AIBU to think that baby showers are just awful 'parties'

[BenandBolly]

Are they not just present grabbing twee occasions?

And if they are are about celebrating an baby why are men not invited?

I just don't understand why women have them?

Do people actually enjoy them?

"Just because one gets pregnant doesn't automatically mean all your friends should be that interested in the subject."

BenandBolly this is so refreshing, and very considerate. Well done on not being a Pregzilla! :)

You couldn't even do it for a friend? I find that odd. It mightn't be your cup of tea but it might be something someone you know would like. My 75 year old lesbian childless biker auntie came to mine and had a lovely afternoon.

It's like someone house hunting and throwing a new home party where all the guests are expected to talk about property ....yawn!
It's not that I wouldn't do it for. Friend it's that I wouldn't subject my friends to it. There will be enough tedious baby talk for the non pro creators after the baby is born. Having a get together with friends is one thing but an afternoon of talking about it would not be something many child free people would enjoy IMO

I loathe babyshowers. Unreasonably so.

So childless people don't like talking about babies? That's a ridiculous assumption.

Some find it too painful. That's not ridiculous at all.

Some not all

So childless people don't like talking about babies?

I haven't ever said ALL child free people.

Many child free women and mothers find baby talk quite boring actually. Some find it painful due to loss or not conceiving. Some people like it too. But I wouldn't subject ALL my friends to endless conversations/quizzes effectively about ME cause I'm pregnant because some would find it incredibly dull or hurtful.

The fact that you find that surprising is surprising in itself.

The OP didn't say "all", she said in her opinion it would not be something many would enjoy.

I agree with benandBolly. Actually I have had 3 children and I would find that kind of party incredibly boring. Some people just like to get on with their lives whilst being pregnant, without making a big issue out of it.
Of course there's nothing wrong with them as such, but definitely not something I would have wanted, either for myself or to attend as a guest.

It's not always about what YOU want. As a friend or relative you do the nice thing, put your feelings aside for a couple of hours.

I love Baby Showers - I only go if the mum-to-be is a close friend/family member. I have organised one, only close friends and family invited and the boyfriends/husbands were invited but used it as an excuse to go to the pub and then come back for the buffet.

We sat around, talked about everything from how the mum-to-be was feeling to X Factor, to sex toys and every possible subject in between. There were no cupcakes but I did go into baking overdrive and cake/sweet treats outnumbered sarnies by about 5 to 1 Also had a Body Shop at Home rep come in and, with no hard sell, showed her products, some bought, some tried, some didn't pay attention - no pressure. Definitely no games, I don't get that. No gifts, specified on the invite, but some did bring something. It was entirely up to them.

My friend has said that she loved it so much and was just so lovely to sit with her nearest and dearest and feel loved and happy - her DS2 was 3 months before she got out for a night out (albeit a meal, not a riotous do!)

Friend has said she wants to organise a party for me, I said I would love that but will be stipulating no gifts please. I will take the American tradition of a meal to freeze though (if guests are that way inclined), that would be amazing as the last thing I will want to do with a newborn is cook!

Each to their own. If you don't like, don't go - don't make up an excuse just explain it isn't your thing.

I agree with whoever it was upthread that said, only grabby people have grabby parties.

As I said I am not saying I wouldn't do that for a friend but I would not subject my friends to a possibly boring afternoon about ME!

As I also said I would not expect to be invited to a new house party only to have to play games and talk about property all afternoon. Some might enjoy that kind of thing but I work on the basis that having a gathering where the conversation is pre determined is likely not to suit everyone and probably be quite self indulgent.

YABVU!!!

I had baby showers with DC1 & DC3. Both were lovely surprises. 1st one was organized by DH. It was a special time for me to spend with close girlfriends.

A very special friend arranged a morning tea for DC3. I was so touched by the thought and consideration of everybody. A truly special time.

If a woman can't mark the impending arrival of her baby with close friends - I am not sure what this world is coming to.

A sense of community, excitement, joy and friendship were the overriding features of my baby showers and I wouldn't change them for the world.

A great shame that DC2 didn't qualify - as we were in the UK for his birth

I never knew the object of a BS was to talk about babies

Not sex toys then??

baby shower novice

knickersnotpanties

I have not said a girl shouldn't mark the arrival of a newborn far from it.

Meal out with girlfriends/guyfriends, chating to mum to be how she's feeling= great.....
Exclusively female twee, gift listing, baby game playing, incessant baby talk= dreadful.

Exclusively female twee, gift listing, baby game playing, incessant baby talk= dreadful.

YANBU.

However, you are being invited to the wrong parties

They're traditional in America and I think they originally started when mums to be had very little money and the other women in the neighbourhood got together and made baby quilts etc for them. Of course now they have escalated into more sophisticated affairs with more expensive presents being the norm.
I see no reason why they need to be introduced into European culture. They don't serve their original purpose and are just a 'present giving' event to expectant mothers who will get presents anyway when the baby is born.

To each their own. Some like drunken hen and stag weekends away, many abhor that... some like baby showers... some don't.

I am childless, but love chatting about children, have a genuine interest in them (am a childminder so it's a good thing!), but have only been to family/close friends' baby showers for many years as I found it too upsetting going, with us unsuccessfully trying to have a child for over a decade.

If you don't like them, don't go. If you like them, go. Just don't judge others that choose to go/not go. I grew up in SA... EVERYONE has them in South Africa. Have done for decades.