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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

mothers who plan to bottle feed should take in their own milk

307 replies

thebeesnees79 · 29/09/2012 13:12

If a woman decided prior to baby being born they shouldn't expect the hospital to provide bottles and milk they should bring their own?
Why should the nhs give out milk? aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
thebeesnees79 · 29/09/2012 19:59

Thanks gold ship I will eat nothing as I don't deserve food

OP posts:
Original poster
thebeesnees79 · 29/09/2012 20:03

sookie I agree breast feeding support is shockingly bad. I felt totally alone after giving birth to my son and he wouldn't latch (I had morphine very late on and he was so sleepy)

OP posts:
sookiesookie · 29/09/2012 20:07

Thanks gold ship I will eat nothing as I don't deserve food according to you, op, newborns don't deserve it either.

Provide your own meal and save the NHS a few quid.

When BF support is correct and actually helps and support, maybe this debate could be redone.

Its like when we are told more people should use public transport tp get to work. If I used the public transport system here, I would always be late. Its not fit for purpose. BF support is not fit for purpose.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 29/09/2012 20:07

I truely wanted to bf my first. But I was left on my own for two hours after the birth. After that, any attempt to help me feed was rushed and I was made to feel an inconvenience.

When I was home three days I even aske the community MW to help me again. She was great. But by the time that happened DD was already used to bottles and it was impossible.

I feel like I was forced to ff because of their lack of care. It was so shocking that it ended up being a HCA who gave my baby her first bottle because I was so exhausted and weak.

This time I want to cut out that stress and maybe try the first feed. Then switch to ff. I resent any notion that mothers who choose to ff should be penalised or looked down on.

FWIW OP I can see where you are coming from. But I dont agree.

sookiesookie · 29/09/2012 20:07

OP if you agree, how can you say ff should not be provided. if women can not get the support to bf?

usualsuspect3 · 29/09/2012 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harvestvestibule · 29/09/2012 20:16

if any baby is burned or gets a tummy bug or suffers through frmula being made up incorrectly the nhs would be liable.if i were the hospital policy maker i'd plujp for bottles of ready made formula

Original poster
thebeesnees79 · 29/09/2012 20:17

but I never said formula shouldn't be provided did i? Only that if you were choosing to not breast feed that you should take your own. I know support is poor, I waited with a crying baby for help also and it took me a good 8 weeks to feel confident about feeding. countless phone calls to lll

OP posts:
Fairylea · 29/09/2012 20:17

Don't even have the will to construct a decent reply to such a daft post.

qo · 29/09/2012 20:22

"according to you, op, newborns don't deserve it either."

I'm sorry that isn't at all what the op was getting at, and if people can't see that then just wow!

What a lot of bizarre responses, I'm incredulous

apostropheuse · 29/09/2012 20:23

Our local large maternity hospital still provides everything milk for babies - and nappies and cream too actually. I believe a few sanitary pads are supplied too.

Epidurals, unless for c-sections, aren't actually essential, so should those not be offered to the mother? By your reasoning, perhaps mothers who go into labour knowing they're going to ask for an epidural should pay for it? Mothers who want a water birth - should they be charged for heating up the pool for the water - after all it isn't really essential. The same for any form of medical pain relief. After all it's natural to give birth - women do it in the fields every day eh? (I am of course just making a point here, although I never had an epidural I did have some lovely entonox and pethidine on a couple of occasions!)

No of course not! These mothers have chosen something that isn't normally necessary for them or their child's wellbeing, but it's their choice and we as taxpayers support that choice through our taxes. I have no problem whatsoever also supporting a mother's choice to bottle feed and for her infant to be given basic sustenance in hospital. Just as I have no problem with the mother any pain relief she wants.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 29/09/2012 20:23

Yes, but my choice to ff is a direct result of the dire care I had the first time.

But in hospital I will be looked down on for that choice.

