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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's perfectly OK to work until 39+3?

97 replies

MickeyTheShortOne · 02/10/2012 19:05

I am due November the 8th. I am working until November 4th- would have worked until my due date but my company ask that you start your maternity leave on a Sunday..

If I'm being honest, work weren't fantastically supportive about the fact that I want to work for so long. This, I expected, as it means they have to look after me for longer, etc.
What I didn't expect was the reaction from the general public/my family/my friends. I constantly get comments like "Are you being stupid?", "Do you know how tired you will be?!", and "Oh how ridiculous, why on earth are you doing that? You should take it easy."

Am I being completely unreasonable to think that actually, its really OK to work for this long? And to be really, really pissed off that people feel the need to constantly remind me how ridiculous they think I am being?
I have a very low-risk pregnancy, (Although have been suffering with SPD, but its manageable), I have a fairly non-challenging job, and i'm not putting the baby at risk for being there so long. I understand that some people are keen to go on maternity leave as early as possible, and obviously some people's jobs might put their health/baby at risk, and some people don't have a choice. My reasoning behind it is that I would just like to remain as active as possible. Because I know if I stop work, I'll sit down at home and not do anything.

Sorry, mini-rant, its like all the bump comments I get too. Angry If I hear one more person comment on how huge I am, I may just sit on them!

OP posts:
Sparry · 02/10/2012 19:23

I worked til mt due date and DD was 2 1/2 weeks late. Personally wasn't especially tired and the office was nearer to hospital than my house, so wasn't concerned about things kicking off at work. Do what suits you

WorraLiberty · 02/10/2012 19:23

YANBU

If you're well enough and can do your job properly then why on earth not?

marquesas · 02/10/2012 19:24

Work as long as you feel able to, personally I don't understand why people take weeks off beforehand. It seems daft to eat into the time you have after the baby's born if you know you're going back to work and you're well enough to do your job properly.

GColdtimer · 02/10/2012 19:25

It's entirely up to you. However, now I am working with two young dds I would give anything for those last few weeks child free maternity time again!

2beornot · 02/10/2012 19:26

Like everyone else has said, as long as you feel fine then there is no reason to finish work any earlier. However, people are only giving you the benefit of their experience. I had a beautiful pregnancy but was just so tired!! I couldn't wait to finish work!!

Viviennemary · 02/10/2012 19:27

I might be old fashioned but I simply would not recommend it. I read an article a while ago pointing out it was not a good idea.

Gentleness · 02/10/2012 19:28

Being active is definitely good for you and in America working right up to the due date is normal anyway. I suppose a lot depends on the type of job/duties you have - if you get to be home and resting by 5 and don't take work or stress back with you, then that is very different from either doing long hours or taking work home and worries. Just don't underestimate the value of having a good rest and time to think before baby arrives and throws all into lovely chaos.

I finished work around 34.5 weeks because that was the end of summer term with all the chaos that entails PLUS having to empty my classroom and prepare handover of all my responsibilities. But then we also moved house a week or so later, including a huge clean-up job, stripping paper (and plaster as it turned out), minor redecorating, redoing the bathroom. Dh only took a half day off during that whole summer as his work was very stressful at the time. So actually I was hugely busy right up to the due date. Then baby was 15 days late and it felt like such a lovely bonus. I was fine so it didn't bother me, but I had time to properly think about what was happening, prepare mentally for the birth and beyond and and just get excited.

With ds2 I was a SAHM, much more sedentary and (I think as a result) had a much harder pregnancy and too much time to get freaked out about how I'd cope with two which wasn't a good thing.

So I think you have to know yourself well enough to get a good balance and be prepared to listen if your body tells you to change your mind.

bigkidsdidit · 02/10/2012 19:28

I just linked to it Vivienne

aldiwhore · 02/10/2012 19:30

YANBU OP and I wasn't BU when I took my mat leave the second after I was legally allowed to (27 weeks? Long time ago!). We're all different. Saying that, there's no shame at all in stopping sooner should you feel you need to.

Good luck [smile}

Original poster
MickeyTheShortOne · 02/10/2012 19:31

Thankyou everyone. Now what to respond to the next witty comment in RL about how silly I'm being... Grin

OP posts:
wheresmespecs · 02/10/2012 19:32

Depends on you, depends on the job.

I was working up til the minute my waters broke. Longer, actually - I took work into the hospital with me (had planned CS so was all v low key).

I'm self employed, had a healthy easy pregnancy and did nearly all of my work at a PC.

I would have liked some time off to lie on the sofa and chill, but then I wouldn't have got the job finished and wouldn't have got paid.

FatimaLovesBread · 02/10/2012 19:34

I envy that you feel able to do this EnvySmile
I'm 32+4 with DC1 and i'm due to finish when i'm 34+6. I really cannot wait, i'm tired and achey with SPD and just generally struggling. I also have little jobs I want to do around the house before the baby arrives and days of doing nothing but watching TV reruns.
If you feel physically able to then why not?

