Just to clarify a few things.
When he said 'I'm not black', he was referring to me. I said he was being disrespectful to ds and I by not answering and he was insinuating I was 'talking as though I were black', he hasn't ever said anything like that before.
I wasn't 'pestering' him, he left my house yesterday morning and I hadn't spoke to him all day, the only reason he wasn't here was because he needed to be over his end for work, I could have gone over there but chose not to, I wouldn't have even spoke to him last night except ds being poorly and I though he would have liked to speak to ds too. I don't use my child 'illness' as an excuse for anything. Dp is round so much that when he's not it doesn't even occur to me to text him most of the time he usually just texts good night and that's it really. All I did was call him once, no answer and he text saying 'what do you want x is round having a beer', I called again thinking perhaps his phone was on silent the first time, no answer so I text 'ds woke up crying with a temperature he wondered where you are so I said he could say hi', his response was to say 'well he can't'. I basically said something along the lines of 'what the fuck's up with you', he said 'I'll ring you in an hour, if I must', to which I said 'how dare he be so disrespectful to us', he text that 'disrespect you, you're not black, and if I keep on I'm ruining my chance of seeing him tomorrow'. I told him where to go came on here and went to bed.
differentname what an utterly horrible thing to say, basically because we don't live together and ds isn't 'his' nothing matters? It doesn't quite work like that, he knew me for a long time before we started going out, he knew I had a son and the situation. He chose to get involved in that and get involved in ds life by introducing ds to his family, he's even suggested ds call him dad which ds does at times. No we don't live together but he spends more of his time at my house than his own miserable empty house where he can't even be bothered to hoover or wash up because he say it doesn't feel like 'home', mine does, he says it's too expensive to keep and he wants to rent it out and move in with us. We go on all our holidays together, go shopping together, eat together, it's not as though he's supposed to be just a casual fling. He comes to ds school parents evening, he baths him, puts him to bed so how dare you suggest because he didn't make ds he has no commitment, because morally he does.
Funny because when we talk to women who get into relationships with men with children we don't have the same attitude.
I know exactly what's wrong with him, same as always has been he wants the best of both worlds, he wants the family life when it suits when he wants us all to go on holiday or on a day out, or someone to eat his Sunday roast with, but he wants to be able to just say fuck off when he wants to, which isn't very often but it's not on. This is also a pattern that every time it's his 'working weekend' he turns into a complete nasty peice of work, a couple of months ago he called me a prick over something similiar then was full of apologies the next day. He also acts like an idiot when he's around this mate. They act like kids I'll give an example. His friend text him something like 'you're my hero, fast car, bike, tidy bird, own house', they're always texting eachother calling eachother hero and stuff.