To think children shouldn't be allowed to scribble on their toys?

[tryingtoleave]

Ds (6) has a Melissa and Doug wooden castle, that I gave him for his birthday a couple of months ago. I found him writing all over it with a permanent pen. He had written 'knights' and 'queen' and king, and also put lots of other scribbles on it. I was furious and told him off. He said 'but dad said it was ok and helped me'. I didn't believe him but dh confirmed it was true. I apologized to ds but reiterated to him that 'we only draw on paper' and never with a permanent pen.

Anyway, dh said he couldn't see anything wrong with it at the time, he kind of sees where I'm coming from now but that ds was being creative and he thinks it was not so bad. He says this is just a 'parenting difference' between us. He also thinks that the castle is not ruined, as I think it is. I think dcs prefer toys that actually look nice, and I was hoping this castle would be around for a while and be handed on to dd. It cost $100 .

Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable or crazy, as dh is suggesting...

I personally feel that writing on toys is ruining them and don't condone it. They can write on paper etc. if they want to label things, they can do it on paper and then stick the labels on with blue tack!

Annie am laughing at the bags of clothes covered in marker! Very strange! Parents of child said they would pay for repair and never did. I think they couldnt understand why I was upset about it

Not sure if it's been mentioned already but "magic eraser" gets most marks off!

JML product which was recently on sale in sainsburys

Personally, I think it's destructive and I would be very cross.
And toys can be well played with and enjoyed without being defaced.

"In my mind it goes in the same category as parents who only let their children play with 1 colour of play doh at a time because they don't want the colours getting mixed up."

I clearly need to remove the stick from my arse!

Drawing on a toy doesn't destroy it

If something belongs to DS he can decorate it anyway he likes, after all, he sees me doing it all the time with my furniture and house.

DS has a lovely wooden toy box that I painted white for him, and then gave him sharpie pens to draw and doodle all over when he was 6. It looks amazing actually, all covered in childish drawings in bright felt tips on a white background.

His computer and DS are covered in stickers. Not to my liking but his choice, When he tires of them I will helpp him clean them off. Equally I will repaint his toy box when he is tired of the drawings on it.

Oh and we once had an old banger of a car that DS and I spent ages painting with cool pictures.

DS has been known to play the 'smashing up cars' game, where he drops big rocks from a great height onto his toy cars, to smash them. He only chooses the cheap toy cars with wheels missing to do this It's part of his game. His choice. If he runs out of cars to play with he'll soon learn to look after them better.

There seem to be an awful lot of absolutes being assumed. Parents who only let their children play with one colour of playdoh, is not the only alternative to mixing all the playdoh together in a big brown squoosh.

It's fun to mix the play doh altogether, but then you might want to use a particular colour too, - so have some you squish together, and keep a bit aside for using as separate colours.

I think playing as well as being fun teaches children Other Useful Things, along the way - making choices, problem solving, thinking about future uses of things and the consequences of making permanent changes.

Again - the alternative to deliberately breaking or defacing something isn't keeping it in the corner like a museum piece, you can play with a toy and it can be loved and used and worn out, without drawing all over it.

The point is, there was an adult there (OP's DH) who could have pointed out the blue tack alternative to drawing with permanent marker, which the little boy might have liked better, but that adult didn't offer that guidance.

yanbu

Totally agree with OMDB (providing she is not taking me camping .

The kids are free to decorate their own stuff as they wish, they are not allowed to decorate my stuff and this incudes walls etc, I don't think this is a difficult distinction for the average child.

We used to use lynx (deodrant spray) to get permanent marker off the whiteboard. I wouldn't be with pleased with DS (2) drawing on toys in the house but I let him go to town in the garden/deck/ garden ornaments/ outdoor toys with pavement chalks and washable paints.

Creative but nothing gets ruined.

I must say, I have never been in anyone's house and seen toys scribbled on so I think it must be more unusual than this thread suggests. I think if I let dcs loose to drawon all their toys the result would be very disturbing - like being in A Beautiful Mind. I remember when I was a child some of my friends would cut their barbie's hair, but because I only ever had about two barbies I never did that.

Ds's creativity is not stifled at all. Paper, pencils etc are all in easy reach of the dcs. He's busy at the moment making ninja collages, where he draws Lego ninjas then photographs his real ninjas and their weapons, prints them out and sticks them on to his picture. I'm very pleased and supportive of that - he's using my phone to take pics and I've been helping with the printing. I really don't think creativity needs to involve drawing on toys.