Please tell me I'm being unreasonable

[mollysmum82]

Weird things keep happening to me and I know I'm being ridiculous, it would just be nice to have some sense shaken into me!

I am a catholic but I'm considering a cofe school. The reasons are

1.its a lovely lovely school with fab head, great facilities, nice feel to it etc

1. It has a Christian feel to it in terms of the 'be kind to others' ethos... But

1. Doesn't have the same 'strictness' as a catholic school in terms of the child having to attend mass, do the sacraments. It's inclusive, takes children of all faiths and studies all faiths as part of RE.

Its undersubscribed so we'd stand a good chance of getting in, as opposed to the secular schools around us which are all oversubscribed.

I liked the catholic schools I looked at but nowhere near as much as this school.

But the sense of guilt I'm feeling over it not being catholic is enormous. I keep thinking of what my gran would think as I promised her I would become a catholic before she died.

Strange things keep happening to me and I don't know whether it's the guilt, a bit of pnd

(I have a 3 month old) or god telling me I'm doing the wrong thing.

For example

Isn't feeling guilty part of being a Catholic?

Trust your gut, do it if it feels right. My two DC's are at a CofE School and flourishing there.

you are not being unreasonable for choosing a CofE school. Choose the school you like best and you think will be best for your children.

You promised you'd become catholic? You never promised your children would be. You can still go to a catholic church for mass etc.

Don't feel guilty. You want the best education and environment for your children.

Yabu

I'm not catholic but my 3 sons went to catholic schools. So that evens things out.

You are worrying about school for your 3 month old?

No of course god isn't punishing you!!! It sounds like a nice school, you should have no hesitation sending your child there if it's what you want, regardless of aunts, grannies etc etc. I'm sure you won't be consigned to the fires of hell :)

I'm not sure i follow the comment about strange things keep happening...

At which school do you think your child will thrive?

Its as simple as that.

You promising to become a Catholic and wanting to send your child to a Cof E school are 2 different things. You aren't breaking your promise, you want to send your children to a nice school. Do what is best for your children, not something that is dictated to by a religion.

I am an atheist. DS has just started at the local Catholic school. The schools in my area are really awful, and I mean dreadful. This is a lovely school and I do like the 'firm but fair' approach that the school has. He hasn't taken the place of a Catholic child before anyone says it. His education is far more important to me than my beliefs (or lack of).

Don't fuck up your children's schooling because of guilt - perceived or otherwise.

Sorry I keep hitting the 'done' key by accident!

For example, I found my st Christopher one day whilst I was thinking of this other school. Then I found my catholic catechism out if the blue. Then on the way to this cofe school I saw my old catholic course teacher, all as if to make me rethink what I was doing. But more sinister than that the two times I have driven past this school recently I have seen a funeral procession (so so sad and I feel awful mostly for the families involved but it really freaked me out) and then when I was looking at a sign for the church associated with this school my shoe lace got wrapped around my pedal and I almost couldn't brake the car. Then when my husband drove past the church again another car nearly crashed into him. It's like I'm getting all these signs I shouldn't be doing this. From either God or my gran. But I feel this school would be better for my kids. Please tell me I'm going mad! But be gentle!

Ps for what it's worth I don't think there's anything wrong with cofe or that god doesn't like it, I could have gone either way in adulthood, I just went the catholic way because of my gran

If your child is 3 months old, the schools will change in the next 4 years.

Pps ds is 3 months old, dd is 4 years old, it's her I'm thinking about!

I think the lack of sleep from your 3 month old and the pnd may not help you to look at this rationally tbh.

I would say you are reading into the things happening too much. The school is probably near the catholic church hence seeing your catholic course teacher. Similarly the funeral procession may well have been going to the CofE church affiliated to the school.

You obviously have doubts. GO with your gut feeling and you may not even get your first choice school so stop worrying and enjoy that scrum my baby. Unmumsnetty hug for you here too [hug]

scrum my baby not scrum my baby!!!

aaargh scrummy!!

I think you're over spiritualising things here and looking for signs, but it's based on this fear of yours of offending your Gran who has passed away. It's not terribly rational my love.

That's as gentle as I can be.

Are you considering this for your three month old baby? Then stop right now! You have years and years in which to decide on the right school. In that time the schools will change. Also, by the time you need to start choosing a school, you may not be going through the sort of post-baby hormonal stuff that may well be contributing to the over-thinking you are currently suffering from!

Ah, just read that you have a 4 year old. However, I still think you are getting very wound up and definitely over-spiritualising things.

Your gran would want whats best for you and dc, she really would. She wouldn't send you signs of almost car crashes.

Thanks for being gentle, I had weird pnd hallucinations with dd so maybe it's happening again? No it's not for my 3 month old it's for my 4 year old.

Do you need more sleep chik?

I am not religious but sent my child to local CofE as catchment school, the religious angle pisses me off but it's a good school.

Do what you want and I suspect god would understand.

Scrum my baby made me laugh lots (probably just what I needed thank you!)