AIBU to think that baby showers are just awful 'parties'

[BenandBolly]

Are they not just present grabbing twee occasions?

And if they are are about celebrating an baby why are men not invited?

I just don't understand why women have them?

Do people actually enjoy them?

Hardly racist to wait until the baby's born to give a gift.

I also think gift lists are grabby too.

How can that be racist if the mum to be is English?

Half my family are American, another lot Afro Caribbean so I am pretty fucked off to be called racist. I am nothing of the sort.

Are birthdays and Christmas 'grabby' too?

Stewiegriffinsmum

Are you saying that there are absolutely no traditions from other countries you don't like? You really like every single tradition from every country? I don't think you do?

I am annoyed that you have not just called me racist but ignorant as well. Unbelievable.

Ghastly twee things designed for cup-cake munchers and money-grabbing feebles.

I also dislike female genital mutilation. Racist?

How about arranged marriage for a young teen?

Birthdays gift lists would be in the major league of grabby.

'Are birthdays and Christmas 'grabby' too? '

The difference is that you exchange gifts on the day, as the event occurs. These showers are for an event in the future.

Oh, memories of lovely Saturday afternoons wasted on some stupid 'shower' because I couldn't think of a good enough excuse not to go . . .

I have a baby shower to go to next week. The mother to be is a lovely lovely person and I don't begrudge buying her a gift in the slightest, unfortunately the majority of the other attendees are boring as hell. It would be a loooong day anyway before taking into account my utter failure at getting myself pregnant.

Dunno what my point is exactly.

ENormasnob

Thank you

If you think they are so shit expat why go? Why be so weak and dishonest? If I don't agree/like things I just don't do it.

I guess I'm weak and racist and got roped into a few, comedy. Still think they are twee, grabby and counting chickens before they hatch. So sue me.

I don't think it is racist, but I understand how SGM (and our other Nth American MNetters) get upset when a traditional occasion from their homeland gets dismissed as 'grabby' and 'tacky'.

How would you like it if American MNetters were to comment negatively on a quirky part of UK life?

German friends of ours were very dismissive of the 'showing of the presents' before the wedding, which is traditional where I live.

Each country has their own traditions. Some of them transcend the shores of their origin, because people like the idea. Some don't.

I am willing to accept that those dissing baby showers have no idea about the origins of these occasions and are being offensive out of ignorance, not out of nastiness.

I quite like the idea actually, cause it means that the mother-to-be gets to join in the party and is not stuck in a bedroom feeding a baby or getting stressed at house load of visitors who turn up after the birth.

"How would you like it if American MNetters were to comment negatively on a quirky part of UK life?"

Personally, I don't think I'd care. Everyone is entitled to an opinion aren't they?

Someone taking offence to something doesn't automatically equate to someone being offensive. In this case, it equates to a completely misread/misunderstood impression of a simple opinion expressed by several people.

Expat I didn't say you were racist and I was a little harsh to you then.

If I was in America or my pal was American then I would attend.

Likewise I have no problem pinning money at a Cypriot wedding or joining in Asian traditions when invited.

To me it seems even worse to adopt the cultural traditions of somewhere just because you can squeeze a bit more out of people. Especially when you have no ties or knowledge of that culture.

I usually give cash as wedding present because I'm lazy.

Wow people are unpleasant on this thread. Each to their own, if you like the idea of a baby shower, have one, if not, don't! Why get so worked up about it? Is it because you think people are arranging an event just to get presents? That seems a very cynical way to look at things, the same would go for weddings then I assume. Just let people do what they want without a bunch of sarcastic comments, and the world would be a much happier place to live.

Disliking something is fair. I think it's the comments like "Are they really tradition though?" that are offensive.

I guess the "Isn't it just grabby?" is fair. As long as you'd say the same about, for example, whole-class parties

scandy

There have much worse comments thrown like racism and weakness and ignorance.

FWIW I have been invited to many many baby showers but not one has been because it's traditional for them. Make of that what you will.

I'm too lazy to do whole class parties yet, so I have no opinion on those! :P

I don't think people have questioned if showers are really traditions, have they? I don't doubt that in some places they are.

Yet another godawful example of the Americanisation of the UK.

Why is adopting traditions from other countries seen as money grabbing?

UK has always adopted traditions from other countries.

Christmas trees from Germany.. and a lot of the other German Xmas traditions such as Xmas markets or advent wreaths are becoming more popular.

Santa Claus isn't British, nor are Christmas Carols (attributed to Francis of Assisi).

Pinatas for birthday parties.

And I don't see the difference between getting presents before or after the birth.

Well said scandy! lots of unpleasantness on this thread, which is a bit sad really. My friend is throwing me a shower in a few weeks and I'm just looking forward to seeing my mates before my baby arrives. After that I'll be home for weeks getting breastfeeding established!

It's not all about the presents and I doubt there will be any cupcakes. I don't get this meanness towards others who do things you personally wouldn't do. They're not hurting you or anyone else are they?! Live and let live and all that.

I don't think that some traditions are superior to others.
It's more that some (grabby) people seem to take advantage of several traditions per happy event

Such as baby shower/gifts after birth/christening gift list
Or bridal shower/kitchen tea/hen party/wedding present list
So that they end up with maximal attention as well as stuff

It's exhausting

MmeLindor, adopting traditions from other countries is not seen as money grabbing. This is not about adopting traditions. This is what I think is causing a bit of bad feeling on this thread.

This is a simple question of whether people like baby showers or not. Very little, at least from my perspective, to do with where they originate from.

The majority of the uk have adopted those traditions. And they are not squeezing gifts out of friends and family.

My english friend is expecting her fourth. A shower is planned that she knows about and will help arrange. She is asking for money or gift vouchers only as she has everything for the baby.

How can anyone think that is not grabby?