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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed at dr's comment?

106 replies

susiegrapevine · 04/10/2012 19:28

Ok so went for 6 week postnatal check for me and ds2 and the doctor was asking about feeding and I said yes I am breast feeding so she said oh so his poo's will still smell quiet sweet then she said 'when you start mixed feeding then his poo's will smell horrible'!! So I just said back I don't think well be doing that somehow I breast fed ds1 for 18 months.

The point is I never even mentioned any desire to use formula or mix feed. Am annoyed because of the assumtion I will mix feed and because I thought the nhs were supposed to be encouraging breast feeding! I have nothing against anyone who choses to mix feed or formula feed its there choice but I feel my doctor should not be making an asumptions about how I feed my baby!!

OP posts:

Flisspaps · 04/10/2012 19:59

I've never heard weaning referred to as 'mixed feeding' - the only time I've ever heard mixed feeding referred to is on the BF/FF boards as a combination of BF and FF.

I wouldn't get het up about it though.

Pudgy2011 · 04/10/2012 19:59

You are getting your knickers in a twist about something that isn't a knicker twister - who makes you feel like the crazy hippy lady who breast fed and had a home birth? Home births and breastfeeding are completely normal, it's not like you gave birth in a cave!

You need to calm down and stop presuming that people are judging your choices when it's more than likely that nobody cares.

And yes, breastfeeding should be encouraged by the NHS but not to the detriment of those mothers who want to formula feed and find breastfeeding horrendously difficult. Stop getting your back up about nothing, take some rescue remedy and enjoy your baby.

ForFoxsGlacierMints · 04/10/2012 19:59

It sounds a wee bit like your unsure of your own choices. No-one can make you feel like a crazy, hippy, lady except you. Though I may be totally off the mark in which case I think you need a change of doctor, though I think she was just chatting.

catgirl1976 · 04/10/2012 20:00

You can have the now

TheSurgeonsMate · 04/10/2012 20:00

To cheer us all up, here's an example of something annoying:

Dr: "So, with this medication you just blah the bottles to blah blah...."

Me: What do you do if you're bf?
Dr: "I don't know, it doesn't say"

Tuttutitlookslikerain · 04/10/2012 20:01

What Catgirl said.

It pisses me off that some people presume those who ff aren't coping, or feel guilty.

Tuttutitlookslikerain · 04/10/2012 20:03

Actually I am not surprised your friends who ff feel guilty with you around TBH!

BillyBollyBandy · 04/10/2012 20:04

Trust me the NHS do encourage bf'ing, they really do. Which is why I had no idea how to make up a bottle when dd1 was 2 weeks old.

Most women ff. Therefore the hv/doctor/whoever is most used to dealing with babies that are ff. Therefore it would be an easy mistake to make.

I assume you do not find ff'ing offensive, so why would you be offended that someone thought that was what you did?

bumperella · 04/10/2012 20:05

BF IS encouraged by NHS!!! How can you possibly say anything else?? The sheer amount of BF training, the advertising, and the refusal to give information about FF alone should tell you that!!!!

GP saying "ooh, that is a long time" isn't the same as her saying "you freak, whats wrong with you" it was likely her trying to be freindly! Go to another GP if you don't gel with the one you've got.

As to suggesting that using formula is inevitable becuase you "won't cope" - I just don't think that was what she was saying! Surely just a lighthearted comment saying that FF babies poo smells worse than BF baby poo? (which it does). LOADS of people use formula occasionally, esp by 5/6 mnths +, not because they "can't cope" but becuase of worries over iron intake, becuase it's fecking hard to express milk and you've to go to work, becuase having the occasional night off with a babysitter is nice, because they want another glass of champagne at mates wedding, whatever.

Original poster

susiegrapevine · 04/10/2012 20:06

The doc had no reason to even mention mixed feeding and should not assume and I meant some people who are not coping with bf will turn to ff not just not coping in general sorry I will chose my words more carefully next time.

And my attitude to ff is I don't know how anyone copes with that tbh all that seterlising and make up bottles and having baby cry while they wait for you to warm the milk I could not cope with that 1 bit having to actually get up in the night and not just grab baby and feed em in bed. I really don't know how you all do it.

