Please tell me I'm being unreasonable

[mollysmum82]

Weird things keep happening to me and I know I'm being ridiculous, it would just be nice to have some sense shaken into me!

I am a catholic but I'm considering a cofe school. The reasons are

1.its a lovely lovely school with fab head, great facilities, nice feel to it etc

1. It has a Christian feel to it in terms of the 'be kind to others' ethos... But

1. Doesn't have the same 'strictness' as a catholic school in terms of the child having to attend mass, do the sacraments. It's inclusive, takes children of all faiths and studies all faiths as part of RE.

Its undersubscribed so we'd stand a good chance of getting in, as opposed to the secular schools around us which are all oversubscribed.

I liked the catholic schools I looked at but nowhere near as much as this school.

But the sense of guilt I'm feeling over it not being catholic is enormous. I keep thinking of what my gran would think as I promised her I would become a catholic before she died.

Strange things keep happening to me and I don't know whether it's the guilt, a bit of pnd

I think that you are subconsciously looking for reasons to chose the Catholic school because you feel guilty about preferring the other one. You could probably just as easily see 'signs' for the cofe school if there was enough pressure on you to do so.

Take that pressure off yourself. Let it go. Would your gran want you to feel worried and anxious about your own parenting choices? Of course not. Go with your gut feeling, chose the school that you think is best for your dd. You can still go to church, go to mass and your dd can be confirmed when she is older if that is what you want.

Btw, I work in a Catholic school and we take children of all faiths and teach all faiths as part of RE.

I would also suggest that you go to your gp and let them know about these experiences. Good luck x

My dh went to a Catholic school and it put him off Catholicism for life.

So the CoE school could be the best thing for keeping their faith in the long run.

Their faith will grow at home, with you as an example. True belief cannot be taught in school.

I'm so glad I've posted this. I've wanted to for days but I thought you'd all shout at me but instead you're making me feel lots better, thank you :)

I'd have a chat with your GP again, are you being treated for the pnd love? If you tell them about your over anxiousness they may look into better treatment/ counselling for you.

Is it keeping you awake at night too?

Personally I don't think God would mind which school you choose as long as you're putting your child's best interests first. I think God is probably "above" the trivial squabblings of CofE V. Catholic.

Your daughter is lucky to have a mum who cares so much and your gran was lucky to have someone like you who remembers her so strongly.

Get some sleep, don't stress and be happy

Thank you x

Yes it is keeping me awake at night :( I had some pretty horrific dreams too, I dreamed my car was on fire and the firebrigade wouldn't come. I dreamed objects kept flying round my house and I kept seeing the sacred heart Jesus statue my gran gave me through the dream. I can't believe I'm admitting all this out loud. You're going to think I'm a loon.

That's so nice raggybaggy thank you.

Thank you everyone

Dreams are your subconscious though. Shows how worried you are, but your worry is so excessive it is quite concerning

Out of interest, why did you look at the CofE School in the first place?

I never equated any of these things with pnd before posting tonight. I genuinely thought that it was God/my gran telling me I was doing the wrong thing. I even thought it could be something horrific like something bad is going to happen at the school in a few years and dcs will be hurt so this is God's way of telling me not to send them there.

I am really really confident that God has more important things to do than try and kill you or your dh in a freak accident for considering sending your dc to what is still essentially a Christian school

Yabu

I'm a Christian, but CofE but I have to say I am finding your posts very worrying. I think it is your pnd tbh and no amount of words on here will bring you peace I think. I think you need to talk to your GP and look into further support as these irrational fears will keep coming back over different things I think. You won't function well as a Mum if you're getting no sleep either.

Choosing a School is a huge decision. My DD is now in year 1. I simply prayed that if the School wasn't right for her, that she wouldn't be given a place.

I cannot believe that God cares which denomination someone is; and even more so which school they went to, or sent their kids to.

Neither God nor your Gran is giving you nightmares or communicating with you in dreams. You've pnd, you're knackered, you're trying to make a big decision. No wonder you're wearied from it all.

I am a Catholic. I am head of a Catholic school. My DC go to Catholic schools. BUT - you must pick the school you like the best. God IS NOT a Catholic (whatever they/we like to think) and the CofE school sounds lovely. Go with your heart and enjoy getting to be part of a more diverse community of all faiths and none - that's what freedom and diversity is all about.

Mollysmum, from your posts, it sounds like you may be not completely well at the moment. It's natural to worry about the school you choose for your little girl, of course it is. But interpreting a near accident as a sign that you are doing wrong is more than that. I imagine that your grandmother asked you to convert because she loved you and cared about you. And you are thinking about the school because you love and care about your daughter. Perhaps you could talk to your priest about the CofE school to put your mind at rest. But please also talk to your GP and your partner and good friends about how you are feeling

The flip side to your experiences could be telling you to go for it. So I'm told, a French translation associated with a St Christopher pendant is 'to look at him and go on reassured' thus affirming that your gut feeling is the right one. You are associating the symbol initially with your religion rather than the saint's patronage. It could just as easily be associated with the life journey you are travelling in which you are making this decision and protecting you on that. Funerals are a finality. So perhaps think of it as 'stopping' at this school. While I believe signs are there if we choose to read them, I also believe we can make them fit what we want, depending on our feelings at the time. Shed the burden of guilt you are carrying and you will feel clearer about your decisions

the c of e is only an offshoot of the rc church. its hardly different at all. my sil was rc and is cofe now. go for it.

lol. apart, of course, from transubstantiation/consubstantiation, the role and status of the virgin mary, women in the priesthood etc...

but i'm low-church c of e and my church doesn't exist any more. c of e priests want to be called father and wear robes, run the church as a business. when was the last time you saw a c of e vicar on foot doing home visits? i miss my church, with its white-painted walls and simple faith.

i don't dislike the rc lot. they do an effective line in Christianity in action, which is more than i do.

Thanks for listening and for your lovely posts, I've not even talked to dh about this yet, I'm a bit embarrassed and a bit freaked out.

Deep breath mummy and talk to him. I expect and hope that saying the words out loud will help you and he will be happy to reassure you

Lavinia I loved your post. Op read it and be reassured xx

Mummy? I meant molly!

Mollysmum - I'm Catholic and also about to apply for a place in reception for my 3yo DS.
I would absolutely agree with other replies. God is not a Catholic God. You must do what you believe is fit the overall good of your children, and if that is the CofE school then that is fine and you should most definitely not feel guilty. Please do go and chat things through with your GP if that will help.

The other thing I would add is that I firmly believe that educating a child has an important place at home. This includes all areas - numeracy, phonics, morality, reading, social skills and also religious education. If it is important to you that your children understand their Catholic heritage, then this can still happen without them going to a Catholic school.

Good luck!

mollysmum, I may have got it wrong but you have spoke about PND hallucinations when you had your daughter and worrying about what your gran thought. I suspect you may have pnd. Sending your first to school can feel very stressy and I think you may need to take some time to get your head straight. Try not to worry, wherever you child goes to school she will be fine. Look after yourself and talk to your gp if you feel like you have pnd symptoms.

Send your DD where you feel that she will be happier and will be offered a safe educational environment. I understand you are Catholic but your daughter may want to choose her own faith when she gets older, by being educated in multi regions she will be able to make an informed choice:)

sorry typo regions should read religions

you may have a little anxiety?

but apart from that, send her to the CofE school. Maybe you found the cathecisms etc so you can teach her at home.