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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's perfectly OK to work until 39+3?

97 replies

MickeyTheShortOne · 02/10/2012 19:05

I am due November the 8th. I am working until November 4th- would have worked until my due date but my company ask that you start your maternity leave on a Sunday..

If I'm being honest, work weren't fantastically supportive about the fact that I want to work for so long. This, I expected, as it means they have to look after me for longer, etc.
What I didn't expect was the reaction from the general public/my family/my friends. I constantly get comments like "Are you being stupid?", "Do you know how tired you will be?!", and "Oh how ridiculous, why on earth are you doing that? You should take it easy."

Am I being completely unreasonable to think that actually, its really OK to work for this long? And to be really, really pissed off that people feel the need to constantly remind me how ridiculous they think I am being?
I have a very low-risk pregnancy, (Although have been suffering with SPD, but its manageable), I have a fairly non-challenging job, and i'm not putting the baby at risk for being there so long. I understand that some people are keen to go on maternity leave as early as possible, and obviously some people's jobs might put their health/baby at risk, and some people don't have a choice. My reasoning behind it is that I would just like to remain as active as possible. Because I know if I stop work, I'll sit down at home and not do anything.

Sorry, mini-rant, its like all the bump comments I get too. Angry If I hear one more person comment on how huge I am, I may just sit on them!

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 02/10/2012 20:09

last pregnancy i was intending to work untill my actual due date. but 2 weeks before i finished for the week on the friday and weirdly had the baby on sat. 2 pregnancys ive know i was being induced early so worked up untill the day before the rest have all been working up till due date.

i dont get the whole me time before birth thing but from my view point i felt is was more important to have as much time as i could with baby before i went back to work.

EugenesAxe · 02/10/2012 20:12

What scarlettsmummy said. You may really enjoy slobbing out and watching TV/films or going to the cinema/art exhibitions. You really won't have decent 'you' time for ages.

But absolutely, if you are happy YANBU.

diddlediddledumpling · 02/10/2012 20:12

With my first two, I finished work on a Friday and had baby the following Wednesday. Planned it that way with ds1, but not ds2, he came 3 weeks early. Ds3 I had 3 weeks off and it was bliss to have the break before he came but that's more to do with how busy our lives are now and the fact that ds1&2 were out at school/playgroup for most of the day. With a first baby, I'd definitely rather stay at work as long as possible.

As for retorts, just stick your belly out and smile. It can also be quite entertaining to stop mid-sentence sometimes and make a strange face/noise. Keeps colleagues on their toes.

MummysHappyPills · 02/10/2012 20:12

I personally worked until about 37 weeks, I had been planning to work longer and had been fine up until this point, but almost overnight it just got too much, I was knackered and my hips/back started to ache and I felt uncomfortable scrunched up on the chair... I also found out I was breech around this time and that I would be in and out for scans/ECvs etc. so seemed logical to stop and I was glad to!

I would play it by ear, there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't work til then, as long as it is fairly flexible in case you decide you really don't feel up to it anymore, or dc makes an early appearance! Grin

GreenShadow · 02/10/2012 20:13

Absolutely no reason why not. I could easily have worked up until due date in all 3 pregnancies, but then I didn't have a massive bump.

but would advice playing it by ear if at all possible.

NK2b1f2 · 02/10/2012 20:18

Absolutely fine if you are up to it Smile but your baby might have different ideas. I worked to 38 weeks and my dd1 was born two days later...

I know plenty of people who worked up to their due date, including one colleague who still took calls and gave advice over the phone on her way to hospital with contractions coming thick and fast.

vole3 · 02/10/2012 20:44

I started mat leave on the Monday at 37 + 4 and DS arrived the next day.

LilyCocoplatt · 02/10/2012 20:45

I can see both sides of it, I went off on ML a month before my DD was due and felt at the time I needed to as I was so tired and dragging myself into work was getting harder every morning. Once I was on maternity leave though after the first week of enjoying slobbing around the house I was so bored, couldn't be bothered to do anything in the house and couldn't really go out much as it was the middle of a bad winter and I was scared of slipping on the snow and ice due to not being able to see my feet. On balance though if I had to do it again I would finish at least a couple of weeks before my due date to get a bit of a rest, I wish I had slept more before the baby came, I would have if I had realised that lie ins would be a rare treat with a baby/toddler around.

Pudgy2011 · 02/10/2012 20:51

I worked up until I went into labour at 37+6 but I appreciate that I live close to my office and don't have a commute to worry about.
It's more the done thing here as we only get 12 weeks mat leave with the option of an extra month unpaid so I would definitely do the same again.

ImaginateMum · 02/10/2012 20:57

I had a baby both times by 39 + 3!

maddening · 02/10/2012 21:09

You have to remember also that older generations were put on maternity at 6mths - my friend is 57 and her children are younger than me and her work would not let her work past 6mths so remarks from older people might be that this working so far into pregnancy is not what they grew up with

Lambzig · 02/10/2012 21:12

YANBU if thats what you want to do.

