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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want inlaws to lay off DD a bit, she's only 2.5!

73 replies

newcommer · 07/10/2012 22:28

I can't help feeling slightly upset and annoyed after conversation with DBIL today, that he is genuinely surprised that DD is not writing her name yet, or that I am not even getting her to practice.

It just seems that instead of concentrating on the things our DD can do, that the inlaws will spend more time correcting her mistakes in grammar ect, which I understand that they want her to improve, but I can see that it does dampen her spirit.

I don't feel DD is falling behind her peers, she can easily use 10 word sentences and recite nursery rhymes, but maybe I'm not spending enough time teaching her, helping her reach her full potential, I just feel that at not even 3 yet that I shouldn't come down too hard on her.

I guess what I am really asking is how old were your children when you started practicing their writing skills, and is my parenting really that slack?

OP posts:
hhhhhhh · 07/10/2012 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy · 07/10/2012 22:30

Just ignore them!

OhYouBadBadKitten · 07/10/2012 22:30

At the moment all you should be doing is giving her access to paper and crayons etc. you can show her how she can print her name, but only if she is interested. Life at 2.5 should be fun!

cutegorilla · 07/10/2012 22:30

Oh FGS she's 2!!! YANBU!

FizzyLaces · 07/10/2012 22:31

Agree ignore.

nailak · 07/10/2012 22:31

my dd is 4, been in nursery 2 terms, can't write her name (her bday in sept) she knows all her phonics sounds and letters, can count to 30, just starting to do blending. Can write numbers but not letters.

monkeysbignuts · 07/10/2012 22:31

she is not even 3 yet! Seriously your family need to get a grip, most two year olds struggle to.scribble with a pen or pencil never mind write anything!

AngelaMerkel · 07/10/2012 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

natsmum100 · 07/10/2012 22:32

YANBU!

Don't listen to them. Why does a toddler need to be able to write her own name? If she wants to learn, she'll let you know. Childhood is not a race to learn to read and write.

comedycentral · 07/10/2012 22:32

Ignore them. She's so little. Plenty of time to learn this in the future.

Aboutlastnight · 07/10/2012 22:33

They are being ridiculous. You need to tell them to stop.

Sirzy · 07/10/2012 22:33

To answer your question DS who is 3 next month is just starting to write his own name but only because he is obsessed with getting me to write it then trying to copy it!

Barabajagal · 07/10/2012 22:33

Your inlaws are loons. I take it BIL doesn't have children yet. Ignore.

skateboarder · 07/10/2012 22:33

Tell them she writed poems when they are not there, so it must be them putting her off.
Yanbu

WorraLiberty · 07/10/2012 22:33

They sound completely bonkers!

monkeysbignuts · 07/10/2012 22:33

ny daughter has just turned 3 & she can write a curly C, that's all. this is the start letter of her name and I wouldn't expect more at this age.

Soditall · 07/10/2012 22:34

Take no notice I'm a mother of 5 children and they're all very bright and doing well in school and none of them were writing they're name at that age.

larks35 · 07/10/2012 22:34

YANBU and definitely not slack. Let her come to it when she wants to. I remember my niece loved to carry round a notebook and pen when she was 3 or so. She would sit and quietly "write" for ages. She wasn't writing anything just drawing curly lines, my DSIL was at uni at the time and writing a lot of notes and essays, so DN was copying her and "writing". I think as a family we would have been a bit freaked out if she was really writing and we can tend to be a bit academic.

WilfredToadflax · 07/10/2012 22:34

I'm guessing he doesn't have dc.
If he does, he has no idea about dc's at all, so just ignore.

Ds1 had no interest in writing whatsoever, and could write his name badly when he was nearly 5.
Dd was 3.8ish
Ds2 was about 4

I have no idea if they were behind where they should be, but they are all doing fine at school, and are at the level, or above, where they should be.

conorsrockers · 07/10/2012 22:34

Aaaarrggghhhh. I would give them a stern talking to. Give her independence, teach her how to share, how to soothe herself - to not be afraid to ask questions and be inquisitive and the world is her oyster. You can spend all the time in the world hot housing her now, but by the time she is 9/10 she will be at the same stage had you not bothered. My DS1 couldn't write ANYTHING when he went to school, couldn't even count to 10. He won the handwriting competition last year Grin. DS2 and 3 are the same. Breaks my heart when I see these parents forcing their kids to read at 3. Totally unnecessary. Make your feelings known and stick to your guns - you need to foster a natural love of learning in her and they do not sound like they are helping you.

MrsDimples · 07/10/2012 22:35

FfS. They are knobs.

My daughter didn't even say Mummy til gone 2.

Little people's 'job' is to play and learn through play. It is your job to ensure they have lots of fun and love.

If in laws are being twats and stopping the fun - correcting grammar is fucking ridiculous - stop them seeing her.

As for writing . . . . Stab Them All Now with the play dough knife she should be wielding and not a pen.

weeps for all little people with competitive twats for relatives

noblegiraffe · 07/10/2012 22:35

Does he have children?

Check the milestones if you're worried about what she should be doing, but rest assured that writing her own name is nowhere near anything expected of a 2.5 year old.

LilRedWG · 07/10/2012 22:35

She's a baby! Ignore them. School is where she will learn to write.

DeepPurple · 07/10/2012 22:35

My dd will be 3 next month ands he has not shown any interest in writing yet. Yanbu.

Way2Go · 07/10/2012 22:36

You need to tel DBIL to butt out. What a pillock!

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