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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's perfectly OK to work until 39+3?

97 replies

MickeyTheShortOne · 02/10/2012 19:05

I am due November the 8th. I am working until November 4th- would have worked until my due date but my company ask that you start your maternity leave on a Sunday..

If I'm being honest, work weren't fantastically supportive about the fact that I want to work for so long. This, I expected, as it means they have to look after me for longer, etc.
What I didn't expect was the reaction from the general public/my family/my friends. I constantly get comments like "Are you being stupid?", "Do you know how tired you will be?!", and "Oh how ridiculous, why on earth are you doing that? You should take it easy."

Am I being completely unreasonable to think that actually, its really OK to work for this long? And to be really, really pissed off that people feel the need to constantly remind me how ridiculous they think I am being?
I have a very low-risk pregnancy, (Although have been suffering with SPD, but its manageable), I have a fairly non-challenging job, and i'm not putting the baby at risk for being there so long. I understand that some people are keen to go on maternity leave as early as possible, and obviously some people's jobs might put their health/baby at risk, and some people don't have a choice. My reasoning behind it is that I would just like to remain as active as possible. Because I know if I stop work, I'll sit down at home and not do anything.

Sorry, mini-rant, its like all the bump comments I get too. Angry If I hear one more person comment on how huge I am, I may just sit on them!

OP posts:
Caerlaverock · 02/10/2012 19:06

I worked up to the day before my waters broke, that was at 37 weeks though

DefiniteMaybe · 02/10/2012 19:07

YANBU to plan to work until then but I had my dc at 39+1 and 39+2 so there's no guarantees that you'll be able to work until then.

scarlettsmummy2 · 02/10/2012 19:08

Everyone's different, if you feel up to it that's up to you. One thing to consider though is that it will be a long time before you will have the luxury of time by yourself to do whatever you want!

Goldrill · 02/10/2012 19:08

Morning. 38+5 here and not finishing any time soon. Will carry on past EDD if work don't object. Did the same last time. I feel fine: all other opinions are a bit irrelevant. Do what you think works best for you! Other people may have been pregnant, but they haven't been you being pregnant.

Molehillmountain · 02/10/2012 19:10

As long as you listen to your body and your midwife and stop earlier if you need to. I worked until a week before my baby arrived (she was nine days early but a full term baby iyswim). It was all fne, although I would have liked a bit more time to be a lady wot lunches though!

ginmakesitallok · 02/10/2012 19:10

YANBU to plan to work until then. If things change and you hav to go off earlier then you can? Goldrill - I don't think you are allowed to work past EDD? Though I may be wrong

McHappyPants2012 · 02/10/2012 19:11

I think you are nuts, on paper i worked till 40 weeks on DD but used all my hoilday entitlement before hand.

I think you deserve alittle me time before baby comes along.

Yanbu to want to work till that gestation

NumericalMum · 02/10/2012 19:11

I can honestly say after 3 months of no sleep I wish I had taken three months before the birth of my DD but I was so bored on maternity leave before DD came that it made sense in my head... The only good thing is that if you take a year you may have an interesting being to be on maternity leave with by the end...

monkeysbignuts · 02/10/2012 19:11

I am 38+2 & no way I could still go into work now!
I am running the house, looking after a 3 & 5 year old and walking 90 minutes everyday to do the school run so not doing nothing.

KatieMorag · 02/10/2012 19:12

Of course it's fine, as lomg as you feel up to it and your doctor/midwife doesn't have any concerns. Let's face it, mums at home with a couple of pre school children work much harder than in many paid jobs and no one suggests they should put their feet up for the last few weeks.

DamnTheManSaveTheEmpire · 02/10/2012 19:12

Yanbu at all.its perfectly reasonable to work in an office job til your due date. Ps I got those you're huuuuuge comments and fucking hated them!

larks35 · 02/10/2012 19:13

YANBU. I worked until about that time with my first, got some comments from colleagues, I think work were just a bit worried I'd go into labour at school!

I was way too tired with 2nd pregnancy and baby was small so ended up on Mat leave 4 weeks before due date. They were blissful! DS was in childcare and I was free to rest and relax.

