To not go to my parents for Christmas

[Bubblemoon]

Every year since I met my dh we've gone to my parent's home for Christmas lunch. And I'm talking well over 20 years now. My dh has gone along with this, but for a few years now we've had a really yearning to just stay at home and do Christmas our way. He doesn't have family on his side so we've no obligations there.

Dh and I have both had a tough year and have decided this year is the year we man up and do it our way. When I told my now elderly parents they were not happy and laid the guilt on really thick. Am I being unreasonable to want Christmas our way for the first time ever?

Nope, as soon as I got married I stopped going anywhere for xmas, I made it clear DH and DC are my family and my priority and have spent blissful family xmas days with no parents/siblings/neices and nephews to worry about or cater for and no compromises about tv or dinner. Suggest a day either before or after to have a chrismas with them, it doesn't have to be the actual day.

first of all YANBU

Why have you always gone there for christmas?

I am currently in process of stopping the same situation happening in my family. You have a choice, you put up with the guilt trip and do your own thing by yourselves.

Or you do a compromise of them coming to you.

Just make sure you have some other time with them - they will of course be feeling a bit bereft, and probably miss seeing the children, so be nice about it.

You are not at all U but it is tricky for your parents who probably imagined this would continue till the end!
Say it will be at your house, but possibly invite them? Than it can still be your way. We are having Christmas by ourselves this year, am really looking forward to it!

After years of going to MIL and family coming to our's I'd had enough, said to my DH now we have children I want it to be our christmas, no more having the children unable to play with their opened presents because we have to go to MIL because she wants us there early to go to church with her, no more running around after eighteen people all day why they eat and drink themselves silly! we have done this now for a couple of year's and rather than dreading christmas I now enjoy it, family were none too please, but tough!