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Original poster

To rehome my dogs?

331 replies

toughdecision · 22/09/2012 22:31

I've NCed for this and apologies in advance for the rambling nature of this post. Am trying not to dripfeed.
DD is 8 months old. My dogs are 9 years old and I've owned them since they were 8 weeks old, they are 5 months apart in age.
One of my dogs has growled and challenged my DD on a number of occasions, she's never bitten anyone before (she has mouthed me when she was a lot younger, when I was grooming her as she hates it. I don't groom her now at all, I send her to the groomers every 2 months for a short clip to keep her coat in check). I'm worried she might bite my DD although she has shown affection towards her as well at times.
I have been removing my DD when the dog has growled/challenged and locked the dogs in their sleeping area. I spoke to a behaviourist at a shelter this week and she said I shouldn't remove my DD as this is sending the wrong message to the dog, that what she is doing is okay, she says I should leave DD where she is and correct the dog's behaviour by banging 2 saucepans above her head and this will show her I'm pack leader. I tried banging a biscuit tin when the other dog was barking incessantly and she did stop but my DD was sobbing because the noise was so loud.
I'm very nervous about not removing DD as I do feel it's putting her at risk.
I'm waiting for the shelter to get back to me as I'd want them to be rehomed together as they've never been apart from each other for longer than a few hours if they are at the groomers separately or at the vets.
At the moment, they don't have much of a life. They spend a lot of time in their sleeping area because of the growling and they never get walked anymore as I can't manage them and the pushchair on my own (I have to go down steps to get out of my house and they are very unruly on the lead) and my DH doesn't feel they need to be walked as they're quite sedate breeds and he thinks they're happy [sceptical]. They used to spend all their time being fussed and loved, now they're just being told to constantly move or get in their bed.
But when I look at them, I can't imagine them not being here or with us, they've been our babies for so long.
I've talked to friends and family in RL and I'm getting very mixed opinions, they all know how we feel about them.
DH doesn't really want to rehome but feels that it's making me very stressed out (which it is) and it would take away that anxiety for me.
I really don't know what to do. I feel guilty for keeping them as their quality of life has decreased as they never get walked anymore and they confined a lot of the time but then I also feel guilty if I rehome them that I've not tried hard enough.
I also can't rehome them separately or get rid of one because they are very attached to one another, when we do take them out if one of us crosses the road before the other and they're separated, they are desparate to get to one another. They are in excellent health for their ages and although they are unruly on the lead, they are small dogs and are very affectionate and friendly (apart from the growling dog with my DD).

OP posts:
midori1999 · 22/09/2012 22:51

There simply aren't enough homes for young, healthy, well behaved dogs, let alone older dogs that haven't been properly trained or socialised by the sounds of it. Sad If 'perfect' 9 month old dogs are being PTS on a regular basis as there are no homes, what chance do these two have?

Wetthemogwai · 22/09/2012 22:52

I'd try and arrange rehoming them yourself rather than palming them off on dogs trust. If you really loved them you'd look after them properly like you would your dd.

I can kind of see where the behaviourist was coming from however banging pans will not assert dominance, more create a distraction which is a good idea but not with pans!

What kind of dogs are they and where are you?

ImASpecialSnowflake · 22/09/2012 22:52

I am going to be blunt and if you didn't want blunt then you wouldn't have posted here.

You should be thoroughly ashamed that you don't walk your dogs. Did your legs drop off as a result of giving birth? I think not.

Whichever brainless idiot told you to bang saucepans to assert "pack leader authority" needs a saucepan banging over their head. Even if it was still believed that dogs need a pack leader (which is NOT common theory with dogs anymore) then I fail to see how creating a loud obnoxious noise is going to prove you are the leader of the "pack".

For the sake of the animals I would rehome and I would hope you never have a dog again. If you cannot even train your dog to be groomed you have no hope of managing.

Toughasoldboots · 22/09/2012 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EdgarAllanPond · 22/09/2012 22:52

  1. buy a baby backpack

  2. put your baby in it

  3. take your dogs for a walk

  4. buy a playpen and a stairgate

  5. when your baby is in the pen, your dogs can be in the room, when she is on the floor, the dogs are behind the stairgate

  6. everybody is happier..

if your dogs go to a shelter now, no-one will give them a home, they're too old.

relaxingathome · 22/09/2012 22:53

I am not a dog owner, but I am not surprised your dogs resent the baby, she goes out for a walk every day in the pushchair and they have had that removed from them.
Take them out when your H is home

akaemmafrost · 22/09/2012 22:53

They are 9 years old, it's very unlikely these dogs will find new, suitable homes Sad.

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 22/09/2012 22:53

I'm sorry but at 9years old what do you think the chances of them getting rehomed at all are, let alone together! Nobody in their right mind is going to want to take on 2 elderly dogs and the associated costs.
If you can't handle them and a pushchair use a sling and get them a halter lead to stop the pulling.

IvorHughJanus · 22/09/2012 22:54

I get Worra's point about the chances of re-homing.

