parent, all to do with you being an ungrateful drama llama, with no perspective.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 08/10/2012 20:43

Oh now its about working mums.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 08/10/2012 21:29

You're very rude op.

You asked for an opinion and it was given to you.

On an aibu thread you are bound to get people who don't agree with you. Ywbu over a tiny timeframe, and when you didn't let the gp's know you would be early etc.

In the grand scheme of things it wasn't/isn't worth getting so uptight over.

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