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Original poster

To rehome my dogs?

331 replies

toughdecision · 22/09/2012 22:31

I've NCed for this and apologies in advance for the rambling nature of this post. Am trying not to dripfeed.
DD is 8 months old. My dogs are 9 years old and I've owned them since they were 8 weeks old, they are 5 months apart in age.
One of my dogs has growled and challenged my DD on a number of occasions, she's never bitten anyone before (she has mouthed me when she was a lot younger, when I was grooming her as she hates it. I don't groom her now at all, I send her to the groomers every 2 months for a short clip to keep her coat in check). I'm worried she might bite my DD although she has shown affection towards her as well at times.
I have been removing my DD when the dog has growled/challenged and locked the dogs in their sleeping area. I spoke to a behaviourist at a shelter this week and she said I shouldn't remove my DD as this is sending the wrong message to the dog, that what she is doing is okay, she says I should leave DD where she is and correct the dog's behaviour by banging 2 saucepans above her head and this will show her I'm pack leader. I tried banging a biscuit tin when the other dog was barking incessantly and she did stop but my DD was sobbing because the noise was so loud.
I'm very nervous about not removing DD as I do feel it's putting her at risk.
I'm waiting for the shelter to get back to me as I'd want them to be rehomed together as they've never been apart from each other for longer than a few hours if they are at the groomers separately or at the vets.
At the moment, they don't have much of a life. They spend a lot of time in their sleeping area because of the growling and they never get walked anymore as I can't manage them and the pushchair on my own (I have to go down steps to get out of my house and they are very unruly on the lead) and my DH doesn't feel they need to be walked as they're quite sedate breeds and he thinks they're happy [sceptical]. They used to spend all their time being fussed and loved, now they're just being told to constantly move or get in their bed.
But when I look at them, I can't imagine them not being here or with us, they've been our babies for so long.
I've talked to friends and family in RL and I'm getting very mixed opinions, they all know how we feel about them.
DH doesn't really want to rehome but feels that it's making me very stressed out (which it is) and it would take away that anxiety for me.
I really don't know what to do. I feel guilty for keeping them as their quality of life has decreased as they never get walked anymore and they confined a lot of the time but then I also feel guilty if I rehome them that I've not tried hard enough.
I also can't rehome them separately or get rid of one because they are very attached to one another, when we do take them out if one of us crosses the road before the other and they're separated, they are desparate to get to one another. They are in excellent health for their ages and although they are unruly on the lead, they are small dogs and are very affectionate and friendly (apart from the growling dog with my DD).

OP posts:
Flojo1979 · 22/09/2012 23:11

DH won't walk the dogs? Shock
I'd be rehoming DH not the dogs.
Like others have said, get off your lazy arse and walk them before DH goes to work and when he gets back from work.
You've had them since babies and they r 9 now and u feel nothing for them?
Will u treat your baby this badly in a few yrs too?

Wetthemogwai · 22/09/2012 23:12

Fwiw when I suggested re homing yourself I didn't mean like how specialsnowflake mentioned! I ment trying people you know, friends on friends or family if necessary, not complete strangers but people you can trust

Ullena · 22/09/2012 23:12

And I do have to admit, we found two of our dogs via gumtree so it is possible to rehome to decent people that way but please if you do, then do a homecheck at the very least! We had to answer a lot of questions before we were even allowed to come and see our two, such as can you provide enough exercise, what do you know about this breed, do you know how to socialise a puppy, etc.

Justhadenough · 22/09/2012 23:12

Well would just like to point out that they aren't getting a chance to follow you around the house either because they are 'confined' behind your stairgate so you should be walking them instead.
I am trying not to be harsh but I really love dogs and spent most of my life wanting one and working in dog shelters and it really annoys me that people think they can get rid of them just because they are difficult, when the reason they are difficult in the first place is because the owners can't be arsed or haven't bothered to train them in the first place.

Original poster
toughdecision · 22/09/2012 23:13

Thank you to those that have told me that the pan banging is a bad idea. I didn't want to rehome them myself as I thought a shelter would be better to judge whether a home/owner was suitable to the dogs. No-one in the family can have them.
The lady I spoke to who told me about the pan banging was from an independent rescue that someone told me about.

OP posts:
ImASpecialSnowflake · 22/09/2012 23:13

shih tzus are easy dogs. easy as shit. i need to leave this thread. i despair of people and their disposable pets.

ExitPursuedByABear · 22/09/2012 23:13

Shih tzus are too strong for you. Really?

Are you of small stature?

alistron1 · 22/09/2012 23:15

I'm guessing their routine has totally changed since your DD was born? obviously your DD and her safety is your main priority but before you think about rehoming you need to TRY and get the dogs routine back in place. or a semblance of it. And your DP needs to be on board with that. The dogs may not need a lot of exercise, but they still need stimulation and interaction with you. And please put the saucepans away.

Toughasoldboots · 22/09/2012 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnieLobeseder · 22/09/2012 23:15

Have you tried proper baby carriers rather than Baby Bjorn types? A decent one puts all the weight on your hips enable you to walk the dogs with baby. But I really don't understand why you or your DH can't walk them while the other is home with the baby.

It's normal for dogs to growl at children who annoy them, that's how dogs teach puppies. My dogs still growl at my DDs if they're too rough, but the only time they've ever nipped was when small dogs was heavily stepped on, and I didn't blame him one bit! Buy a playpen, get a gate to keep them separated when you can't watch them together. It's not rocket science.

