to talk to headmaster about skirt lengths?

[Redhillibilly]

DD is in Yr 1. I have noticed that quite a few of the older girls are wearing very short skirts and I am thinking about speaking to the HT about it but don't want to come across as a wally.

My thinking is that a) it is just not appropriate and b) I would imagine that over the course of a year, once the cool girls start wearing short skirts, others may wish to follow to look cool; I don't want that pressure being around at primary school.

So, would I be a total wally to make a comment and if not, what's the best way to go about it?

YABU if it is primary school.

There are a couple of secondaries near me where the girls wear those skirts that are actually boob tubes with opaques. You can quite often clearly see their arse-cheeks (I'm sitting in car they're walking across the street so get an unwelcome view). When they're sitting at their desks in class it must be worse.

Also leggings that become see-through because they're worn so tight, just ugh.

It is their own choice but they do look fecking terrible, or maybe I'm just an old fossil.

Primary schools can enforce uniform (and other posters have linked the relevant bit of the DofE website to other threads where this has been wrongly asserted).

They simply can not. If you look at the section on non-compliance with a school's uniform policy it can only be applied to secondary school pupils.

Sookie - they have a school bag. You can only bring in a school bag.

Do you know what OP? Go for it.
Tell them you feel concerned there MAY be peer pressure and the you FEEL its sexualising children. With no proof or facts, to someone who actually (depots what they say about strict policy) Be scan not do anything.
Because your not listening. It was hypothetical. If a certain bag was the 'in' bag, or lets make it shoes. A particular brand was the 'in' brand, would you ask the school to ban them?
I feel you know yabu, but are being evasive so you don't have to admit it.

Or maybe you really do want a cause to fight. However I suggest to find out if there is a cause to fight first.

Redhill why are your views more important than other parents views though? You send your daughter to school in what you see fit and others make the same choices for their children.

How would you feel if the school started demanding that children wear short skirts because some parent had kicked off?

You need to educate your child on your views because you can't change the outside world and you can't make everyone do what you want all the time.

What if a parent went into school demanding that children can't have white bread in their lunchboxes because their child isn't allowed it, or that they can't have a particular brand of jacket beacuse their child isn't allowed one. Where would it stop.

You should concentrate on your own child and less on everyone elses.

People keep making assumptions that the OP is unable to teach her child why she shouldn't be bothered by peer pressure, that she can't teach her kids how to deal with it but she already said that her DD isn't a follower of the croud and used the example of her not wearing pink.

It's all very well saying it's nothing to do with her daughter at this stage but if the OP is thinking of mentioning it is better to do it now than before it does affect her DD - to be pre-emptive? Someone asked whether OP would be willing to pay for replaced skirts. If she made the comment now perhaps the current cohort could remain in their belts skirts and the rules could be properly applied next year with plenty of notice.

We have the same problem at my daughters school. Older have definitely come back this term in short skirts and they definitely haven't grown out of them because they are probably not long enough for a 5 yr old!

OP, if you think you can phrase it to not sound like a busybody I'd say something, especially if you can say it quite casually rather than making formal appointment over it. I'd be interested to hear what sort of response you get.

Sookie, the more I think about the more sure I am that IANBU - thanks for helping me clarify

Sorry the more she I am that she is not being unreasonable!

Of course the op isn't listening.
At the end of the day, my teenagers tell me everyone has an iPhone/beats headphones/unlimited access to FB/ps3

My DCs don't. They may want it because they see it. Your daughter, in 5 years time may want a short skirt, or make up or a designer handbag or high heels. But you are the parent. So you say no.

IME DCs are surrounded by people who do things differently to their own family. And it may look cool for a minute. But that's it.

If you are worrying that your dd will want a short skirt because she sees others wearing it, and therefore you want it banned, let me ask you a question. If there are, in a few years time a couple of children who stay up late, have an iPad and never do any homework and your dd says to you "well x goes to bed at 11, has an iPad and never does her homework. I want to do the same" will you want that child banned from the school in case they influence your dd?

