Too feel devastated for the wife of the teacher who has run off to France with his 15 year old pupil?

[chipsandmushypeas]

What on earth went through his head when he decided to do this?! The poor woman has taken all her social networks down out of humiliation I presume. link

Crazy.

It isn't a red herring. There's nothing more traumatic for a child than the divorce of their parents. The trauma, even when parents say 'oh, my children coped just fine with it' often continues into adulthood. There have been numerous longterm studies done, over several decades, and they always show that whilst parents like to think of their children as hardy resilient and 'getting on with it', the emotional effect of divorce is serious, far reaching, far worse than the parents want to admit because it makes them feel guilty
I grew up without a Father, (he died) and it had a massively negative effect on me.

and if you dig deeper into the background stories of boys and girls who are preyed on by their teachers in this way, they always have some childhood trauma or other, which left them vulnerable and open to exploitation.

I think there are plenty of things more traumatic for a child than the divorce of their parents. What a strange thing to say. Do you just mean it is a common source of trauma among children?

none of us know how stable her life is, or what other factors contributed to this. We're all guessing. I don't think it's helpful to paint her as a teenage tart or paint him as a pantomime villain perv. The truth is somewhere in between.

You seriously think this creepy man-child fantasist will give her a more stable life than she is used to?

I can't believe they've still not been apprehended.

The wedding photos of Forrest and his wife send shivers.....

How could she have three dads? Is it that her dad was the first husband and the mother has remarried twice since? Even then that'd be two dads? The real one and the current step father.

They can't be apprehended, really. If they are in France, they have no reason to charge him with any crime there, they aren't even looking for them. And they could be anywhere anyway.

I have been thinking of my friend throughout this, who had an affair whilst we were in 6th form with one of our teachers (who was more than 20 years older). She had no father, and a mother with a mental illness. She was a prime target, bless her. This has made me so angry for her all over again. It didn't help heal her, it made it worse. In the end, when she was 3 years older and wiser, she dumped him (he stayed with his wife and kids the entire time), but I think the scars remain.

I'm not surprised they haven't been found, TBH. I doubt the story's getting the same sort of coverage in Europe. They're either holed up in some rural backwater or staying on the move. They're either unlikely to get recognised at all or by the time someone makes a report they'll have disappeared again.

I can believe it. I suspect in France this will be minor news. She may have had her hair cut and dyed. I'm not convinced that the big media fuss will get them to return any faster. He in particular has no reason to hurry back now everyone is baying for his blood.
If this was my daughter I'd be quite angry at the way it has been handled.

squoosh, you have absolutely no idea what her home life is like, or what this man is like. Obviously the relationship is wrong, and they shouldn't have left the country like they did. But with stories like this, there are often background issues(running away from difficult family life, abuse, mental health problems etc.) To suggest that children, and teenagers in particular, don't go off the rails during or shortly after divorce and problems associated with 'blended families' is to deny a well documented fact. That doesn't take the blame away from him though. He's a 30 year old man so ultimately is the one to blame..but to pretend that her family background had nothing to do with the situation she found herself in, is naive. How many girls grow up without a Dad, or a succession of Step Dads, some of whom they didn't like or get on with? And how many of those end up in relationships with unsuitable older men when already in their teens? Saying 'it's a red herring' is denial.

Blister, she has her biological dad, then she had the stepdad who is the one that was at the press interviews, but is no longer with her mother, and her mother has remarried again too.

I saw somewhere that the French missing persons unit are engaged in looking for her, and that Interpol has been alerted.

Also, it's just announced that there is to be a press conference about them this afternoon.

Oh right. Thanks for that.

If this was my daughter I'd be quite angry at the way it has been handled.

What would you have wanted them to do differently? (genuine question without agenda, not suggesting you're BU to state that, just curious)

Also, I wouldn't expect there to be much support/coverage on the continent for the case, but I'm surprised the UK investigation doesn't seem to be progressing... Although I appreciate the public won't necessarily be privy to all the details...

autumnlights, you have no idea about her home life either, and you are the one making all sorts of assumptions about it! I think the things you are saying are really nasty and incredibly insulting to her parents and family actually!

Ah. At last I understand all the different surnames going around. I thought it must be her step mum because they didn't have the same name.

I didn't say anything about 'red herrings' or make any comments on her home life.

I do think you are ridiculous to think that this man could possible offer her a 'stable' homelife. He has encouraged her/agreed to her plans to run away to France, encouraged her/agreed to her plans to not get in any contact with authorities or family members. He is a 30 year old married man who has abused his position and developed a relationship with this girl. If she doesn't look back on this episode with deep regret 10 years from now I'll be very surprised.

I heard on the news French Police are treating it as a missing persons case rather than actively a "crime", so may not get as much publicity. Dont know the difference Interpol would make , always sounds serious when they are invovled doesnt it?

And I beg your pardon, I do have an idea of what this man is like. It's pretty clear.