To think Mumsnet has changed me?? (or Mumsnet vs The Real World)

[Proudnscary]

Mumsnet has changed my thoughts and attitudes in the four years I've been prowling these 'ere boards.

I have a big group of friends in RL and a lively, jokey social life blah de blah but my hackles get raised so much more quickly now. My attitude and knowledge about feminism, porn, domestic abuse, is much more evolved than it was pre Mumsnet (I didn't really think about these things to be honest). Now I speak up and challenge dodgy views - (hopefully) in a good natured/bantery way.

BUT it's weird when you get a RL vs Mumsnet jolt! When a group of intelligent, fab real life women talk dismissively about things that people would go nuts about on here. It's like a parallel universe in some ways. So sometimes I think it's made me go slightly insania.

Anyone else remotely know what I mean?!

One of my favourite things about MN is that it is "intolerant to intolerance" as I call it.

My pregnant cousin texted me "Netmums or mumsnet?" a few months ago - sent her a reply which boiled down to 'MN - for evidence-based information, banter and bunfights'.

I wouldn't say it's changed me as a person but it's definitely influenced my parenting techniques - breastfeeding (4 years continuously and counting), babywearing,babyled weaning, rear-facing car seats till 4, co-sleeping, etc., avoidance of fruit shoots (!). And it has given me the evidence to justify those decisions to the inlaws!

(Not that I have to justify my parenting of course but I do find that quoting WHO guidelines or the UNICEF Bradford sleep study settles a lot of issues quite quickly!)

This thread is great! Yes it has changed me, I would still be limping along like a wounded bird in a marriage that was making me miserable without it. And I would be a lot less savvy about men waving red flags too!
Blondie, your story was fab and touching and heart warming!

Geek - go for it sista, laminate and be proud!

Feral - YY! That is another one. The 'it's OK to say racist remarks if you're not really a racist' thing. I have a very funny friend who is so quick witted, she makes you weep with laughter and she often uses the work Paki in an ironic way (yes it really is ironic, she's not racist) but now it makes me itchy and I have to challenge it or give her a look. It just isn't acceptable, even as a 'joke'.

I find it very sad that MN has not changed sm in any ways.
Things must have happened to you to make you that way,and that is sad.

scottishmummy - by opinions i mean i feel able to express opinions here; even if people here disagree.

In RL, i have lovely friends, (mostly) nice colleagues, supportive family & good neighbours etc but none of them are interested in talking about issues like current affairs, feminism & politics; they don't like debate & do all have quite different opinions to me; so i can get quite frustrated by that.

I really enjoy debate, also i'm learning to listen more to others' opinions on here which is a useful skill for me to learn because in RL i'm rubbish at slowing down enough to listen to other people.

MN has the best emoticons.

And in my head mooncup is manufactured by MN. Best ever invention.

Mumsnet is the only place on earth where everyone makes sense.

Today Mumsnet saved me from having to wake DH up and argue with him. Just because it felt like I want to let rip about my life, lack of work, lack of money, the mess, the mess, the mess!. Instead I looked through some threads, realised I'm not the only one who hates a messy house and the drudgery of motherhood, and instead I have had a nice break with a cuppa tea and feel on top of the world again.

MN hasn't changed me as such but it has opened my eyes in both good and bad ways to the Nature Of People!

I largely use MN for advice (like Chemistry h/w!), but also for insight about handling child related issues. I tend only to respond to others if I can help or add insight myself, but I read a lot of posts and feel amazed and- dare I say?- a bit, well, 'disappointed' at how so many people, obviously largely women (being MN an'all) seem to fail to take any type of control or responsibility over their lives and futures. So many of us come across like corks bobbing around in an ocean not of our making or choosing. However, even this has 'helped' me understand why some things are the way they are; like why there are so many unplanned babies around! I was genuinely shocked at the huge numbers of people on one thread about whether one had ever had unprotected sex on a one night stand, who not only had but who ridiculed those (like me!) who wouldn't dream of having any 'unprotected' sex unless TTC! It made me see that a lot of women have a far more relaxed attitude to casually conceived DC than I have, for instance; and how many unplanned, unaffordable and now fatherless 'accidents' are regarded as 'a gift'...

I have, on a few occasions, been accused of 'snobbery' because of this view...!

Perhaps it's changed some of my views, on the plus. On the negative, it's also made me less productive....

I'm spent the past few days trying to find a less cliched way to say it... but MN has made me feel much more confident and empowered, and less alone and unable to supress my sniggers whenever a RL friend gives her DC pombears or a fruitshoot

Been here about 4 years, under various names. I love it. I've only ever felt supported.

I grew up in a Tory-voting, DM-reading family and seem to have a similar RL circle. MN is like a breath of fresh air for feminism, politics and considered, nuanced views.

I don't even feel left out not being a mum! This site has grown to be so much more than just parenting.

Boer - parenting advice/issues is the absolute least thing I come on here for. I'm on here for the larfs and the bunfights and the eductation and the support and the interesting political/newsy discussions...

Been here 8 years.
MN sure has changed me. I had no idea that people had such polar opposite views to me, until I came on MN.
I have been TOTALLY supported and helped, through an awful lot, on MN.
MN has helped Me. ALOT.

Actually I'm a bit sad that I've found MN. It has changed me, no doubt. Some of it is probably in a good way. But because I am a bit of a loner my eyes have been opened as to how awful people really can be. The selfishness so often outlined here makes me despair actually. There are lovely people on here, don't get me wrong, but wanky behaviour is so much more common than I thought that it doesn't make up for it.

And I feel uneasy to chat with strangers in RL because I now know how misinterpreted I might be.

Ahh, nemno, don't despair - try to remember the nice people ? Maybe MN isn't for you though if it's not added to the sum of your happiness ? Can you un-find us ?

I posted early on and have been thinking more about MN and its effects

It appeals to my voyeuristic side I love threads where people behave in ways that are so amusing eg the AIBU to have paid half a taxi fare and provoke some hilarious responses. Or those about outrageous behaviour from friends eg will you pick up my child every day this term for nothing in return ?

More seriously though I found MN 6 months after xh left for his ow and it helped me process everything much more efficiently and I was on a support thread for others in that position. In RL life I didnt know anyone this had happened to so to talk to others who understood made a huge difference

I think there are all sorts of support networks on MN which may not change people but do provide so much for them

You mean like a middle class true life magazine, gettingeasier?

at 'middle class true life magazine' Proud

Less 'Take a Break' more 'Latte Life'

MN helped me find the courage to leave an abusive relationship.

It also educated me on red flags in a relationship (ohhhh there were many, once I'd opened my eyes) and what a proper relationship should be like.

I am forever grateful for that, because now I know what I will and won't put up with from a partner, and I'm not going to settle for being thrown scraps when I should be up at the table eating like a queen :)

You also made me laugh till tears rolled down my face with "50 Shades of Mumsnet".

oh spare me the dr crane analysis of my mn usage
do feel sad for the vulnerable,and Ill treated in society.it's hard world for them
don't feel sorry about how a stranger uses an online forum. ps do you feel sad fir the others who say theyre unchanged or just charity case me?

Well, as a Yank who's never been out of North America in my life, it's changed my worldview a lot, I think.

Good lord someone has been desperately spoiling for a fight over this whole thread but I'm genuinely baffled about the motivation/provocation.

Cheerful - right so you think the rest of the world is full of outspoken, drunken, profane, anti buggy/forward facing car seat/fruit shoot/formula feeding obsessed maniacs?