IME DCs are surrounded by people who do things differently to their own family. And it may look cool for a minute. But that's it.

i LOVE THAT STATEMENT tantrums

Unsure why I had it in caps though

I kind of understand where the OP is coming from. At DD1's primary they all wore summer dresses in the summer term up until Y5 and then suddenly it became uncool and you had to wear short winter skirts if you weren't to be the subject of merciless teasing. It's all very well to say you just say no to your child but it's hard to make them look so different to the crowd.

One of DD's friends went to a school where they said "summer term, summer dress". Despite it being a state school, that was the rule. The girls looked lovely - like children and not mini teens- right up to the end of Year 6. DD1 was so envious. She wanted to wear a summer dress but it would have been social suicide. Yes, in an ideal world she would wear whatever she wanted but it takes a strong child to do this.

I might just mention it to the head. It's quite nice if a school sets rules that stop this kind of peer pressure creeping in until they get to secondary (where you won't avoid the wearing a skirt like a belt!).

So what about designer trainers? What if everyone else has designer trainers and you can only afford shoe zones?

What if every one in yr 6 has a FB account and you don't want your dc to have one? Shall we ban FB, designer trainers, rather than send our DCs into "social suicide"

FFS

By law primary school aged children do not have to wear uniform, I tend to be quite impressed when kids come to school in any uniform.

Earlier thread about primary schools and enforcing uniform, with links that show it is legal and permissible.

One of DD's friends went to a school where they said "summer term, summer dress". Despite it being a state school, that was the rule.

Only because the parents agreed with it. Had 10 girls decided they didn't want dresses and they were backed up by their parents they would not have been able to do anything. If I had a 10yr old girl and they said 'all in summer dresses' that is what I would send her in-however not everyone is like me.
OP just needs to send her DC in what she deems suitable and hope that other parents are of similar mind.

maybe you need to post this in the feminism topic if you dont want all the pro porn nutters wading in

Pro porn nutters?
Have you actually read any of the responses?

Does it make people pro porn to point out that the ops dd is going to be surrounded by peer pressure all her childhood and that the op cannot ban everything she disagrees with?

Or, did I somehow miss the numerous post who said yes let year 6 wear short skirts because we love the idea, it's free porn innit?

Get a grip.

the peer pressure comes from the porn culture we are living in

it is very reckless of parents not to recognise this and try to counter it

margery I think you mean 'maybe you should post this in the feminist section if you want everyone to agree with you'

Pro porn nutter because my daughter shows her knees off in a skirt....I've heard it all now.

Yes, that's exactly right.

So when my dc want to stay up late, have an iPhone etc that's due to porn culture. Stupid me.

This is getting a bit silly.

The OP simply asked if we thought she would be a bit OTT to moan about short skirts at primary and personally I think she would.

Peer pressure and feeling fashionable and slightly grown up amongst Y6 girls is a tricky subject.

As a Y2 parent they look daft and you wonder why they don't wait until senior school, surely they are still little girls.

Then it's your DD in Y6 and you realise that they're little girls scared stiff of not being little girls any more.

They are far far cleverer than we give them credit for. They know that this is their last chance to play at being grown up, to toy with following their peers or striking out on their own. Most Y6 classes have been together a long time. They've made friends and fallen out a hundred times. They have only one teachers buttons to press and one teachers rules to test. In their heart of hearts they know this will never be the case again.

Wise Y6 teachers and wise junior HTs know this. Both DDS had the same Y6 teacher she was amazing at ensuring her classes had space to grew up, but not take any of it to the point where people got hurt.

You might as well let them have their moment - next year in year 7 they will very small fish and called 'little girls'. Their mothers will be looking at year 9 and saying 'would I be a wally to have a word with the Head about...............'

Good grief!! We're some of you ever young?? Pushing the boundaries is normal behaviour, conforming to everything parents say is definatly not.

Sorry op I would advise you to mind your own business, it's up to parents how their children dress, for me personally I pick my battles and am very laid back re what my 4 choose to wear.

Absolutely hate school uniform anyway as stifles creativity..

Stick that up a short skirt.