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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be at my wits end on how to get theset texts to stop?

79 replies

Lambzig · 28/09/2012 16:50

I am currently 33 weeks pg with DC2.

When I was pregnant with DD (now 2.5), I found out very late in the pregnancy that I would not be able to breastfeed due to medication I am on and need to take every day (consultant assumed I knew and no-one discussed until 38 weeks). I was absolutely devastated at the time and it stopped me going out of the house when she was very little as I was ashamed to be ff in front of my bf friends (who btw were amazingly supportive when they found out).

Obviously, this time I know that I wont be able to BF and although I really explored with my doctor and my midwife if there was any way around it or the possibility of taking a break from the medication, but its not possible and although it saddens me, at least I am expecting it this time.

In the past three days I have been bombarded with texts (25 and counting) from the hospital (the same dept where my midwife sits), demanding (they really are written very pushily) my attendance at breastfeeding workshops. After the first few, I rang up and asked to be take off their list as I would not be attending. They said yes, but this has been ignored and more texts came. I spoke to my midwife yesterday who apologised and said she would sort it, yesterday, but another 8 texts today so far. I am finding it really distressing as its a constant reminder of my failure.

Have just called the number again and asked again for the texts to stop as I would not be attending and got a very aggressive person on the phone who said "dont you think sparing the time to get the best for your unborn child is important, or dont you care?". I didnt feel like explaining, so put the phone down and burst into tears.

How can I get this to stop?

OP posts:
catstail · 29/09/2012 20:24

op, i dont know if this helps - but can you take in those single use bottles and teats?

also, is use of a milk bank or say the first 6 weeks an option?

YouMayLogOut · 29/09/2012 21:15

YANBU, that's completely out of order. Angry on your behalf.

YouSmegHead · 29/09/2012 21:53

Do they still have a board where they put the basic urgent info, could you ask it's put on there in some way?

Original poster
Lambzig · 30/09/2012 14:31

Hi, sorry I didnt come back to this, I managed to give myself food poisoning on Friday night and spent yesterday disastrously pukey.

Thank you for your advice. The texts continue, another 7 now, at least it is so ridiculous now that its not upsetting any longer. Also, they cant mean to be sending so many so it must be a glitch (bet they are still charging the NHS though). Planning to get on the phone to anyone I can think of complaining tomorrow including PALS.

There seems to be four versions of the texts. Two say you are required to attend a breastfeeding workship, please call this number to arrange your booking (the one where the woman was rude) and the other two list the available dates/times.

The presterilised and single use aptamil is what the hospital provides. There arent any facilities for sterilising, let along making up feed, so couldnt even use the pre-made milk if I took in my own. Ceeveebee I didnt know you can get those single use bottles as would definitely take my own in - where can you get them from?

OP posts:
thebeesnees79 · 30/09/2012 14:33

you are not a failure!! I would phone again and if it still doesn't stop log a complaint with pals (if you have a pals in your trust) Its out of order and bully tactics.

thebeesnees79 · 30/09/2012 14:35

sorry x posted with you! Pals is your best bet, they are very good. hope you get it sorted out x

MammaTJisWearingGold · 30/09/2012 14:39

Never mind PMing their number, post it on here so we can ALL ring them and take the harrassment to another level!!

MmeLindor · 30/09/2012 14:52

I tried the single use bottles, and they were not great. Might be better now - but at the time I tried them, there was just one teat size and it was too big for DS.

Could you not get an steriliser and bottles and do it yourself? Even if you have to get a big bottle of water to fill up the steriliser with -- would be worth looking into.

Hope you get some peace from the texts - sounds like there is a glitch, cause even those who were intending to bf wouldn't need that many reminders.

OxfordBags · 30/09/2012 14:53

Can I just say, as an extended Bfer myself, that you are in no way, shape or form, a failure and that this harassment over breastfeeding is outrageous and unacceptable. You are clearly a very thoughtful, caring mother and you must not let what is probably some idiotic computer glitch that no-one can be bothered to fix make you feel bad about yourself. Love is more important than what sort of milk a child receives and you'll be giving your LO all the very best of that.

Can you get some of the ready made-up bottles and cartons to take in? They are available in all supermarkets and would mean there's one less hassle for you. I would also ask to speak to someone on a senior level on the antenatal team to ask a) why this situation has been allowed to go and to demand an apology and reassurance it won't happen to anyone else and b) to explain the horrid situation with bottle feeding for you last time and seek more assurances that you won't be treated so badly again.

Original poster
Lambzig · 30/09/2012 15:07

I will be in for three days and there is no kitchen or place to wash up bottles, so doing it myself probably isnt an option. Single use bottles worked quite well for feeding DD (the hospital supplies aptamil), it was just the absolute hassle in getting them, so if I could take my own in, it would be better as I would not have to run around in the night and DH could hassle on my behalf during the day.

A quick google means I can only find Cow & Gate ones though.

I will be speaking to my midwife on Tuesday and will raise all this with her as it really is ridiculous.

OP posts:
MmeLindor · 30/09/2012 15:09

In German hospitals, they provide single use bottles complete with formula. Not sure if you can get them here, but worth a try.

MmeLindor · 30/09/2012 15:14

this is what I used

You just screw the lid with the teat on it.

Perhaps ask your midwife if you can get something similar here?

Tiredmumno1 · 30/09/2012 15:22

OP you can get the bottles with the teats from boots, Asda website and mothercare, you can get sma gold and cow & gate I think Smile

cocolepew · 30/09/2012 15:24

Boots do the cow and gate and sma complete bottles and teats sets.

cocolepew · 30/09/2012 15:24

Xpost Smile

Tiredmumno1 · 30/09/2012 15:26

Smile coco

and they do aptamil

FloppyWire · 30/09/2012 15:31

Lambzig You can get these in Mothercare

They've been absolutely awful to you. I seriously hope you complain as much as you can. This is the sort of thing that can cause terrible PND (bitter voice of experience)

Original poster
Lambzig · 30/09/2012 15:45

Tiredmumno1 thats just what i need so that I can use some hospital and some my own. Thank you.

OP posts:
Tiredmumno1 · 30/09/2012 15:47

No problem lambzig, I hope everything goes really well for you Smile

And I hope you manage to get the texts to stop coming your way, good luck

MmeLindor · 30/09/2012 17:11

oh, that is great. Glad that similar is available here.

Now you just need to get rid of the texts, and you are set.

How are you feeling now? Food poisoning is no fun in pregnancy

ceeveebee · 30/09/2012 18:23

Ah I see someone has already linked to the boots Aptimil bottles.
Problem with readymade cartons is no fridge to store in, newborn baby will not need 200ml! So the prefilled bottles will be much better. Best of luck

ChicMama25 · 30/09/2012 18:29

Recommend badbride's suggestion of calling the press office. Guardian Money called HSBC Press Office on our behalf when they were ruining our life with their incompetence over house purchase. They pretty quickly made us a priority.

Mia4 · 30/09/2012 20:41

This (below) may help, but each mobile network has a number you can report spam or harassment too.

www.blockem.co.uk/support-android.html

Mia4 · 30/09/2012 20:42

Also forgot to add, write a letter/email of complaint regarding the texts and that awful person.

nickeldaisical · 01/10/2012 12:22

that's the carton

ah, i've been trying to find that one that Tired linked - it's a pack of 6, that she linked. all ready to go.
i was confused because it looked like one for £8.99 Shock
but it's 6 bottles.
that's one day, though, I think.

cow and gate does the starter pack too

i can't think of any more baby milk manufacturers...