to talk to headmaster about skirt lengths?

[Redhillibilly]

DD is in Yr 1. I have noticed that quite a few of the older girls are wearing very short skirts and I am thinking about speaking to the HT about it but don't want to come across as a wally.

My thinking is that a) it is just not appropriate and b) I would imagine that over the course of a year, once the cool girls start wearing short skirts, others may wish to follow to look cool; I don't want that pressure being around at primary school.

So, would I be a total wally to make a comment and if not, what's the best way to go about it?

If my skirt had been too short at the end of year 6 my mother would have said that she wasn't buying another one, it wasn't worth it and it was summer.
Primary schools can't enforce uniform which is probably why they don't specify length.

you could always go to school and measure skirt length, you are being a bit of a loon about this it is a skirt how short is too short really it is nothing to do with you,

My Brownie dress was short too well above the knee I think that was just the length of them

The bottom line is that a state primary school can't enforce school uniform. The Head and governors know this.

Yabu, its none of your business. You can pull the 'i am concerned others will feel they should wear it short' but you are not concerned. You are you going to look like a busy body. Clearly the school/ parents are ok with the skirts.

Here's my hapeth - I don't think it's fair to say this issue 'shouldn't' concern the OP. She's concerned about her DD, and the near future. Those first 4 years at primary fly by, and many of the children in year 5 + 6 these days are VERY - fashion/looks/boy-friend/girl-friend/who's done what with whom yet (:() - driven.

Allot of the girls roll their skirts up/sneak high heels into school/spend break time doing their hair and make up. These are 8/9/10 year olds. The school is aware of it - but there is a feeling of 'monitor it, but lets let the secondary school deal with it in a year or two'.

There should be a policy on uniform, OP, and you will have been given it, or there will be a copy on hand at the office.

Our primary began having to crack down on high heels and short skirts for the girls a couple of years ago. Not least because of the amount of twisted ankles happening due to heel height. We had to introduce a no make up policy too. Most of the kids are on face book and some spend an extraordinary amount of time and effort posting glammed up pics of themselves and widing up the gossip in the evenings. They make their little lives sound like a soap opera when you chat with some of these kids.

Kids are under pressure to be so grown up so young these days. It seemed sad and incredulous to me that we had to be trying to teach such young kids the difference between 'appropriate' clothes for school (and ultimately the work place) and 'appropriate' clothes for home and going out. When i was 8/9/10 ALL my clothes were appropriate for my age.

It's a nightmare trying to get the parents of some pupils on side for even safety aspect of the high heel thing amazingly.

Why are childrens knees so worrying?
I think its concerning that people jump to conclusions about sexualising children.

But, like my post above is saying, it's not just a few grubby knees in ill fitting skirts all having jolly fun in the mud. Some kids in primary school are trying to look like their 16 year old siblings or copying images in the media. It's sad, but it is happening.

Is this more what the OP is fretting about?

Also the OP will not get rid of peer pressure. As her child goes through school there will be the 'in' book bag or the 'in' style of summer dress. These are 2 things we have had in the last year.
Luckily after speaking to dd she didn't want to be the same as everyone.
Overcoming peer pressure is about how the child handles it, not eliminating it. You can't eliminate it.

OP, has it ever occurred to you that it is your job to bring up your daughter to resist peer pressure? And that it is the headteacher's job to run his/her school as s/he sees fit?

If you can't even influence your own daughter in the matter of short skirts in Yr 1, how are you going to cope when she gets to the age of boyfriends and alcohol at parties?

Overcoming peer pressure is about how the child handles it, not eliminating it. You can't eliminate it.

I agree with this peer pressure is always going to be there it is how we as parents handle it, MY dd has a knee length skirt for school and she is 14 but the grief she got for wearing the 'wrong' skirt It wasn't short enough, DD said well I really dont want my arse on show to everybody,

cory has said it better than me.
fluffy people have always wanted to look like celebrities or older siblings etc.
Fashion has always followed that. Look at ten effect twiggy had on hair and mini dresses.
Ot is not a new phenomenon, even though people insist it is.