Sorry if I offended anyone :(

OP posts:

diddlediddledumpling · 04/10/2012 20:06

Maybe you think you're that hippy lady, there's certainly nothing in what the dr said that was implying anything like that. If what she said is an example of how you're "always made to feel like that hippy lady "then you 'll hear it in almost anything.

At my 6 week check in Feb if this year, when I presented a handful of ailments, I was told that the check was really to look for signs of PND.
He didn't want to know about my varicose veins

Are you maybe a bit on the edge? If so, telling you not to be so sensitive is easier said than done. But do listen to what people are saying here, it's good to get some perspective.

TheSurgeonsMate · 04/10/2012 20:07

An assumption about mixed feeding would be quite an assumption, wouldn't it? I think I know one person who made any significant progress as a mixed feeder.

edwinbear · 04/10/2012 20:07

YABU the Dr was just making polite conversation, it was an off the cuff remark and not worth expending energy over.

At my 6 week check the Dr said she didn't need to discuss contraception with me as dd was ebf and that was fine as a method of contraception - that was annoying, but hey ho, I just smiled and went on my merry way.

marshmallowpies · 04/10/2012 20:10

My dd is mixed formula & BF and no solids yet, her poo is still very yellow and not (very) stinky. So I am sure the GP was referring to weaning.

TheSurgeonsMate · 04/10/2012 20:12

Gosh, edwin, that's quite annoying!

OP, I can't help feeling you haven't used mumsnet a lot! You were annoyed, and the idea is that you can check your reaction to see if it was an overreaction by testing it against the views of a squliion folks with a breadth of experience. Sometimes you get a range of responses, sometimes not so much.

And we're aware of the mroe common bf/ff issues. You can take that as read.

bumperella · 04/10/2012 20:15

At 6-wk checks they're wanting to chack that YOU are doing OK.
I really do think the GP was just trying to make a connection with you, and probably didn't want to go down the route of "oh, well done BF, it really is best you know" in case you were having a bumpy ride with it - the 6-wk check is for YOU not for the baby. Hence they want to engage you in a bit of chit-chat (a) so you're more likely to tell them if you're depresssed, and (b) so tehy're more likely to notice if you're struggling.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 04/10/2012 20:15

Yes she did have a reason to mention mixed feeding. A lot of people do it. A lot of people also make polite conversation.

I really am failing to see why its so offensive to you. Its great that you can ebf. But a mention of mixed feeding is hardly cause for this much worry.

Also, just because you didnt need to top up feeds with your first doesnt mean you wont have to with this one....

Bigwheel · 04/10/2012 20:18

I agree with you op, I would have been annoyed as well.

monkeysbignuts · 04/10/2012 20:19

op hide the thread, you have just had a baby and although I think you were over reacting you don't need to be bombarded by the old bf v ff debate x

MerylStrop · 04/10/2012 20:20

You are being a bit touchy

But your baby's only wee so that's allowed.

Tangointhenight · 04/10/2012 20:20

Home birth and breastfeeding????

Sorry I've run out of 'well done' stickers [erm]

Honestly it's stealth boasts like this what do make my toes curl

mellen · 04/10/2012 20:21

It sounds like a chatty comment. Is it possible that the GP could have a young baby and be talking from experience? The smell of the poo wouldn't be likely to be the first thing that you mentioned if you hadn't experienced it.

catgirl1976 · 04/10/2012 20:22

Did you eat the placenta?

You're not a proper crazy hippy lady unless you did that.

Pandemoniaa · 04/10/2012 20:23

I was only really annoyed cos i thought breast feeding should be encouraged by the nhs and the assumption was made in my eyes that at some point I won't cope and will have to use formula.

Really? I think you are looking to take offence where none was intended, tbh. I'd have assumed mixed feeding was weaning onto solid food. Not using formula, let alone that you'd be using formula because you couldn't cope with bf!

If you don't get on with your doctor then consider changing. But this most recent exchange sounds like drastic overthinking and wild assumption on your part.

monkeysbignuts · 04/10/2012 20:24

my gp told me "its about time you give up breast feeding" when my son was 11 months old Now that is a comment to be offended by lol

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