To think Mumsnet has changed me?? (or Mumsnet vs The Real World)

[Proudnscary]

Mumsnet has changed my thoughts and attitudes in the four years I've been prowling these 'ere boards.

I have a big group of friends in RL and a lively, jokey social life blah de blah but my hackles get raised so much more quickly now. My attitude and knowledge about feminism, porn, domestic abuse, is much more evolved than it was pre Mumsnet (I didn't really think about these things to be honest). Now I speak up and challenge dodgy views - (hopefully) in a good natured/bantery way.

BUT it's weird when you get a RL vs Mumsnet jolt! When a group of intelligent, fab real life women talk dismissively about things that people would go nuts about on here. It's like a parallel universe in some ways. So sometimes I think it's made me go slightly insania.

Anyone else remotely know what I mean?!

i have atually seriously considered getting a mooncup!!! but nah cant face washing it in the sinks at the loos at work !!

def agree, especially on feminism

since joining here i am more outspoken, have sent out that page 3 link and I rankle when I watch Italian TV

and yes have also nearly said SIL/BIL et al

I was also very touched by the support I got, on two specific issues

I am also way more careful and senstitive when I post now

I sound like a big fart?? How very DARE you, Insanity!

Yes, I totally agree with the general consensus of 'I am more judgy/I am less judgy' since being on MN.

It's amazing how many people are saying the same thing on here. I did think it might just be me who had the MN jury in their heads most of the time!

I also agree with posters who say their writing style and responses on here have softened. Mine definitely have. Maybe that's because once you've been here a while you will have undoubtedly got much-needed support, even in the littlest way, at some point and so you want to be more helpful to other posters though still verbally kicking the arse of the more stupid/offensive/precious ones...that ain't never gonna change. And because it's such a big site sometimes you have to 'shout' to have your voice heard at first.

I looked around for a gavel today whilst in the midst of a humourous disagreement with dp. Not finding one, I announced "GAVEL!" and gave a decisive nod.
Dp then asks "EB?" "No," I replied, "mumsnet."

Mn is a wonderful place that allows me to something more interesting with my time than vacuuming, or organising the larder.

YANBU. I completely agree and was mulling this thought over myself the other day. I really feel that Mumsnet fulfils the role that extended family used to. By that, I mean women used to learn how to "mother" from being around family and friends with children, which happens less these days. Mumsnet provides the knowledge, advice and support that our Mum, Aunts, Cousins etc...used to give.

I sometimes wonder if I rely on MN too much.

I know for a fact that I spend too long on here, which invalidates my arguments with DP about the time he spends mucking about with his hobbies vs the 'quality time' he spends with me.

I definitely think twice about fashion decisions if I've read on here that they are not 'MN' eg laminate floors, twigs n shit, etc.

But I am hugely more confident in my own views, and will express them rather than keep them to myself as I would have pre-MN.

I am far more aware of the different lives people live, the issues they face, the decisions they make and the impact they can have. I am less judgy, that's for sure.

And I am guilty of using MN speak. My DP referred to our daughter as 'DD' the other week and I have been pondering ever since whether he's heard me use the term or whether he is stalking me on MN (he knows my password).

And if ever I need a quick pick me up, I reach for MN rather than wine or choc (that's a lie, by the way. I reach for all three at the same time).

I have become a staunch feminist in lots of respects since being on here.

I also have to bite my tounge/soften this with a lot of friends in real life though unless I've had a few glasses of pinot

My relationship with my partner has changed beyond recognition to what it was a year or so ago because I take no shit whatsoever!

I have the tools to express myself very well indeed now

Cheers to mumsnet!

Mumsnet has given me the courage of my own convictions. Before MN, I had gut instincts/feelings/the idea that... but always doubted myself. Sharing views with other people and pitching my own views against others has given me the faith to believe that actually sometimes I am right/do know best, and I trust my own judgement better now.

It has also shown me that whatever problems you have, someone else has worse and that with support, you will get through it.

I have learned a lot about my relationship with my mother and how that shaped my teenage years and took my confidence away. More importantly it has helped me to find ways to deal with it.

And I now know it's ok to feel like this about vases of twigs and pebbly shit.

Oh fucksocks. I have a vase of twigs in my living room - they are huge branchy, kitch things sprayed in gold with birds on them and shit and there are pebbles at the bottom of the vase.

