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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DS will die?

88 replies

Flojo1979 · 01/10/2012 16:32

Ok so he's perfectly healthy normal 7 yo.
And I've always been pessimistic about stuff, like every time I get on a plane I wonder will this be the one to fall out of the sky, I won't go on fair rides etc cos I'm convinced MY cart will derail etc.
Balanced with that tho, I dont worry when I get behind the wheel of my car.
Anyway, DS is having an operation tomorrow just a simple routine thing, but I can't help thinking what if, what if, what if and what if he doesn't wake up etc.
I know I'm being unreasonable but I need a bit of hand holding! I'm a single mum so I don't have a DH to hold my hand so pls will someone be the voice of reason!

OP posts:
CailinDana · 01/10/2012 16:36

Oh you poor thing :( I know it's probably not much comfort but I would feel exactly the same way, in fact, I think a lot of mums would. I worry endlessly about my DS dying, and the thought of him going for an operation terrifies me. Thing is, operations are incredibly safe, and being in the hospital under expert care is probably the safest place in the world for him to be for that period of time! That doesn't help much with the fear though does it :(

Is there anyone to come to the hospital with you tomorrow, to sit with you?

InfinityWelcomesCarefulDrivers · 01/10/2012 16:37

Ahh Flojo, good luck for tomorrow. You don't need me to tell you you are being sily - you know you are, but it's completely understandable. Just proves you're a parent I think!

Tee2072 · 01/10/2012 16:39

When my son had GA for his procedure at 13 months the anesthesiologist told me that in 30 years of practice, he'd never had someone react to GA.

And that's the real danger with simple procedures.

Follow the fasting guidelines. He'll be fine.

{{{{hug}}}}

McHappyPants2012 · 01/10/2012 16:40

good luck with your DS op tomorrow, i think its in our programming to worry

porcamiseria · 01/10/2012 16:41

xxxxx

hand holding

xxxxx

he wll be fine, you know that

MammaTJisWearingGold · 01/10/2012 16:41

I think we all feel like that when our DC have an operation. My DD1 had to have grommets in and her adenoids out and I felt like that. I won't talk about DD2 here as the fear that she would die was a realistic one, but even she is fine.

DS had an op to lift his droopy eyelid and taking him for the anasthetic is the hardest thing I have ever done. He was fine then and fine a few months later when he had it re-done.

Good luck though I am sure everything will be fine. YANBU!!

financialwizard · 01/10/2012 16:42

My 2 yr old DD had her tonsils out and adenoids earlier this year. I was terrified, but the consultant put me at ease and I was reminded that I have had quite a few ops and lived to tell the tale.

Your DS would not be having the operation if it was unneccessary.

(((HUGS))) though, it is scarey.

JamNan · 01/10/2012 16:54

Flojo, I'll hold your hand. I've been through it a few times myself with my DD when she was little and it is very worrying. She's now a grown-up Mummy herself BTW. The nurses and anaesthetists were so comforting to me and really helped me, so talk to them about how you feel and they should put your mind at rest.

It will be OK.

SofaKing · 01/10/2012 16:55

Lots of hugs, I would be scared too, but your ds will be fine. Please remember there I'd always someone on MN who is here so post tomorrow if you need hand holding, I wish I could do more than send virtual (((hugs))), but I will be thinking of you and ds.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 01/10/2012 16:56

Thank-you everyone, I know logically I'm being silly but I just feel really emotional tonight. Probably best I get the tears out the way today while DS is busy, then tomorrow I can be strong for him.

OP posts:
JamNan · 01/10/2012 17:07

Sweetheart, you are not being silly - you are being a concerned parent (and you sound like a very nice mummy too). Ask the nurses what the procedure is if you want to accompany DS to theatre.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 01/10/2012 17:10

Absolutely I want to stay with him til he's asleep, is this not usual procedure?

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 01/10/2012 17:30

I know I could with my son, Flojo. It might depend on your hospital, though.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 01/10/2012 19:04

They won't have a choice! I will be staying with him, let them try and stop me!

OP posts:
StanleyLambchop · 01/10/2012 19:10

I'm holding your hand tightly, OP. It is perfectly normal to worry, I bet there isn't a Mum on the planet who wouldn't worry in the circumstances. My DD has had 2 ops, but she is fine and although it was stressful at the time, her life has improved since having them. The Mummy in you doesn't want to let them go, but deep down your logic tells you that they have to have the operation and you must let them. Good luck with it all!

redadmiralsinthegarden · 01/10/2012 19:17

big hug, flojo. remember, he wouldn't be having the op unless he needs it, and GA's are very safe.
just prepare yourself for when he 'goes under' the GA. He will SUDDENLY fall asleep in your arms. it's sudden, and made me feel very emotional. make sure you will have someone there afterwards for YOU.
he will be fine. you will be fine.
Thanks

phantomnamechanger · 01/10/2012 19:23

hugs OP, I remember the 15 minutes GA that DD1 had for an endoscopy & biopsy - longest 15minutes of my life - her first words when she came round were a very slurred "why has that nurse got 4 eyes" LOL!

noyouhavehadawee · 01/10/2012 19:25

Aww i feel your pain - our ds (age 5) had gromets put in earlier this year and i was exactly the same , i went into theatre with him and talked to him (through my fog of tears) whilst they prepared to knock him out, he was awesome and i leaked a lot of tears but he survived the ga as did the 20 odd kids after him.

flyingbebe · 01/10/2012 19:25

Usually they will let parents come with their children into the anathestic room (unless it is an emergency, which this isn't). You probably will be emotional afterwards, this is very common and the hospital staff won't be surprised at all.

What procedure is he having?

LiegeAndLief · 01/10/2012 19:30

My ds had a minor operation at 14 months and leaving him to the surgeon was the hardest thing I have ever done! You are not being silly at all. The very lovely nurses told me that everyone cries when they take their kids in for GA, even the big tough looking men. Obviously as I am not a big tough looking man I got slightly hysterical Blush.

Good luck for tomorrow. Is there going to be anyone with you? (apart from your ds of course).

monkeysbignuts · 01/10/2012 19:31

I was in bits when my son had his ga soIl totally get where your coming from.good luck I am sure it will run smooth xx

LiegeAndLief · 01/10/2012 19:31

Forgot to say I think that leaving your unconcious child to a man with a scalpel, however well-intentioned, goes against every motherly instinct you've ever had!

ORANGEgiraffesCantWearGOLD · 01/10/2012 19:32

If its any help I was convinced I would die when I had my op - but I was fine. When I woke up the first thing I said was "Oh my god, am I not dead?"

I also as a child used to become convinced I would die on a plane crash on holidays so would write letters to my family and friends and leave them hidden in my desk drawer to be found.

Nuttyprofessor · 01/10/2012 19:35

I took my DD into the anaesthetists room when she was 6 months old, the thought of it still makes me cry and she is 26.

It is the worst part of being a mother.

Good luck it will all be over soon.

gymmummy64 · 01/10/2012 19:39

Staying for the GA is absolutely the right thing to do, but PLEASE take someone with you for when you leave the room. It's very very safe, but it's very very tough to do it. Do make sure you have some support. You will also need it during the wait.

Lots of hugs, you know he will be fine