To think Mumsnet has changed me?? (or Mumsnet vs The Real World)

[Proudnscary]

Mumsnet has changed my thoughts and attitudes in the four years I've been prowling these 'ere boards.

I have a big group of friends in RL and a lively, jokey social life blah de blah but my hackles get raised so much more quickly now. My attitude and knowledge about feminism, porn, domestic abuse, is much more evolved than it was pre Mumsnet (I didn't really think about these things to be honest). Now I speak up and challenge dodgy views - (hopefully) in a good natured/bantery way.

BUT it's weird when you get a RL vs Mumsnet jolt! When a group of intelligent, fab real life women talk dismissively about things that people would go nuts about on here. It's like a parallel universe in some ways. So sometimes I think it's made me go slightly insania.

Anyone else remotely know what I mean?!

Here ya go

no mn doesn't need a mooncup wearing hippy singing kumbyyah fireside
what a chilling thought
mn works well because it's not too gushy,and luffs ya hun.no sparkly shite either

Since joining MN, I have made more sense of some of the events that have happened in my life. My difficult relationship with an emotionally abusive father, how my mother chose her relationship over her children, the bad choices I made as a teenager/young adult and forgiven myself for much of it. That is a good thing.

God I'm totally with you there, scottishmummy.

I try to do all manner of Mumsnet links/converts at work, kim.

one thing MN hasn't converted me into is mooncups

what in God's name are they ?

I don't know anyone that uses them, and have never seen them on sale. They are a MN myth, I am sure of it

I've just remembered the post that made me sign up, funniest thing I'd read in about a zillion years... The one about the taxi queue and how the OP felt families should go first, the scoring system for taxi queues pops into my head every time I'm waiting for one, or a bus, train etc.

Literally every day since I've had a chuckle to self, thanks to MN

Didn't think it had changed me at all. Usually just bowse when I haven't anything better to do.

Yesterday was my birthday and nephew's DW sent me a birthday message via facebook. (I had seen them the day before and they gave me a lovely gift).

I sent back a message.

"Thankyou, Having a lovely lunch with your MIL"

yeah, that was a good 'un

Yes, I was joking.
For me MN is somewhere you can find someone to talk about anything. And at a pace where you can read when the kids are in bed rather than running riot while you are trying to chat about things with friends IRL.
Again, I clearly need to get out more.
I love the variety of topics too. No one else I know in my close friends has lost their mother and I am the only single mum in our group. It is lovely to come on here and get advice on anything and feel I can keep up sometimes feels like everyone else's parents are constantly on hand to babysit/buy clothes/give advice on sleeping etc I turn to MN instead as I don't have that resource, so I understand your post about closest thing to sisters :)

Oh god, I remember one of the first threads I read was about a woman who removed her own piles. That was a baptism of fire

aw, I don't have my mum either (for different reasons), ATOI

MN is great for that

MN is definitely like having loads of virtual sisters.

Always there for you when you need it but by god, if you rub them the wrong way they can give it back

As SundaeGirl said- "MN feels like the closest thing to having a sister, which is what in RL I'd really love to have."
This is exactly how I feel too. I sometimes feel I spend too long on MN, but actually, the amount I have learnt, been supported and advised on, given advice, laughed, cried, etc has truly enriched my life in a different way to the RL friends I have.

I have learnt to not be so tolerant of certain people's selfish behaviour in RL but it has also given me a lot more understanding and awareness of how tough life can be for others.

mn can be v humbling,the things people share,stuff they've experienced.sad too
trick imo is use it in a way that works, and be online savvy
I post and participate in way that suits me. it's a whatever floats yer boat site

MrsDV - I know your circumstances and history (well some of it). You are one of the few posters I remember. I totally empathise with your supermarket story - that pretty much sums up the way I've changed since being on here. I call out prejudice and intolerance way more - but I hope in a measured, calm, adult way.

hello proudnscary,
I don't post at all, because on the boards I frequent (primary education and style & beauty), I have a lot to learn and little to contribute.
Yesterday, I googled "mumsnet violin for beginners" and the hits from this search was going to form the basis of my decisions about which violin to get my little girl, whether to get it and when to get it.
I will speak to the music teacher too, but this is how serious I take the views of the mums here!
Simple and straight to the point real life advice from people who have been there.
With a few controverisal outliers who can usually be spotted from afar and ignored.
There are so many kind people here who give so much of their time.
I have been educated and amused in equal measure, and I thank the thousands who spend thier time and make these boards what they are to the masses of "invincible" women (and men).
Back to lurking!

Oh don't go back to lurking - join in, it will make your experience even more valuable, inner...and like fuck have you 'little to contribute'!

I think it must have done. Last week I chased a taxi up a street after he'd made an illegal left turn through a set of traffic lights, narrowly missing a toddler (mine), rapped on his window and gave him a very sound talking to.

Not sure I'd have done such a thing before, I was very much a mind yer own beeswax kind of a gal. I think getting so riled reading thread after thread of wankerish behaviour had my goat so gotten that it didn't take much to snap.

Bloody glad I did too. Woe betide the next homicidal numpty to cross my path...

inter maybe a post a day will keep ProudandScary at bay
I keep on thinking Proud's MN name sounds like a really large fart and Inter your's sounds like a little cocktail fart trying to be clenched in by buttocks.
I digress. It's past my bed time. Night.

Oh, this thread's a relief It's reminded me of my incredulous joy when I discovered an oasis of women who are even more bolshy outspoken, nitpicking perceptive and lefty socially aware than I considered myself to be. And reassured me that I'm not the only one sacrificing useful (but far less interesting) real-life time to Mumsnet!

From the first page: more tolerant, less judgey, more arsey with intolerant judgey people in rl - yep! I was trying to think of a better way to say "more intolerant of intolerance" and that's it.

Plus what MmeOvary said :) Not sure I could have done without the therapy, but Mumsnet added a helluva lot of power. You're all fantastic!

Just thought I'd add.

I had a thread on here several months ago in which I (under a namechange) discussed a really serious family problem.

The verdict was unanimous.

Yes there were some posts that were a bit, um, less helpful - I too don't believe everything I read written by strangers on a screen.

But I had some PMs and some very open responses which made it very clear in my mind.

I made a huge lifechanging decision about something I couldn't discuss in RL for a number of reasons.

I have you ladies to thank everyday that my life is better because of it.

Hmm.....well, I probably would have done a whole lot of changing anyhow, being what, 17 when I joined properly. I think probably what changed me the most and bumped my confidence, built me up a bit was my lovely sixth form, which was such a huge change from my secondary school (hellhole). I can talk to my parents about whatever I want the same way I talk on MN. Honestly, when I was 13 I joined an internet forum and was amazed at how seriously people took me on there, and liked me, and so realised I couldn't post ridiculous things because people were actually reading them- so I expect if I hadn't had that, MN would have been the training ground instead. The forum kind of died, so I guess I kind of "graduated" to here, where there are 100x more people and you're most of you older than me. I still do post ridiculous stuff, specially in the feminist board at first (people coming down on me like a ton of bricks because I dared suggest that misandry was alive and kicking).....but I think it's getting a leetle scarcer sooo.....thanks MN.

Oh and I've gone from thinking how lovely Steiner schools sound to developing a kind of morbid fascination with them....thanks search function!