To be doubly doubly fucked off about exs new baby now she's born and he took my baby name!

[washingonawednesday]

That's just it in a nutshell! Dickhead not only knocked up the ow within 6 months of us splitting after leaving me with tiny baby a). His new daughter has just been born and hes called her the name we'd picked for our son if he'd been a girl.

I despair of that man.

And I'm really REALLY fucked off about everything to do with this!

FUCK!!!!!!!

Almost forgot! she used the top tier of the original wedding cake as the christening cake too, which I am not sure her fiancé knew about!

I'm surprised to read a post like that from someone calling themselves Karmabeliever!

The innocent bystander in this case would be OPs child, who deserves to have a good relationship with both of his parents and their chosen partners. That is never going to be made easier by the adults concerned being vindictive.

You seem to be thinking that he has purposely used this name to spite you. But what if it really is his favourite name? Also what if she picked the name as it had meaning for her (name of relative) or whatever and he still liked it enough to use it, despite whatever conversations he had with you about it?

My ex named his child a name that is one letter different from my own.
It's not Sara/Sarah, but that's the equivalent.

perplexed is your child also his child?

Does he have two children with basically the same name?

AThing, I think perplexed means that her ex called his child 'perplex', as in a name like her name rather than the name of their child.

That's it Outraged.

Quite flattering really I suppose.

Ex issues there I think! Blimey, i cant believe his DP went for that!

Well I think the OW took the shine off OPs new baby when she was shagging her DP, but hey take the upper road and don't say anything. Interestingly, my two SS's mum named her next two boys she had after my SS's the SAME NAMES as my SS's!!! Needless to say, she hasn't seen my SS's in over 2 years and has since abandoned the next two she had, so maybe she forgot she had used the names before?!

Not reading the rest but is there any way you can let OW know that that is waht you had planned for DC had that been DS?

There's always space for wierd feelings about an ex's new child's name. My dc have a younger sibling, and I don't like the name that was chosen, despite the fact that I love the child and we all get on well. It just feels odd that I don't like the combined names of all of the three children who are siblings when two of them are mine.

I realise that sounds like it makes no sense, but it does to me.

The only thing that would remotely make this less creepy than it is is if the name is a family name. His and or hers.

I still think it's a very weird decision though- pat yourselves on your back posters bleating on abt how 'u don't own names'. Would really be curious how you'd feel in op's shoes.

Thanks Outraged, yes that does make more sense than the way I read it.

Although my Dad did once teach a boy whose father called used his name again for his half brother. Such a dreadful thing to do to a child. :(

YANBU and I would be tempted to say something to the OW, oh such a beautiful name, (name of your DS) would have been called that had he been a girl.

However probably best to say nothing, and actually no reason why you can't still use it if you have a DD in the future.

But then I wouldn't want children by two different partners in the first place

It's more worthy of judging than a persons choice of baby name!

Yes, I will tell my DH what an arse he is for having a child with me after the mother of his other children died.

yanbu to be angry and hurt at all but yabu to direct that anger at the name of an innocent baby. A name is just a name, it doesn't belong to you! Direct your anger where it should go, at your ex himself for his shitty behaviour. That would be totally reasonable and understandable

OP youu are obviously hurt and this is raw.

But - he will think about you everyday of his ds's life. You will not think about him every day.

If you want to sause trouble let the ow know that he wanted your dd to have that name if he was a boy.

It also depends on how unusual the name is, lets say its Kate, then YABU, but, if it is Clementine then you're not.

I don't think it's ever ok to do something out of spite and to just be vindictive.

Let it go.

Next time i saw the ow i would say

"yes its such a nice name, that's what ex and i were going to call our daughter if we had one."

With an innocent smile.

I knew someone who was the son of a serial shagger. My friend, like all serial shagger's many sons strewn about the place, had the same name. We're talking about maybe 7 men, all called the same thing. I suppose it meant that on the rare occasions serial shagger turned up to see his son, he didn't forget what the poor mite was called.

It is really irritating and you're allowed to shout here.

Some of these stories are

OP I'd say something to your ex about it, but not to the OW. Who knows what lies he spun to her about how your relationship was over etc. He is the devil of the piece IMO.

Smeghead. at the woman reusing all the stuff from her first wedding. You've got to hand it to her. At least she is frugal. You can imagine her saying "Waste not want not." Hilarious!

Cleavage.

What a weirdo!

No-one owns names. They are invested with meaning. The 'woulda called my baby that if...' is you attaching significance into the name because in those days your relationship was special and the name 'stodd for' a dream of an ideal baby in an ideal relationship. That didn't happen.

He fucked you over; that you're bothered by this name business suggests you're not properly over him. Stay dignified, don't mention it, move on. If you need to, imagine that ideal baby being touched by a fairy wand like a bubble in your head, and going 'pop'. She disappears, his new woman's baby is NOT your ideal taken away it is probably just him fucking up his new life.

Find a new dream?