Lua · 02/10/2012 19:34

I was working until the day DD was born (she was born in the evening). I was feeling absolutely fine! Even planted bulbs a few days before!

Don't see why I should have stopped, you need the time after not before!

attheendoftheday · 02/10/2012 19:36

I worked until 39+5 in my first pregnancy and it was fine. Just be sure you won't be leaving anyone in the lurch if you have the baby early.

notanaxemurderer · 02/10/2012 19:44

I worked until 41 weeks. I hadn't intended to and I finished at 38 weeks. However, I was so bored with the sitting around waiting and I felt absolutely fine, that I went back to work again to oversee the project I'd been doing.

Is there any way you can wait and see how you're feeling closer to the time?

NatashaBee · 02/10/2012 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pongysticks · 02/10/2012 19:45

With DS1 I worked on the morning I gave birth he did come early, I regret doing that - (I'm the boss BTW so was working from home) a week after he was born I was back dealing with emails, client etc.

With DS2 I took 2 weeks off it was pure bliss and I took about 3 months out and only worked a 3 day week until he was 2.

I really look back now and wish that people had told me I was mad working up to his birth, I didn't feel prepared or rested at all I felt like I'd just made this massive life change happen between emails!!

But we are all different I just love my business and what I do but I learnt to take a break and even now I have to remind myself that the Boys need me more.

nextphase · 02/10/2012 19:53

It is possible to start your ML after your due date - a friend at work put it down as her start date both pregnancies, and made it past EDD with the first. Ended up bringing the start of ML forward a bit with DS2. Work were very relieved both times she didn't go into labour at work, but she had a change of clothes in her car, and a friend (me) with DH's phone numbers, and knowing her notes and spare clothes were in the car if needed - which they weren't.

I went to just past 38 with both mine, but used holiday to do 4 day weeks for the last month or so.

Witty response.... Not sure, but its do-able, especially if work will let you leave earlier if you change your mind.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 02/10/2012 19:54

I could have worked until 39+3 with DC1 too but I would have ended up having to take LO in with me for the last 10 days, and no, I wasn't induced.

As for DC2, well I could have done it, did manage to go to my due date that time but had a killer of a bladder infection for the entire last month which left me completely drained.

So, from my huge research sample of 2, I would say YABU.

maymoon · 02/10/2012 19:56

I think it all depends on how demanding your job is and how easy you are finding your pregnancy. Plus how supportive your employers are. Don't worry about what everyone else says.

I'm a children's nurse and sometimes work on the general children's ward can be quite hard going. As I wanted to work for as long as I could I was able to worked on the general ward up to 6 months then the matron transferred me to SCBU (they needed holiday and mat.leave cover) from 6-7.5 months as the work is physically lighter (not emotionally lighter for a pregnant woman though!!). From 7.5 to 8.5 months I worked in out-patients, even lighter work and not shift work.

I got 3 weeks off and was then back right next to where I worked giving birth! Had loads of visitors from work friends.

As I worked until so late in my pregnancy i got lots of time to spend with my baby before thinking about returning to work.

RuleBritannia · 02/10/2012 19:58

Never mind what other people say. Work until you feel that you have to give it up.

There's very little worse than sitting at home all day not being able to do anything.

RuleBritannia · 02/10/2012 19:58

Never mind what other people say. Work until you feel that you have to give it up.

There's very little worse than sitting at home all day not being able to do anything.

monkeysbignuts · 02/10/2012 20:00

mickey I am shattered! This is my third baby and I am on my feet from 7:30am till 8pm, cooking , cleaning, washing, school pick up and drop offs & generally running found after the two little ones. they are 5 & 3 and full of energy :/

WilsonFrickett · 02/10/2012 20:01

I skipped along, fresh as a little daisy until 37 weeks. Then I hit a wall and could not wait to get off (planned for 38 weeks). That last week was hell on earth. All I'm saying is, it's totally up to you, but don't back yourself into a corner - you may well want to go a week or so earlier when it comes to it. 28 weeks is a joke though!

monsterchild · 02/10/2012 20:07

I'm in the US, and I'll be working up until I go into labor (if that's on a weekday). I only get about 6 weeks leave (due to tiny, tiny office not being required to give FLMA). I will likely be working from home even during mat leave. I'm the only one in the office who is licensed to do what I do. We have fill ins, of course, for some things, but I'll be telecommuting somewhat.
Yes, I am quite jealous of all you getting a year or more of leave, but it's my lot, so I'll live with it.

Happily I have been invited to bring kidlet to the office with me until he's "old enough to make things sticky." which is great!

As long as the doc says I can work, I will be working.

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