Sirzy · 02/10/2012 19:14

It depends, like PP said you need to listen to your body and if it is causing problems stop. Also, if you were to go into labour at 37 weeks would you going off then cause problems for everyone else at work?

hlipop · 02/10/2012 19:14

worked up till 39+5 but everyday i went in past around 36 weeks management looked at me suspiciously and say 'your not going to have your baby on the floor are you??' (rolls eyes) i was fine but everyone is different -

NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown · 02/10/2012 19:15

I think it's entirely up to you... But at 38 weeks and in a lot of pain in my groin and pelvis and stretch marks I can see where they're coming from! I'm a SAHM so technically I'm working up until the day I give birth but I was like you 1st time round knowing I'd sit around doing nothing - the only difference is that's what I did! I finished work at 29 weeks I think, sat around eating cake feeling sorry for myself, consequently I put on a lot of weight (which didn't help one bit in labour) and ended up pretty miserable.

Being active is definitely what's made this pregnancy better, I've had no choice but I'm kind of glad. If you feel you can do it then go for it!

I had all the 'huge' comments last time so I totally feel for you... Please don't let them make you think you'll be early, everyone kept saying "you look about to drop, there's no way you're going to term" - so I convinced myself he'd be early, he was 10 days late in the end, I was so fed up!

Mind you I'm 3 stone less this time and still getting comments about how big I am. I'm measuring exactly on course and a growth scan has shown baby is too - I think people just don't know what to say, but there is a person growing in there!

hlipop · 02/10/2012 19:16

i also got comments from customers = 'ooh when are you due' me= '4 days' they would then go 'oh' and take a few steps back like i would explode on them?! lol

EasilyBored · 02/10/2012 19:16

As long as you feel up to it, it's fine. I planned on working until 37+1, but decided at about 34 weeks that I couldn't do it, and finished at 36+1. Which was a good things, as DS showed up at 37+3. I have an office job, but I just found the commute and the three flights of stairs I was up and down constantly at work were really taking it out of me.

Sometimes I wish I had had a bit more time before he arrived to do more 'me' stuff, but it's not the end of the world.

DorisIsWaiting · 02/10/2012 19:18

I planned to work until 38 weeks dd1 arrived at 37+1.

I was very very tired by that stage and I didn't have SPD. I don't think at this stage you can establish how you will be feeling let alone what plans your LO has.

RancerDoo · 02/10/2012 19:19

It's fine as long as you feel ok.
If I ever have another I will work until my due date as long as I am well. Or for as long as I am amused by people looking at me as though I am an unexploded bomb.

3monkeys3 · 02/10/2012 19:20

Of course YANBU if you feel capable. I know someone who worked until very late (not sure exactly when), went into labour at work (second baby so it kicked off quite quickly and painfully), waited until 5:30 to leave as normal, drove to pick her husband up from work, popped home for her bag, went to hospital and then found she needed to push as she got to the labour ward! She was totally unfazed by it - she wanted as long as possible off with her baby. I left work as early as possible during my first pregnancy and I had to leave the cinema during my third pregnancy because I couldn't cope with the braxton hicks I was having! Everyone feels differently and copes differently.

Original poster
MickeyTheShortOne · 02/10/2012 19:21

It wouldn't cause problems if I were to go in to labour early.. The law says that maternity leave starts automatically in that situation. My employers tried to force me to take it at 28 weeks I told them to piss off!! Hmm
Forgot to mention that I don't have any children yet- this is my first. I'm sure if I was running around after previous children I would have started my maternity leave by now!!

OP posts:
Lara2 · 02/10/2012 19:21

YANBU, I worked until 4 days before my due date with DS1 and was very glad to have the time with him rather than twiddling my thumbs at home before he was born. I'm a reception teacher so all go all day. I worked until 2 weeks before DS2 was born only because of the way the terms worked out. No regrets then either. I figured I was going to be shattered anyway and I did perfect napping to a fine art!

bigkidsdidit · 02/10/2012 19:21

I couldn't, I was knackered.

Be careful you take it easy at work, one study earlier this year showed it can be bad but seemed to be implying this was mostly for people who did physical work

here

LynetteScavo · 02/10/2012 19:21

If it's what you want to do, then fine.

Personally I couldn't do if physically, and I needed a little time to do nothing and get my head around the fact that my life was about to change beyond recognition forever.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 02/10/2012 19:23

Up to you, I didn't want to work that late either time, wanted a bit of time to rest and adjust plus I had a long commute, driving cross country mid winter at 8+ months and tired wasn't a barrel of laughs. Make sure you have used up all your annual leave though, if baby comes early ML kicks in and you can lose your AL.

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