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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit caught in the middle of this

27 replies

ClippedPhoenix · 05/10/2012 18:26

A homework question here.

I make sure DS (year 10) always does his homework. I check his planner, tick it off and sign it. This is part of my contract with the school.

DS has just been sent a detention letter for not doing a particular piece of homework, he has done it but hasn't handed it in due to the teacher not asking for it.

Up until now I have said to DS it's his responsiblity to hand it into the teacher whether it's asked for or not.

He tells me that no-one does that as it's seen as being a sneak, as in it will alert the teacher to ask everyone and he will have the piss taken out of him/won't be very popular for this.

Is it the teachers responsibility to ask for it?

This is not a teacher bashing thread by the way, I admire them for teaching in secondary schools these days.

OP posts:
wannabedomesticgoddess · 05/10/2012 18:30

I dont get why he has detention if he did it?

When the teacher asked for it why didnt he hand it in?

WearingGreen · 05/10/2012 18:30

Did the whole class get detention?

Original poster
ClippedPhoenix · 05/10/2012 18:32

the teacher didn't ask for it. It's still in his homework folder.

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hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 05/10/2012 18:32

I'd stay out of it. You kept your side of the homework deal, let him deal with the rest.

sookiesookie · 05/10/2012 18:33

Think your as is stretching the truth, unless the whole class got detention.

Original poster
ClippedPhoenix · 05/10/2012 18:33

I dont know whether the whole class got a detention as they send them by letter.

OP posts:
Original poster
ClippedPhoenix · 05/10/2012 18:34

I make sure he does it the same evening and check he's put it in his folder. He has lots of them still in there Confused

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sookiesookie · 05/10/2012 18:35

Also you need to tell him he needs to do what right (I know easier said than done) or face the consequences.

Brycie · 05/10/2012 18:36

I can believe this. My chidlren regularly did homework that wasn't asked for. Children now have to initiate homework handing in and get detention if they don't? Where is the motivatation that comes from routine. How hard is it to say - homework books on the corner of my desk on the way out of class please. If what you are saying is true I would support him, even at Y10. Stupid rule.

Annunziata · 05/10/2012 18:36

I don't understand. Why would the teacher give him detention instead of saying 'have you got your homework?'

wannabedomesticgoddess · 05/10/2012 18:40

Yes. I am confused too.

Why would the teacher give detention for not doing homework when s/he doesnt actually know if he did it or not?

Think you need to ask for clarification on this one.

Original poster
ClippedPhoenix · 05/10/2012 18:41

Annun - I don't undertand this either but I promise you he did it, I saw him with my own eyes! This happened a lot last year.

I've just counted 6 unasked for homeworks in his folder from the last two weeks.

What i really need to know i guess is who's responsibility is it, the teachers to ask?

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OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 05/10/2012 18:42

I have exactly this problem with my ds. He does the homework, then it just stays in his folder and nothing gets done with it. If the teacher tells them to hand it in or email it or whatever then he does, but he's not great at taking initiative so if he isn't given a clear instruction, it doesn't happen. It drives me crazy when effort has been made to get homework done on time and then it doesn't even get looked at, it's very unfair on children IMO.

I don't know what you can do tbh. My ds has AS (as do a couple of others in his class) so the SENCO has reminded the teachers that they have to give clear instructions and luckily ds had never been in trouble, but I feel like its only a matter of time.

I think you have to support the school in the detention, but it might be worth emailing his form tutor to explain the misunderstanding if your school has a similar system to ours, while at the same making it clear that you will support the teachers. It might help remind them that they need to specify what they want done with the homework after its finished.

sookiesookie · 05/10/2012 18:43

I would possibly call the school if you think its unfair and are concerned. Don't be surprised if you find out some additional info that ds has 'forgotten'. I know I 'forgot' lots of information when I was that age.

he would be able to tell you if everyone got detention, surely.

Brycie · 05/10/2012 18:43

Yes of course it's the teachers responsibility, at the end of everylesson it's five words: Homework please, on my desk. This is a case of teacher not doing job properly and passing buck to children.

Annunziata · 05/10/2012 18:43

If he hasn't handed in 6 pieces of homework I am not surprised he has detention!

But I don't understand why the teacher would not ask for it. Is there a drop box?

sookiesookie · 05/10/2012 18:45

What i really need to know i guess is who's responsibility is it, the teachers to ask? at 14 I would say its his.
Yes the teacher should ask, but he knows it needs handing in.

Original poster
ClippedPhoenix · 05/10/2012 18:45

No annun, these are homeworks from different lessons that haven't been asked for.

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Brycie · 05/10/2012 18:46

How on earth are the pupils supposed to second guess their teacher? If the teacher had said (obviously this hasn't happened) at the beginnign of term: I will NEVER ask for homework, I want you to put it in my pigeonhole (or whatever) every Tuesday morning - well that's fine. That can work. But just leaving the children to guess what to do is stupid.

sookiesookie · 05/10/2012 18:46

If its different lessons, perhaps its your as just not handing it rather than 6 different teachers not asking for it.

Annunziata · 05/10/2012 18:47

That is even more confusing then. Surely every teacher in the school can't not be asking for homework?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 05/10/2012 18:47

I think it's the teachers responsibility to say what they want done with the homework, because they often want it in different ways. Sometimes they have to hand it in in class, sometimes they have to put it in their pigeon hole, sometimes it has to be emailed, sometimes they look at it in class.

If there isn't a regular routine, then it is the teachers job to ask IMO.

The only other thing you could do is encourage him to check with friends if he isn't sure. I try to get ds to do this, sometimes it works but not always.

Or email the teacher to ask, especially as he has so many ignored home works. If the teachers start getting bombarded with emails that might also help to get them to make it clear what they want done.

Sorry for the two mammoth posts, this is a subject that winds me up regularly!

Brycie · 05/10/2012 18:48

Outraged: it is extremely unfair on children, particularly since the answer is so simple and straightforward. "Homework please before you leave." Rocket science it is not. Is the teacher trying to trick the children?

TheProvincialLady · 05/10/2012 18:50

If he has done the homework and is in that particular teacher's lesson, why does he not just hand it in as he leaves? He also needs to learn the important life lesson that you need to do the right thing, and the thing that keeps you out of trouble, even if it means that other people don't like it. Woudl he rather have repeated detentions or risk his classmates being annoyed? It's is choice.

Original poster
ClippedPhoenix · 05/10/2012 18:50

It's a bit of a bugbear for me too as I'm forever hounding him to do the homework and they very rarely ask for it back.

Maybe a polite email is the way to go here then.

I'm not disappearing, off out now but will be back.

Thanks

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