I dont think it matters whether its a choice or not really. Milk should be provided for the very fact that straight after childbirth no woman should be expected to worry about sterilising bottles and making up feeds.

If you cant have a bit of a rest in hospital after your body going through major trauma theres a problem.

lepetitchoufleur · 29/09/2012 20:28

from my experience (DS and I spent the first 2 months of his life in hospital) the nhs really appreciate it if you bring your own if you want to ff (same with nappies etc.) but they have ready made for those that don't have any and find themselves having to ff / want to ff. I think the breast feeding support varies from area to area. The medial staff at my hospital were stunning and would bend over backwards to help you BF and give you the support / atmosphere whatever that you needed / wanted but also very non-judgy if you didn't want to BF. Ironically the actual in hospital bBF support group were rubbish. LLL however are awesome.
Of course they're going to ask that you help out and bring your own if you know you're going to want to FF but OF COURSE they would never leave a baby hungry! I believe a lot of hospitals offer Breast milk from donor mums for situations where this is necessary / appropriate etc.

qo · 29/09/2012 20:29

apostropheuse what a well written and thought out post, at least someone knows how to debate the other side without resorting to being rude and/or (dare I say it?) "frothing"

CherryBlossom27 · 29/09/2012 20:31

My nearest hospital already asks people to bring in milk if they are planning to formula feed, but provide milk if for whatever reason the baby needs formula.

PickledFanjoCat · 29/09/2012 20:31

Humans get fed in uk nhs hospitals.

End of story for me.

Original poster
thebeesnees79 · 29/09/2012 20:32

qo thanks.
I am not getting into a debate about epidurals & water births etc. I think every mother should have the pain relief they need and the after care they need. If struggling or the mother is too tired after the birth/milk doesn't come in etc then of course the baby should have milk in what ever form needs be. I can't believe people would think I would say no formula should be given at all :(
it makes me out to be a horrible person

OP posts:
qo · 29/09/2012 20:34

OP I think you ought to just walk away now, as I don't think you're going to get the reasoned debate that you wanted judging by some replies.

It's a valid talking point and I can see where you're coming from re cost cutting (but then it helps that I understand the point you were trying to make!)

Original poster
thebeesnees79 · 29/09/2012 20:35

I am actually quite upset at how my words have been twisted and misconstrude. Maybe I am over sensitive being heavily pregnant.

OP posts:
PickledFanjoCat · 29/09/2012 20:37

It would only be a bad thing for breastfeeding. People would feel they had to bring it just in case. Then if support is lacking it would all be there. It would give no incentive to anyone wavering to try.

It's a bully boy tactic.

Original poster
thebeesnees79 · 29/09/2012 20:37

thank you qo I honestly have no problem with mums who ff. My daughter went onto a bottle at 6 months (2nd baby)

OP posts:
qo · 29/09/2012 20:40

It's posted in AIBU so of course that makes you fair game for insults, rudeness and exaggerations, did you not know that? Grin

And to be fair, there are quite a few reasoned responses as well - try not to take it to personally :)

sookiesookie · 29/09/2012 20:43

but I never said formula shouldn't be provided did i? yes you did. your point is formula should not be made available for babies whose mothers are choosing to ff.

You are choosing to have your baby in a hospital and choosing to eat there. Take your own food. Would save the NHS a fortune Grin

sookiesookie · 29/09/2012 20:48

I think every mother should have the pain relief they need and the after care they need. except if they choose to ff.

The pain relief argument is very valid. You are saying that because something is a choice it shouldn't be provided. Epidurals are sometimes a choice, pain relief is a choice, infact using the hospital facilities at all to give birth is a choice. You don't have to have children nor use a hospital.

The fact is the NHS is meant to provide the same level or care for everyone. So EVERYONE should get fed. When the NHS starts saying 'except when.....' we are starting down a slippery slope.

It becomes unequal.

usualsuspect3 · 29/09/2012 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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