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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think if you own 3 houses

64 replies

lovelylentils · 01/10/2012 00:23

Pil have 3 houses. The one they live in, a holiday home and one they rent out and let their dd (dh sis keep the money )
dh has been made redundant and as of mid dec we'll be homeless. Aibu to think an offer of help would have been nice? Dh refuses to ask for help which i undrstand but we are really not in a good position. Sil even had the cheek to ask if we wanted to rent from her!

Please note i do not expect anything to be hsnded on a plate but in the interests of grandchildren and ds i though they might have offered

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 01/10/2012 00:25

Do they actually know that you are going to be homeless? Do they perhaps think that your husband is getting a good redundancy package?

Is the holiday home one which could feasibly house you?

WorraLiberty · 01/10/2012 00:25

Why is her offer of help a cheek?

Surely you should accept and let housing benfits pay until you and your DH are back in work again?

Original poster

lovelylentils · 01/10/2012 00:29

Sil has a cheek imo as housr she is offering for us to rent and pay her for was bought for her by pil.
Dh will have no redundancy package as he's not been there long enough.

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 01/10/2012 00:29

So it is her house, or her parents house?

missymoomoomee · 01/10/2012 00:30

Why should they offer? I would assume if someone needed my help they would ask me.

Original poster

lovelylentils · 01/10/2012 00:30

They paid for it. She gets the rent

OP posts:

ClaudiaSchiffer · 01/10/2012 00:33

Why have your pil bought a house for your sil and not for your dh?

Not that they need to buy anyone a house but that seems a teeny bit unfair.

But in answer to your OP I would expect my family to help if I was going to be homeless yes. But then if it was my pils place they wouldn't offer it to us as they are tight believe that you have to make your own way in life.

Original poster

lovelylentils · 01/10/2012 00:33

I just cant imagin not offering if either of my dc were in trouble and i knew i could help. I also think dh should ask but he's embarrased.!

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 01/10/2012 00:34

Embarassment will not put a roof over anyones head. Ask them. If they say no, then you all know where their loyalties lie.

ClaudiaSchiffer · 01/10/2012 00:35

Do they actually know how bad your impending situation is op? Or are you just hoping they will immediately rush to your aid?

MrsRhettButler · 01/10/2012 00:35

Ohh I don't know, can't imagine my family operating like this though. Not helpful I know, sorry.

Not knowing all the details of why, I can't really comment on the sil/house situation but are you sure they're not planning to offer help?

Original poster

lovelylentils · 01/10/2012 00:35

Well i think it is unfair but dh refuses to ask them why and i can't really raise the subject to dh without fearing of sounding greedy.

OP posts:

MrsRhettButler · 01/10/2012 00:36

I also would have asked by now if I needed help.

expatinscotland · 01/10/2012 00:36

I'd take the SIL's house and rent it.

Original poster

lovelylentils · 01/10/2012 00:37

Well they know he's been made redundant. They know we have no money. They know we cant afford the rent.

OP posts:

missymoomoomee · 01/10/2012 00:38

I would rather suffer a bit of embarrassment than have my family on the streets.

Why not accept SIL offer to rent the house? At least you won't need a deposit, I can't understand why you think its cheeky for her to give you a solution to your problem really.

WorraLiberty · 01/10/2012 00:39

Are your parents in the picture OP?

Original poster

lovelylentils · 01/10/2012 00:40

Because shes profiting from us. As a parent iwould not buy a house for one of my childrenso that they could make money from the other!

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 01/10/2012 00:42

But if you have to rent a house, then somewhere somebody is going to profit from you.. so why not live there.

Original poster

lovelylentils · 01/10/2012 00:43

The only way my parents could help would be letting us have a spare room. Something which they have offered and looks like we will take up. But not ideal with two chn.

OP posts:

missymoomoomee · 01/10/2012 00:43

So out of embarrassment your dh isn't asking for help, and the help you have been offered you are refusing because it means she will be profiting from you?

It sounds a bit like cutting your nose off to spite your face really.

I feel for you, its a shitty situation to be in, but you aren't exactly helping yourselves either.

lanternfestival · 01/10/2012 00:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 01/10/2012 00:44

There is also the possibility that one of you may find a job before December too isnt there?

WorraLiberty · 01/10/2012 00:48

Then why not take up your parent's kind offer and look for work?

Original poster

lovelylentils · 01/10/2012 00:48

That is my point. It is a shitty situation but i'm not suggesting they are being unr by not jumping to offer us a house. Just i can not understand how they could treat their two dc so differently. Tbh i would rather pay someone else rent than see sil sit back and take our money for a house that in my opinion dh has an equal right to.

OP posts:

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