To think that a school cannot impose restrictions on what parents can do during the school day?

[crosstraineraddict]

A friend of mine was telling me about something that has happened at the school where her DCs go. Several times in the past few months, parents have gone out for the day to places over an hour away, to meet friends or go shopping or whatever, and their child has been ill at school, so they've been called and been over an hour getting to the school to pick up their child.

The parents have all apparently had a letter now stating that a parent must be within half an hour of the school at all times during the school day, and that they recommend that at least one parent works locally!

Am I alone in thinking this is bonkers and unfair, not to mention dictatorial!

I'm a foster cater and if I can't collect before the end of the school day they would call SS.

This would apply even if she was sick, they would keep her until at the end of the school day at school.

They have a sick room, it's what it's for. Neither dh (teacher) nor I can leave work.

Also, all my friends that have DC's at this school ALSO live more than a 30min bus journey from the school, and the closest family member lives a 1hr+ commute away too.

I have two emergency contacts down with the school, but they would probably NOT get there before me, unless I was in hospital. That's life. .

I don't send my DC's in when I know they are ill, but I don't own a crystal ball. I got moaned at by the school when I was in a jobcentre appointment so had to turn my phone off, my first emergency contact had the appointment after me (!) and my second emergency contact was on holiday. WTF else are you meant to do?!

IIRC

school have 4 numbers for DS.
Me - home and mobile
DS land line at work
local emergency contact ( parent with a child in same class)
Not local emergency contact. Lives some miles away but knows our kid, would be able to have him overnight in an emergency also knows who else in our family should take over should DH and I both be out of the picture due to disaster.

I am a single parent & i work. I also have a few emergency numbers. One lives literally next door to the school but the school can not expect everyone to stay within an hour of the school everyday just incase the child is ill. Thats crazy & unworkable.

Oh Goodie! does this mean I get to hang out on school trips which are an hour away from my home town? do you think I should stay at the same hostel or a different one for trips abroad?

on a serious note, Dh works away during the week and I am 45 mins away on a good day, and sometime I could be further afield, I have a mobile but can't always use it for instance next or so month I will be at sea wearing a dry suit, I don't think they have handy pockets for a mobile even if I could hear it above the engine noise!

I have 3 back up numbers 2 work within a few hundred yards of the School, until this week one was on mat leave...so at home over a hour away and now has 2 DC of her own to worry about, the other has 4 children at the same school, only unfortunately she could be busy...Sorry Mrs Smith could you wait for your Chemo? it's just my friends DC has a bit of a headache! the third is still on mat leave and within 1 1/2 miles, unfortunately (not for her) she just had twins and a Ds who whilst he would be at school, doesn't help the car seat situation as I have dt's so if I couldn't make it to the school close to the end of school she would not be able to help.

What I do, do is on days I will be out of county or touch is pop a note into the school alerting them to it and giving extra contact of my Admin, if out of touch if out of county the switch number of the place I am at and the name of the chair/organiser of the meeting,and phone on vibrate.
at the end of the new contacts letter, I then write a potted up to date med history, any meds they might be taking and state and sign that I give permission for the school to administer any medication they feel appropriate and give consent for any medical intervention a medical doctor or registered nurse may advise, I also check with friend with Dc at same school that if I am late she can pick up from after school club, as I know that I signed something 2 years ago but it I hope gives the school confidence if something did go wrong that I would not become a nightmare over it, to be fair the chance is very small but I have dealt with a lifetime of small chances being a nurse so I go down the line of cover all bases
However I can only say I have totally the opposite in Dc school and their nursery Only ever called twice by nursery once Ds need a stitch and once for chicken pox, both reasonable, school phoned me last week to tell me Ds2 had a rash, when I started to think...what the Jeff do I do about this clinic! she must have heard my panic and said "Oh don't worry he is fine, we just thought we should tell you as you don't pick up, we where worried in case you wondered why we didn't notice it" and the after school head has given me her mobile number in case I get caught in traffic when collecting them, as she knows I work so far away, fortunately up to press it has never happened but I feel better that if it ever did she would be aware.

What a timely post OP...

Our Playground is currently atwitter regarding two letters, in two days, regarding supposed parental transgressions. (They'll be bringing the belt back for us old-timers I'm telling you). As the second letter managed to cover 5 separate topics, we are all now playing the 'me, not me, could be me, definitely NOT me' ticking off the list game.

At the end of letter 1 it was remarked that, due to a reaction (Teacher's; unavoidable daily product; NOT life threatening) we were asked to 'please alert us to any reactions/allergies that your child may have' - I am tempted to reply, 'My child is allergic to bullshit'.

Disclaimer I am (personally) aware of severe nut allergies etc - no allergy bashing here.

I think that the Head could have worded the letter better. However, as another poster has pointed out, state schools don't have nurses, are generally not allowed to administer calpol etc and have nobody to look after sick children.