So, why won't your DH walk them?
Why don't you whilst DH is home to look after your DC?

ImASpecialSnowflake · 22/09/2012 22:54

If you cared about your dogs you would have asked for practical advice as to how to manage the situation. Lots of people have difficulties integrating a new baby into a home with dogs, they ask for advice, they take the advice and take the necessary steps to ensure all members of the family, human and canine, are happy. You are choosing to use a rescue shelter as a dumping ground for now unwanted members of the "family". Shameful.

thewashfairy · 22/09/2012 22:54

Do they get to join you once DD has gone to bed? Maybe that would be a good time for some much needed love and attention. Have you got a garden suitable for them to roam in during the day at times,just so they don't go insane from boredom??

midori1999 · 22/09/2012 22:55

You go out every day with the pushchair and leave your dogs behind at home? Shock

So, what you really mean is you can't be bothered to take them? You are the one who didn't train them to walk properly on the lead, you are the one who didn't bother to teach them to be apart and now your dogs are suffering and potentially going to be killed because of it.

I have walked all three of my Goldens and a friend's 'unruly' GSD with a puschchair, so I'm damn sure most people can manage two small, even poorly behaved dogs and a ushchair if they can be arsed want to.

akaemmafrost · 22/09/2012 22:55

Why can't your DH look after the baby while you walk them?

onebigwish · 22/09/2012 22:56

Trying to be constructive...listen, if you can't manage them both plus the pushchair at the same time then you need to walk them one at a time with the pushchair. You can do that, right?

ImASpecialSnowflake · 22/09/2012 22:56

If you are in the north west I will take your dogs if you PM me.

EdgarAllanPond · 22/09/2012 22:56

the trick to walking down steps with dogs is to get them to walk behind you, they can't be allowed to pull ahead.

to achieve this, i suggest the use of treats. nice tasty treats.

of course it is difficult now - your dogs are crazy to get outside.

a dog that goes outside all the time is much easier to manager on walks.

OatyBeatie · 22/09/2012 22:58

Give your baby to his dad for an hour each evening and go out with the dogs. As well as being essential for the dogs it will be good for you to have regular time away from the baby -- and good for your dh to have time alone with his child.

It is easy to get so worn down with a small baby that you start to feel hopeless and defeatist about things that are quite manageable. I do have sympathy with you in that respect. I remember finding it very hard work managing my dog when ds1 was small. But there ARE solutions and you do have to find them. I think with regular exercise you will be improving your relationship with the dogs as well as helping to settle them and make them feel less confused and stressed, so the growling might become easier to tackle.

Poppylovescheese · 22/09/2012 22:58

I am sorry but you are being so unfair on your dogs. Teach them not to pull! Walk them with baby in a sling. Stop making excuses: having a baby doesnt render you incapable! I had two large dogs who were a pita to walk when my ds was a baby but still I managed to walk them twice a day. And kick your dh into reality: ALL dogs need exercise, stimulation and attention. FFS

WorraLiberty · 22/09/2012 22:58

Has your DH ever bothered walking the dogs?

Why can't he mind his child while you walk them?

Original poster
toughdecision · 22/09/2012 22:58

We had to cancel our pet insurance already as it cost too much and with the cut in our income, we could no longer afford it. They were insured their whole lives up to a few months ago.
I accept and feel ashamed that I agree with you all re not walking the dogs. I put DH's attitude re the walking down to the breed book we read when we got them which said that following us around the house is adequate exercise but I know from walking them that although they don't like very long walks, they do like a 20 minute stroll.

OP posts:
ImASpecialSnowflake · 22/09/2012 22:59

What breed are your dogs.

SuzysZoo · 22/09/2012 23:01

I really do sympathise with your predicament. It must be awful to be torn between your dogs and your DD. My friend had a similar thing with her cat when her baby arrived, felt stressed and got rid of the cat. I am not a dog fan anyway, but I would rehome them for sure. Motherhood is stressful enough and I don't think dogs and small babies are a good mix, but I know lots of people will disagree with that! You obviously care deeply about your dogs, and I understand that, but dogs are just dogs and people are more important, as is your happiness and wellbeing.

Wetthemogwai · 22/09/2012 23:01

Well that makes it even worse IMO sorry I don't like flaming but a 20 minute stroll even once a day won't kill either of you!

aJumpedUpPantryBoy · 22/09/2012 23:01

My dogs would be crawling the walls of they didn't get walked at least 3 times a day for a minimum of 20 minutes.

As you said in your opening post they don't have much of a life but that is your fault.
Ideally I think they should be rehomed because you don't seem to care enough to giev them quality of life. However, the harsh reality is that finding them a suitable home would be very difficult.

I guess the crux of the matter is are you willing to make changes to improve their lives, which in turn should eliminate many of the problems you are having

ImASpecialSnowflake · 22/09/2012 23:02

NO dog is happy following someone around the house. They are DOGS not hamsters. Greyhounds are the laziest bastard dogs known to man. They still need at least a half hour-45 minute walk twice a day.

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