To think that a school cannot impose restrictions on what parents can do during the school day?

[crosstraineraddict]

A friend of mine was telling me about something that has happened at the school where her DCs go. Several times in the past few months, parents have gone out for the day to places over an hour away, to meet friends or go shopping or whatever, and their child has been ill at school, so they've been called and been over an hour getting to the school to pick up their child.

The parents have all apparently had a letter now stating that a parent must be within half an hour of the school at all times during the school day, and that they recommend that at least one parent works locally!

Am I alone in thinking this is bonkers and unfair, not to mention dictatorial!

I haven't put an extra contact on DD2's school form, if they can't get Me or DH who'll take about an hour and a half, school will have to manage.

My parents live too far off and DH's are dead-sorry about that.

I'm not putting the family friend I used to, she now has 4 DCs at two different schools and a job. likewise I can't see any of the other mum's being able to rush of from work or whatever they are doing to chase my DCs.

In any case in ten years of school only once have I had a problem and that was of schools making, they cancelled an after school club with bugger all notice when no way could I get back by 3.30.

Fortunately being the end of school it was relatively easy to find a house she could go to.

When I was at school I was sent home twice with tonsillitis, I don't remember if they tried to contact my mother or not (she was a SAHM so presumably contactable, if not immediately) but I do remember walking/getting the bus home. I would have been 8 or so I guess. Doubt they'd do that now!

We have plenty of local emergency contacts now, when dh is a SAHD and we don't really need them, but when we lived in London none of our friends lived locally, and they would have probably been just as unlikely to get to school within an hour or so as dh or I. I can't imagine that we were unusual.

I'm not sure what schools think Social Services will do. I volunteer at a nursery school. A parent turned up to collect a child and they were clearly in no fit state to take the child into their care. SS advised calling the police; who arrived and promptly dealt with the parent. SS turned up at about 8pm by which time the parent had arranged an alternative themselves.

As far as SS were concerned the child was in a place of safety, being cared for. SS are not going to hotfoot it to school by 4pm to take a child whose parents are delayed. They're certainly not going to take a puking child into their care during the school day.

It's a hollow threat.

Calling social services will be in most settings non collection policy. I have never tried it so I don't know what they would do if called, but it's not an empty threat to say they would at least be called for advice. Children will not be considered adequately cared for if all but one member of staff are forced to leave.

I love how people think you can magic these emergency contacts out of nowhere. Of course you can't just get a childminder from a list, they're not going to pick up a random sick child, they have to think of their other mindees. Unless you're lucky enough to have a relative close by who's available and willing to deal with your sick child, then it's going to fall to one of the parents.

Whatever did schools do before mobile phones? Mums may have been more likely to be at home not far away, but they might also have been out shopping and not be contactable. In my day (1980s) there will still some people who didn't even have a home phone. Of course in those days they still had the school nurse.

We haven't put anyone else down for emergency contacts apart from dh and me. There just isn't anyone I could ask to pick up a sick child.

I look forward to the school improving local rural bus services. Round here it takes the CHILDREN over half an hour to get to school. Before I could drive, it took me a minimum of an hour to get to school by public transport if I ever needed to...
Some schools are just ridiculous.

I'm sure my primary school didn't have a school nurse. There was one TA (I don't suppose that's what she was officially called back then) but I think she dealt with poorly children, vomiting kids, kids who'd pee'd themselves etc. This was the 60s, we didn't have a home phone, I'm sure lots of people didn't.

Once the school wanted to contact my mother so they sent my brother home at lunchtime - 1/2 mile walk each way - to get her (that wasn't even an emergency, he'd let slip she was a teacher, they wanted to beg her to come and work for them as soon as I turned 5...can you imagine that now!!)

On the motorway pile up subject, we were looking around schools for our child who will be starting next year. One school specifically mentioned their contingency plans for if our local very-busy-road had an accident which would cause gridlock, which happens at least once a year. It included feeding hungry, tired children tea, games and activities and homework sessions as well as a "snooze" zone.

Madder - yes, I'm not sure it was stated as a contingency plan but my DDs school was used to dealing with the results of M6 blockage. They had an after school club which no doubt helped the logistics- and one of the people who was always there anyway supervising and handing out the sandwiches was the HT. He was a bit of a prat in some ways but I've no doubt he saw himself as being in loco parentis and responsible for the children.

It's a very well talking about contingency plans and other such things, but the practical reality of some people's aren't as simple as 'you just make sure you or someone you trusts can be there'. For significant portions of DS1's life, all his emergency contacts lived hours away (at one point 6-8 hours away in a different country). There was no one else to put down. And the childminder stuff is the sort of poorly thought through nonsense you get on AIBU all the time; how many people can afford to pay a childminder to be on call just in case? They would have to charge, as you'd be taking up a space even though you almost never used it. It's astoundingly easy to be in a situation at work where you can't get away/answer the phone and/or it'll take you more than 30 minutes to get to the school and sometimes there is no backup plan. All the handwringing in in the world isn't going to change that.