What do you expect the school to do with a puking kid or a kid which feels really unwell?

In our school they will be put on a bench in the playground if puking or told to wait in the hallway if they feel ill. The secretary will now and then try to have a look and chase the parents.

Parents at our school need to be able to have their child collected within one hour. If they are not able to arrange this three times in a certain time period then Social Services is notified.

It is absolutely understandable that parents work, it is also understood that schools are there to teach children and that parents have a duty to look after their own children and make appropriate arrangements where necessary no matter how inconvenient this may be at times.

Dikker what arrangements do those parents make and what do social services do if they are called?

Parents are expected in these circumstances to make sure that their child is being collected. By whom, is up to the parent.

I am not involved in any referrals/liaisons with social services as this is done by the Safeguarding Officer (which is the Head Teacher). However, since Social Services got involved this specific child has been collected when requested by the school. So something clearly was done one way or another.

Gosh, I can see SS being happy to have that added to their jobs list.

In any case unless a child has serious health issues, three times in any reasonable time frame is unlikely.

Can't bear schools using social services as a stick to beat hardworking parents with. There will always be instances when parents and their emergency contacts may be unable to collect in an hour. It's naïve to think otherwise.

Am so glad my DC no longer attend a school where such threats are considered acceptable by the middle class 2 parent families in charge.

I am a single parent who works full time and I have been working in New York before now, whilst my kids have been at school to be picked up by my au pair . At least their school, partly boarding, has a matron and a sick bay.

WasLost - other allergies can be JUST as life threatening as nut allergies.

My DS3 is allergic to Cow's Milk Protein, Soy and nuts. He is FAR more allergic to Cow's Milk Protein than he is to nuts, he gets rashes and hives from his nut allergy, he goes into full blown anaphylaxis from even the tiniest traces of Cow's Milk Protein.

I WISH people would stop peddling the theory that nut allergies are more dangerous than other allergies. Because that just ISN'T true. Someone can have their life threatened by their Dairy allergy just as much as another person can be by their nut allergy.

That sort of comment makes me realise JUST how hard it is going to be to keep my DS3 safe when he starts pre-school or Reception.

People have no qualms about a nut-free school, but even when faced with incontrovertible evidence that my DS3's CMP allergy is just as severe, I'll bet they would kick up a stink about a CMP free school.

So there was a case in your school where a sick child wasn't collected within an hour three times, is that what you mean?

Yes as childminder of course I had a back up plan for my own children.

Every parent should,, me and my dh work full time like everyone else, afraid if you have kids you have to accommodate for emergencies.

When my dd was badly injured I had to change my whole career, that's life.. If you have kids they are your responsibility,at pik up time not the school, not the cm, not the nursery but yours....

I find it difficult to understand on what grounds social services would get involved if it was as simple as not picking up within an hour three times. Neglect? Abandonment? Abuse? Doesnt seem like any of those.

Thebody what was your bulletproof backup plan? I'm genuinely interested as I'm aware mine is patched together as detailed and would be happy to explore other options.

Hi bullet, my first call was me,, not dh as he always worked abroad so not easy.

So discounting him my second was my mom, third , fourth and fifth my friends who had all agreed to be called In emergencies as i had for their kids.

I do totally understand that In grave life threatening emergencies sometimes protocol doesn't work, that's why perhaps I see the teachers and the parents view.

CouthyMowWearingOrange

A certain brand of toothpaste.

NOT food - nuts/dairy et al, I had hoped my comments and disclaimer pointed to the fact that this was a (imho) spurious addendum by the writer of the school letters at justifying their right to mount their high, high horse at other minor (uniform etc) infractions by parents tiny children.

Apologies if you believed I was dismissing serious allergic reactions in children as minor. (Dairy is my no-go too - mild but life-long allergies).

But thebody didn't your friends have DCs that they wouldn't want infected with whatever the poorly child had, and vice versa for you (even more as you had mindees as well)?

I agree a late pickup is potentially easier to cover as long as all your options aren't also the other side of a serious local traffic incident.

Doctrine, to just add , dd was badly injured in a school trip coach crash in France in feb this year.

I was the parent contact and knew nothing until a mom called me at 8am to say the girls coach had crashed. My dd was on it.

4 hours later we heard that she was alive. Via face book...

Don't want to hijack thread but its viital that parents understand the need to have a back up plan, numbers, email addresses even face book as that is now we communicate.

So sorry that happened thebody

Doctrine, of course as a parent you keep a child safe if they are in your care..I had one cuddled up on our sofa as m was giving birth( not in same room thankfully however we had no insurance for him or overnight care agreement!!! That's life now isn't it and sad.)

Think we agree doctrine, we all act as parents and hope for best!!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch might lives near me, I can tell just from their post

Beyond crap isn't it? A long, often essential, trip for essentials/appointment? (unavailable locally) has you sweating childcare bullets when their/my road can affected for hours/overnight by a traffic accident.