To think that the bullying culture on MN can be a bit much....

[tjah04]

Having been a member of MN since 2003 I have seen and read some disgusting comments from other members particuarly on this board.

I am starting to think that some of these people must be very sad and insecure.

Some of the names that are called are disgusting and I am sure that these people would never go up to someone in RL and call them that.

And do not get me started on the "I am better than you because I can spell" attitude which seems to be the final insult if all else fails.

Other comments include

"troll" "Oh not another thread" etc.

It is cyber bullying at the end of the day and as mothers shouldn't we all just grow up a bit? The MN team do a great job of deleting such posts but often the OP has seen it and the damage is already done.

"morphed"

Thinks that's right now, can't be arsed to spell check though

YANBU. I was so appalled at the nasty vindictiveness being directed at a poster recently that I complained to HQ. It's probably only a handful of people but there are definitely some vile posters with serious chips on their shoulders who post on here. I post on another forum and those posters would have been banned ages ago.
I also hate when someone is called on their nasty vicious posts and just shrugs it off as 'well, what can you expect on AIBU', usually backed up by a few of their cheerleaders.

Also, I agree that some people are just deliberately trying to trivialise this thread and make the OP feel silly.

I disagree that there's a bullying culture all over MN, OP. AIBU can be unpleasant sometimes, but if you feel attacked, just report it. Silliness doesn't equate to pack bullying btw, it's generally down to people sensing the way the thread could go, and deciding that it would be kinder on the OP to not go down that route.

In fact, I disagree with the use of the word 'bullying' in this context full-stop.

And a conversation moving on, evolving and becoming about something else look even Olivia joined in is normal. So what if people end up talking about paint and illing? It's not disrespectful to the OP! It's just a normal part of engaging with other people.

BTW - Tom Yum Gai soup (Nigel Slater' recipe) is awesome for colds and viral shit. My DH loves to make it as it contains lots of chillies and chopping them is MEN'S WORK doncha know . Especially when he forgets that he's been chopping them and picks his nose or has a crafty wank.

I know from being on the receiving end that it certainly feels like bullying when several posters get on the band wagon and start being unnecessarily critical and at times downright nasty. They seem to think they know everything about you from one or two posts/ops, and they pull you apart.

I also know that it is easy to post something, thinking you are putting your point across and people either misunderstand your real meaning or twist it around to sound like you are saying something completely different, or focus in on one irrelevant point.

At times it almost seems like they assume you are a caricature baddy from their own life experience, and they throw all their baggage at you instead of the real culprit.

To be honest, I don't think anyone who had been properly bullied would think anything that happens on mumsnet comes anywhere close.

But I've rarely see a thread go so completely off topic. I agree sometimes you can see a thread is going to get nasty, at which point you can either wade in and try and defend the OP or just go 'uh oh' and keep well out of it.

But, that's just my opinion and maybe some of the paint posters were genuinely trying to tactfully change a subject that they could see was going to get messy.

Exactly, seeker. I was bullied at school. Nothing I've seen on MN compares to what happened there.

It actually feels like people are minimising what happened to me and countless others when they use the word to describe events on mumsnet.

Internet bullying does happen, and it's horrific, but I've never seen anything like real bullying here.

Seeker

I was badly bullied once by a manager who was a bit mentally unbalanced and it was horrific.

But I would still class some (just some) of the stuff on here as bullying. Some of it, of course, is just ignorant people who confuse witty repartee with downright rudeness but a handful of posters know just what they're doing and are plain nasty.

I was bullied at school.

I don't think tact was on the F&B brigade's minds at all!

I agree with you Justfloating.

seeker,if 40 people piled in on here and started to post abuse at you,you would feel something.Wouldnt you?
I realise you can take a whole lot of abuse more that most people,but you would feel something surely?
And that feeling would be a real feeling.

oh have you all gone back to bullying?

Let's face it Hully, paint colours was getting a bit yawnsome

Should bullying be treated the same as troll hunting?

For example, if someone thinks someone is bullying someone else, they should report it to MNHQ who can investigate but they shouldn't post "I think you're a bully!" and they shouldn't be allowed to start threads accusing people of bullying (in the same way that posters aren't allowed to troll hunt on the boards or start troll hunting threads)

What do we think?

Sorry, that first line should read:

"Should bully hunting be treated the same as troll hunting?"

I liked paint colours.

I am horribly confused by all the -lly words

I mean -ll words

I don't know.

I get your point but my preference would be that PEOPLE STOP BLOODY MOANING

Why do you see this as moaning? If people have been hurt by certain posters crappy self-entitled nastiness, it's nice to see that others feel the same way.

That would be my preference.

Or alternatively moan at the time it's actually happening rather than starting another thread about it?

Just pass these threads by then

What self entitled nastiness?

I must have missed that part amongst all the ludicrous paint colours.