It seems sometimes you just can't win: either you work and then people wring their hands at your fecklessness in not being on hand to pick your kid up from school any time there's a sniffle; or you don't work and then you're a feckless benefits scrounger.

In terms of contingency plans, you can't always plan for every eventuality. That's way sometimes companies will declare "Force Majeure", or events totally outwith their control.

As parents, we do what we can, but we also hope that schools (acting in loco parentis) will also use common sense.

Events like a major pile up on the M5, or the 7/7 bombings may justifiably means that a parent is unavoidably detained.

In such cases, if a school can't get hold of alternative emergency contacts, then you would hope that they would contact Social Services, not as a threat but for help. God forbid, the parents might have been in an accident (or worse) and not able to get to school.

The head teacher is plain stupid to think that "making" one parent work within half an hour of the school that that would magically solve everything.

As if anyone is going to change their jobs because the school recommend that one parent works locally.

last year in a storm a tree fell on road near here blocking main road for 24 hours there was a diversion is was 68 miles long ( remote scotland) I would think at least 60 children were trapped at school as school bus could not take them home neither could parents reach them, simialrliy the A82 gets shut off for hours at least 3 times a year because of fatal accidents depending where it is diversions can be 15-80 miles long

I was stuck for 4 hours once only 2 miles from home but police would not let you abandon car and walk as your car would then be blocking the road, your choice was stay put or drive the 50 miles round. In that type of circumstance I would expect school to understand that sometimes despite your best efforts you simply can not get there, the emergency contacts I would have would not have been able to get there for same reason as me
the school is BU majorily so, social services would not be remotely interested in one failure to pickup for a reasonable reason in fact is a reasonable excuse liie fatal accident tree fallen they would not be interested even if it had happenned several times

neither would they be interested in a failutre to pick up in 10-15 minutes when parent was an hour away and left to pick up and arrived an hour later

most of it is empty threats here it takes a social worker 15 mins via switchboard to reach emergency contacts!!!

So what will be the "penalty" for "repeat offenders"?

Expell the child??!!

sounds ridiculous. just go yeah, yeah nod and nod and carry on doing what you are doing.

I'm at home at present, but last year I was working 30 miles away, DP works 15 miles away (but isn't allowed his mobile in the office). My emergency contacts were my parents and MIL. My friends all work so can't put them down.

MIL is no longer an emergency contact, and while I'm at home, I'm not always contactable as I'm ferrying MIL to various hospital appointments regarding her cancer (hence why she's no longer on the list). The hospital is 15 miles away - no chance of making it to school in half an hour.

Dad drives, mum can't. If dad is not there, school would just have to wait for either DP or me. If dad is there, he is disabled and can take 10 mins to get to his car, let alone get to school.

So far, I've not had a problem. I don't send in sick children, but there have been times when they have once or twice become ill during the day and I don't have a crystal ball.

No parent can plan for every eventuality, I don't believe there's a bullet-proof plan.

Well I work in SS and I can JUST imagine the faces of our Social Workers if we got a call from a school regarding a child not being picked up within an hour. :o

The convo would go like this" So has mum/dad refused to pick up child or cannot be contacted"?

"Er no, the parents are still half an hour away, but we need them picked up within an hour,school policy"

"this is not child protection, so fuck off, wait till the parent gets there then, as they will only be another half an hour.Good day!

After all, assuming that SS would come away from dealing with abused and neglected kids that actually need help, which they wouldn't, cos they dont provide a bloody nanny service either, the kid would be made to sit in a SS office. :o

Some of these posts are getting ridiculous now. Of course schools have plans for real emergencies roads/weather etc and in difficult situations eg very ill parents would be more than happy to help out. However it seems to be every day ill children being sent to school as parents are working.
As school secretary I end up looking after them and doing office work in my own time. Last week it was 15 hours unpaid overtime, so I feel I am subsidising working parents. Is that fair?

is there no welfare person or medical room so that the child may sit in there for a space of time.

The only time that I ever heard of anything like this was when a child at school had SN - of a more serious level and the parent was supposed to always be within an hour of getting to her child.

It's ridiculous to dictate what parents get up to during the school day. It might be wise to advise parents to put someone local down on their contacts form, if there is anyone willing and available.

DS goes to school over half an hour drive from our house. So not sure how that would work.

Fairyliz - no that's not fair. But that's not going to be addressed by a dictat from the headteacher that a parent should always be within half an hour of the school .

There does need to be common sense though. And that was not exhibited by the school that rang the hospital switch board every 5 minutes during the middle of a major incident and was actually getting in the way of the hospital dealing with the incident (as an example a MNer gave earlier).

And some people have said that yuo should plan for every contingency. So others have pointed why that might not always help.

But I do agree: if a child is genuinely ill, they should not be sent in to school. You should make sure that your contact details are always up to date and do your best to have alternate contacts, should you not be available.

It is basic courtesy.

I don't see why everyone is getting so worked up. The head might as well as said all parents must unicycle to school juggling three toddlers and a orange. It's as meaningless.

Susanne thanks for confirming our suspicions that SS would be baffled by a call on this subject!