Last time I worked till 39 weeks and had the baby 5 days later, it was fine, but in hindsight the last week was super hard (mainly the commute to Canary Wharf) and I was ridiculously stubborn about it. I wanted to save my maternity leave for after the baby was born.

I think its different this time around (am having ELCS on 6th Nov, so similar to your due date) as I now work part time and have a rampaging toddler and am much more tired. I am finding work days much less demanding than home days really, but definitely want some time to myself so planning to stop two weeks before ELCS date.

gindrinker · 02/10/2012 21:16

If you feel fine why not.
But please please please start passing over work to who ever will be covering you.
I'm covering maternity leave at the moment and I felt that everything was being left to the last minute and there was a risk I wouldn't know everything if something happened.

DontmindifIdo · 02/10/2012 21:18

If you have any holiday allowance left, put that on the start.

I worked until 37 weeks and had DS at 38 weeks. The last week (36) suddenly got difficult, I was getting a lift to the station and then a seat on the train, but that felt draining, I ached, my work suffered - I probably would have finished earlier but my replacement moved to our department that week and I felt I should give her a proper handover.

One thing your company might be pushing for an eariler finish date because they've had female staff members have babies at 37 or 38weeks, and are worried if you only planning to leave at 39+4 weeks, then go off 2 weeks early, you wo'nt be ready to handover, if they get a phone call saying "I've had the baby" and suddenly they've got to peice together where you are up to with each project or your handover.

Alternatively if you basically hand over at 36 weeks, then you've got the best part of a month doing the commute, feeling increasingly tired and shattered, not actually achieving anything, sort of being in the way at work with a list of things you oculd be getting on with at home.

PenelopeChipShop · 02/10/2012 21:26

It might well be ok, especially if you feel comfortable with it! But in my case I gave birth at 39+3 precisely! Do be aware that you don't get the final say! Grin

That said I agree that staying active is a great idea. I was in the swimming pool the day before my son was born. I saved the cake scoffing til the breastfeeding stage

Ihateparties · 02/10/2012 21:38

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me as long as you're happy and things stay low risk.

Were this not your first baby (sounded like it but maybe it isn't?) it seems unlikely people would be lining up at your door to take them off your hands for "maternity leave" a month or two before the baby was due...

parakeet · 02/10/2012 21:58

I worked til one day before my elective C-sections and it was fine. Both times it was because I knew I wanted to take my full 12 months maternity leave and thought I would find it more useful taking it after the birth than before.

FreudianLisp · 02/10/2012 22:07

If you feel fine, then it's fine, but why does being at home mean you have to do nothing? Can't you do something nice at home for the last few weeks before a little person takes up 103% of your time and energy.

DontmindifIdo · 02/10/2012 22:12

Ihateparties - sorry, but over the summer I regularly had a couple of little girls over who's mothers where both due in September.... I'm kind of hoping they will remember this and when I get to 8 months with DC2 (assuming I can actually get and stay pregnant) and I can call in the favours...

mummytime · 02/10/2012 22:14

When I had my 3rd, there were two women on the ward (had had their babies between 11 pm and 4 am) who were fielding work calls by 10 am. I don't think thats why our mother's fought for maternity rights.

When I was in my last couple of days, I found walking for 5 minutes exhausting, not because of the size but because my body was preparing to give birth.

foreverondiet · 02/10/2012 22:34

I worked until 39 weeks with DS2 (DC3) - but he was born a week early - which meant that I was at work on Thursday, and was in labour by the Friday evening - he was born on the Saturday morninng!

I spend the last week of work having constant BH contractions and I knew that if I told my boss I'd be packed off home in a taxi! But as it was DC3 I was laid back about the contractions - also I figured I could get to a hospital just as quickly from work as from home.

But it was fine, and I traveled to work on the tube, at rush hour.

My SIL's SPD got much much worse at the end and couldn't walk after 36 weeks - so if you already have SPD then you might find its not possible.

KatieMorag · 02/10/2012 22:51

I guess we are alL different as I could still walk for moderate distances ( a couple of miles) right up until I gave birth at 42 weeks. Indeed I was walking a lot trying to move things along a bit !

Theas18 · 02/10/2012 22:57

Good luck! I planned to work to 39 weeksbut had dd2 the Wednesday lunch time of the week before I was due to finish lol. Dropped work in deep doodoo and felt bad about it

Have decent contingency plans an do a proper hand over a coupe of weeks before just in case

LonelyCloud · 02/10/2012 23:00

I guess it all depends on how your pregnancy is going, how you feel, and how strenuous your job is. You're the best judge of that.

The only thing I would wonder about is whether you've taken all your holidays, because at my work the holiday year is January - December, and we can't carry any days over. I had 3 weeks holiday planned for right before my maternity leave started for that reason.

Jenstar21 · 02/10/2012 23:11

I went into labour at work! I was 38+2, and planned to work until 39.