I feel very sad to read that many MNers have had such bad experiences with Drs - i'm glad to say that i've never had problems like that with male GPs or hospital Drs, so there are some decent male Drs around - i was just lucky there i suppose.
My family GP was particularly sensitive to the fact that i had issues with men in my childhood; he would always offer appointments with female Drs, or offer to request a chaperone even if i just needed my stomach pressing.
I used to take the Pill but both male & female GPs only gave out leaflets on Self-Checking for breast lumps - no GP has ever asked to examine my breasts.
I have always kept my bra on when Drs had to listen to my chest when i've had chest infections.
I will say that as a Staff Nurse myself i've had bad experiences (harrassment etc) from a few male nurses & doctors as colleagues - i didn't deal with them very well either.
One Dr in particular made me scared for my safety - he locked me in his house & tried to attack me but i got away. I thought he was a friend & went round for a coffee (literally just that) because he'd said he was depressed. We sat in his lounge & i was wearing loose tunic & trousers, a coat & no make up ffs. I never ever flirted with him.
We talked; he'd been his usual self then it was like he changed into a different person & said i couldn't leave.
He was much taller & i think i only escaped because i'm 2 stone overweight & was weight training, which he didn't know about.
He never drank alcohol.
As soon as i got away he texted to apologise & begged forgiveness - i felt guilty for some stupid reason & never reported him - i wish now that i had.
He's moved on to another part of the country with his wife who has moved here from abroad to join him - i do worry about her.
I only ever saw him being professional towards patients so i hope that remains the case.
The problem is that there is only his word against mine so i couldn't report it now anyway; I fought him off before anything could happen & it was 2 years ago now.
Also there is an anesthetist still at my workplace who pestered & actually tried to assault me when i was younger & i was intimidated by him.
I got the courage to be very clear to him that his behaviour was wrong & he stopped. Now i would report straight away, but again it's too late & i can't remember exactly when the incidents (there were several) happened. I think it may have been 6 years ago but not sure.
However, he seems to behave totally professionally with female patients & always request chaperones.
Other nurses say they've never had problems with him or they actually flirt with him! - i think he felt he could pester me because i'd dated a friend of his.
That's no excuse though.
He seems a lot older & wiser now, i hope that continues.
I've had problems with patients too & have seen other nurses, especially young students, experience the same thing. The clinical leaders just act like it's a normal thing to expect - same with racist patients. But these patients are young to late middle aged men; not elderly men with dementia.
I've often found myself telling patients not to behave inappropriately when it isn't my job.
The main issues around reporting for women seem to be shame, a misplaced sense of guilt, the cleverness of the abusers at making their victims feel guilty; & the fact that some women sadly either tolerate or belittle the behaviour of the abusers; so you feel you won't be believed.
I'm now dieting but will start weight training again so i will still feel strong & not so vulnerable - it's an illusion maybe but it's better than nothing. It's hard to want to be thin when you know how vulnerable it can make you - but i'm trying my best now.
Sorry for the essay.
I could write a lot more but no way could i do that, i'd rather try to pretend earlier stuff didnt happen.