to think if you own 3 houses

[lovelylentils]

Pil have 3 houses. The one they live in, a holiday home and one they rent out and let their dd (dh sis keep the money )
dh has been made redundant and as of mid dec we'll be homeless. Aibu to think an offer of help would have been nice? Dh refuses to ask for help which i undrstand but we are really not in a good position. Sil even had the cheek to ask if we wanted to rent from her!

Please note i do not expect anything to be hsnded on a plate but in the interests of grandchildren and ds i though they might have offered

Is it worth claiming housing benefit where you are now , as that might cover most of the rent until a job can be found ?

To people ing at OP's H for not asking. WOuld you go to parents that clearly favour your sibling over you? No just by a little either but by a lot?

I'm sorry this is happening OP. YANBU Your PIL's are

MsOna if it meant the difference between my family being homeless or not then I would certainly go to my parents or anyone else that could help for that matter and not just assume that people will help me.

I really think the SIL getting the house isn't as clear cut as OP thinks it is.

I don't understand why you don't all sit down over a roast chicken and talk about it?

Honestly. Talk.

MsOna it is only an assumption by some that the PiL favour the SiL, it is not clear that that is a fact at all IMO. There could be all sorts of reasons or factors.

"Surely you should accept and let housing benfits pay until you and your DH are back in work again?"

That is not allowed.

HB does not exist so the well off can trouser public money by letting properties to family members.

The propertied class are only allowed to trouser public money used to house people they are not related to.

Oh ffs you can claim housing benefit renting off a relative as long as the council is convinced it is not a contrived tenancy created in order to claim housing benefit and said relative is also not resident in the property. If the SIL has been renting out the property beforehand to non-relatives this is not likely to be a problem.

The only person you can not rent off and claim housing benefit is someone who is a parent to your children as they have a responsibility towards housing those children.

Well if they're going to be claiming HB and it's a regular tenancy, what possible "help" is being offered here?

They'd be better off staying where they are.

The only way the offer by the sister is generous is if it is contrived and not s regular tenancy.

Nice to know that there are so few limits on landlords claiming benefits.

Or if the sister is offering a discounted rent.

You arenot being unreasonable to be upset op.
I could understand the rent of a house going to the sibling most in need, but I truly do not understand how your sil,is getting it if she earns well.
She was being extremely unhelpful in offering you to rent it from her, she should have offered you the income from the rent.

There must be more to this than meets the eye

What reason does your DH give for not wanting to approach them for help ?

Could this agreement between PIL and SIL just be about reducing tax, the property is owned by PIL then the rental and tax is PIL responsibility, they can give money after tax to SIL but SIL should not be handling rent and it should not be going direct to her bank. Maybe there is a need to know agreement that they are keeping as quiet as possible.

lots of peoples families are like this!!!

i am amazed so many cant understand why one sibling is favoured!

in my DH family - they favour the DD, she shares the same views, is like them, they " understand" her, my DH is the odd one out - they dont get him, they dont understand him and sometimes seem afraid of him as they struggle to " control" him!

they would never confide in him about money if they needed a tax thing as suggested they would never impart that info to DH.

they wouldnt even want him to have any extra cash as they wouldnt trust him with it - they think - thier dd " gets it" what life is about but DH doesnt

i know of quite a few families where the DH is not a great talker or defends himself to his family....and the DD simply has a better line of communication and understanding with her DP's and therefore is closer to them, more trusted by them etc....