I have managed to raise 2 children with 2 demanding dogs and walks twice daily.

You are being lazy and defeatist, and your dogs deserve better. Not from some new owner, but from you, the person who adopted them and brought them into your home in the first place.

midori1999 · 22/09/2012 23:15

It doesn't matter how told you about the pan banging, they are wrong. In general, if good things happen when your DD is about the dogs will start to think that DD= good things. That can be walks, treats etc.

And I know it is no laughing matter, but I am Grin at Shih Tzus on steroids....

Original poster
toughdecision · 22/09/2012 23:17

Thanks for your comments, I have to go now, DD has woken up. Goodnight

OP posts:
ImASpecialSnowflake · 22/09/2012 23:17

If you want advice, real advice because you care about your dogs? then listen.

Your dogs pull on the lead because it works for them. They pull, you walk, they are getting what they want. Don't walk when they pull. Stop, call them to heel. Don't walk until they are beside you. They go ahead. Stop. If you have to use food as a bribe then use it to keep them by your side, treat as they walk by you. Don't use "heel" to call them back as they will associate heel with a recall and just come back for heel. Use something like good walk good boy/girl to keep them by you. Its fucking easy. I trained a wild stray border collie to walk to heel after 3 weeks.

Strap your kid into a sling or take 10 mins or so in the garden/yard whatever to have the dogs attached to the pram/stroller on their leads. They learn quick if the rewards are good. If your dogs like food, reward with food. If they like a ball/chew toy, reward with that. Associate the baby and the pram with reward.

ImASpecialSnowflake · 22/09/2012 23:18

These kinds of threads make me really really unhappy.

SnapesOnAPlane · 22/09/2012 23:19

I found this for you - in the mean time whilst you're waiting for the rescue centre to get back to you, how about trying this?
What have you got to lose by trying? :)

Justhadenough · 22/09/2012 23:20

But chances are in a shelter they will be split up or PTS or just end up stuck in the shelter for the rest of their lives.
As Toughasoldboots said it sounds like you had already made up your mind before you came here. In which case your poor dogs are obviously not a part of your family and if you ever think about getting another dog I want you to remember this point and realise that if it gets tough again you going to get rid

ImASpecialSnowflake · 22/09/2012 23:20

Dogs are only difficult because their owners are arseholes. Of course some breeds present more challenges than others but generally, excepting dogs with behavioural problems (usually caused by previous bad owners), it is all about the owner.

TheCalmingManatee · 22/09/2012 23:21

I have two JRTs who pull like they are on steriods, i am considering roller skates :)

I'd be interested to know the circumstances under which the dog is growling aT the child? ARe they warning, "leave me alone" growls? a growl is a warning, - if the dog growls, then take the child away from the dog, the child certainly shouldn't be allowed in the dogs space anyway. It will intimidate the dogs and make them wary of the child. Do they have somewhere to retreat to that is quiet?

OatyBeatie · 22/09/2012 23:21

Good luck, op. I hope you are able to make some changes and have a fresh start with your dogs. I do understand how difficult things can seem when you have a young child and are tired and worried, and I hope you haven't been too knocked back by the vigorous responses on the thread.

Justhadenough · 22/09/2012 23:22

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006mkcy/episodes/guide

That is for you incase you do want to train your dogs at some point rather than rehome.

ImASpecialSnowflake · 22/09/2012 23:24

A growl is a warning, doesn't mean it is a warning of imminent loss of face. It's the human equivalent of a "ahh feck off will ya". It doesn't immediately mean, i'm going to rip your head off and shit down your neck. It means LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A FUCKING MINUTE! Generally, a dog that growls is a far better dog than one who gives no warning.

TheCalmingManatee · 22/09/2012 23:28

I agree with Imaspecialsnowflake, that is a very good point.

SkinnedAlive · 22/09/2012 23:30

If you have a garden then teach them to walk on a lead in the garden while DD sits in her buggy and watches. You MUST have had to take DD with you to the garden while these dogs go to the toilet or have someone watching DD. So what is a 20 min walk added on - or even 10 min one twice a day?

With the right advice (and there are some good books and forums you can ask) it will not take long to train the dogs to walk nicely on leash if you are committed - a few hours or few days max, even if you are not a natural dog trainer. Then you will be able to control them and the buggy with no problems. You can easily teach them to be obedient and to walk on a leash in the flat never mind using a garden.

However all this requires committment to your dogs - which you don't appear to have from what you have said. I can understand maybe you are depressed and if so then I can also understand everything is overwhelming. In that case you need a Dr and to get sorted out, otherwise when your depression lifts you will never forgive yourself over these dogs. As others have said the reality is they will almost certainly be PTS or miserable in a cage for what years of 'life' they have left.

lovebunny · 22/09/2012 23:31

get rid of the dogs.

animals are important and deserve consideration, but no dog should pose a threat to a baby.

a baby is too precious to put at risk.

AnnieLobeseder · 22/09/2012 23:37

Dogs who are treated properly don't pose any risk to babies, lovebunny. Nor are they disposable when babies come along. They deserve more than 'consideration', they deserve love, respect, a stable home, not to be chucked out when the owner can't be arsed to care for them any more.