It's dead right that peer pressure is here to stay.

I just felt sorry for the OP being told it's not her business to be concerned. I'm concerned. Although my DDs are out of primary now - we are going through the secondary school bit.

Surely it's the school's place to be shielding the kids from the peer pressure during the school day to some extent, by having a policy on uniform.

Problem is primary school kids have so many growth spurts. A parent who is super organised and buys the uniform at the start of the holidays may well find that the lovely knee length skirt she bought in August is half way up the thigh by September! DD1 is in year2 and her and all her friends have suddenly turned into these leggy beings who will all need new uniform by flaming christmas...
DS is at high school, if the girls wear skirts they have to wear a regulation school one with the badge embroidered on it. It's supposed to make sure the skirts are all the same length but they roll them up.. As I did, my mum did and I bet most other people on here did too.
OP, you're a wee bit U, the school can't enforce a uniform policy and I would imagine that the teachers have many other things to think about..

My dd is 11 and just gone up to secondary but last year her school skirt was short. It started off at a decent length and just got shorter and shorter due to her growing and my tumble drying. I don't think it has much of a knock on affect, those parents and children who prefer longer length skirts just stuck to their guns. One of my daughters friends is the complete opposite of her when it comes to clothes and was still happy to wear a school summer dress in year 6 but you'd have to sedate mine to get her in one, neither influenced the other. Thankfully dd is happy in trousers for secondary at the mo, which solves he problem completely.

I don't think that people are listening. A state primary can't enforce uniform. You can say 'no heels' but if the parent sends them in silly shoes the only thing you can do is give them a pair of old trainers for playtime or say they will have to stay off climbing equipment.
Secondary school can enforce it.
The most sensible thing is to bring them up to resist peer pressure.

True, exotic, the most a primary school can do is have guidelines as to what they would like the children to wear. The op's headteacher is obviously aware of the length of skirt the girls wear but can do nothing about it, whether he likes it or not. Going to the ht will achieve nothing, as his hands are tied.

Depends on how short the skirts are tbh, in our local comp. the girls were wearing skirts that were shorter than their blouses, in my opinion that is too short (year 7), - they solved it by banning all skirts. I would ask what the school policy is, lots of junior schools don't even have a uniform and I agree that it's better to teach your kids not to bow to peer pressure but there should be some common sense applied.

The skirts I am talking about are barely past their bottom which is why I noticed it. I am usually rushing around the school with DD and pushchair so don't usually notice what people are wearing but since the start of this term I have been really surprised.

I am not seeing the children in a sexual way. I don't suppose for a second that they are seeing themselves as sexual either, they are presumably trying to look cool/older and cooler/older teenagers these days don't wear very much. I don't think school is the place for fashion, if it is why bother with uniform at all?

I see the general consensus is that IABU. However, I notice that some think that it has nothing to do with me because DD is in Yr1. So, should I only be concerned by issues that affect my children directly at that exact moment? Nothing would change ever if we all took that view surely.

I appreciate that it is my role to help DD to handle peer pressure e.g. she is often the only girl at a party not wearing pink and doesn't feel like the odd one out.

I think I will say something at an opportune time - perhaps just asking what the policy is. I can't find a uniform policy as such on the website, just a uniform list.

I would have more of a problem with children who are not yet in high school being allowed to wear make up!

Depends on the skirt.

At my DD's school, i think the rule is no more than 4inches above the knee.

I past five year 6 girls this morning in the playground who were hanging upside down on the climbing frame with their skirts around their ears...just having a nice relaxed chat like

You've got to love childhood innocence.

*Passed

What fluffyraggies said.
Some of the time, this is not girls with a 'growth spurt' it is girls who are deliberately trying to look 13/14/15. And some do!
You can really tell the difference between the 'tweenagers' and those who are just little girls in short skirts.

I don't think you're BU to ask the question OP.