Proud I think it might be ok if the living room is painted with a sludgy coloured Farrow & Ball and you don't have wooden foot high letters spelling EAT or BATHE in the kitchen and bathroom

Mumsnet has made me a more confident householder because now I know exactly what to do in the event of zombie attacks. You don't get that from any other parenting site though I think the zombies may run some of them

YANBU at all - I feel the same.

scottishmummy aren't you protesting a wee bit too much?

Oh Annie how could I forget - that too!

OP, definitely. Been on here for four or five years now and its broadened my horizons, I'm less quick to judge jump to conclusions and enlightened me on subjects that I have never encountered in real life.

Also I am much more confident at challenging my mother's ridiculous views and have greater expectations from my DH than my mum has from my dad.

Still got my vase of pebbles though!

I don't have a DH or DCs, only looked on Mumsnet out of curiosity after the media called the last General Election ''a Mumsnet Election'' - i clicked onto AIBU straight away by accident & got hooked!

Was pleased to know you aren't all mums either because i was a bit worried about that - i didn't want to stop browsing Mumsnet when i found i enjoyed reading the politics & feminism threads, & style and beauty, Chat etc etc...

I thought ''oh my god there are other women who are feminists! & interested in politics! as well as moisturiser! & they swear! & you don't have to be a mum too! Excellent!!'' so i joined & mainly end up on AIBU, only namechanged a couple of times.

I do have several vases of pebbles though. Mainly ones i found on the beach. And shells, ditto. And photos of me (but with my friends, family & er, cat)....
And i definitely was shocked to hear about mooncups (sorry not a convert there yet...). But have learnt a lot of stuff in general on MN.

I've changed by getting less angry & frustrated in RL because i can express my opinions & argue with others on topics that no-one in my RL discusses.

Also if i do (hopefully) have children then i will know where to look for good advice. Anyway gotta finish my :)

I love being able to do this: symbol and these symbols & & then more of these :)

I'm a full time carer to my DC - MN is brilliant as it keeps me in touch with other people and if I have a problem I post on here and usually get some good advice back - it is brilliant - long may it continue!! Thank you!!

I'm a much better informed feminist than I was, I can recognise far more relationship red flags, and I'm less likely to judge (mostly). And I'm the proud owner of a mooncup

OP, I luff mumsnet too, in fact probably too much as I am never off the damn thing.

Someone posted asking for help at 2am the other night (I am overseas) - it made me tearful just reading it, poor poster alone and upset at 2am, but mumsnetters came on with support and advice - I mean where else would you ever get that?

bs I engage in mn on level that suits me,how I chose to post,and what I post
it's not compulsory to find enrichment,or fink everyone is luffly,or change
I think people big up opinions on mn..crowd mentality,and anonymity effect eg LTB

*bs I engage in mn on level that suits me,how I chose to post,and what I post it's not compulsory to find enrichment,or fink everyone is luffly,or change
I think people big up opinions on mn..crowd mentality,and anonymity effect eg LTB *

Hear, hear. But the anonymity is a great thing. I got honest free advice on the legal threads about stuff I would have been wary of others finding out about if I'd asked in RL.

Proud
Don't worry about the twigs - I am STILL going to laminate the lounge - mainly because I am fed up with the dust from carpets. When I traded my museam piece vac for a cyclone the number of colds the DS's got went down noticeably.

As for me:

Mumsnet has encourage me to be more of an activist:

I am going to the protest against cuts on the 20th:

I have joined a local feminist group

I have become a STEM ambassidor

I have re-started my old Blog

I am much more likely to pick on people being misogynistic and generally UN-PC.
My tolerance for bullshit is even lower - eg I will delete people from FB for using racist/sectarian language without a word.

Yep, less judgey (or likely to think harder before judging or at least less likely to voice my most judgey opinions) I do have a little voice in my head that says "but what would MN say...?" that helps me rationalise my most judgey instincts.

I'm very leftie anyway but much less likely to tolerate that sort of stupid tongue in cheek racism and sexism that people do in an ironic-I'm-not-racist-so-it's-alright-to say-paki kind of a way.

I had a real hatred of emoticons before MN, now I love them (esp )

And I would probably never have got a mooncup if it hadn't been for MN. Love the mooncup.

mumsnet has made me more confident. more able to be honest about the way i feel.

it is okay to be me, and mumsnet has helped me get there.

Crowd mentality huh?
This is such a diverse place I would hardly call it a crowd
But hey who am I to judge