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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is wrong?

105 replies

MrsAnything · 21/09/2012 23:20

I was going to sell some baby equipment that my DD has grown out of. A friend said that she had a friend who is pregnant and has no money, and could make good use of the items, and could she please have them for her friend, for free.

As I don't technically need the money for the items, I agreed. She did kind of railroad me into it really. I gave her the items, she said that her friend was delighted with them when I asked if she'd given them to her.

Yesterday I saw on a FB group that she is selling the items, which total up in value to around £500. I know what her Ebay ID is and I checked that, and she has listed them on Ebay too.

I don't know what to do. I know she is struggling financially, but I loathe the dishonestly involved here, and the assumption by her that because we are comfortable financially that it's ok to do this to me. I'm pretty upset, she is a very good friend.

OP posts:
Secondsop · 21/09/2012 23:40

This is awful, and would seem to be either or both of theft and obtaining property by deception. Confront her, and say that you are considering the police given the dishonest behaviour. An offence of dishonesty against your name is no joke so this might shock some decent behaviour out of her.

I personally wouldn't suggest the route of bidding high on ebay and then trying to take them back, as you will technically have entered into a contract to buy them and you might get into a messy eBay dispute if she doesn't give way quietly.

5madthings · 21/09/2012 23:40

What a fucking bitch. I would be tempted to report her yo ebay for selling stolen.goods! Or bid and go round in person yo collect. the look on her face when you turn up would be priceless!

GreenEggsAndNichts · 21/09/2012 23:42

oh you say she's already claimed to have given them to the friend.

Well. I'd stick to the "I need them back for a family member" tale, and that coincidentally, you noticed that she was trying to hawk them on a FB group you also belong to. I'd just stare her down, personally, and give her x amount of time to return said items.

And no, I'm not particularly brave (hence my needing to create a story about needing them back for a family member) but I do do a pretty good hard stare.

Alternatively, you could comment on her FB adverts where she's trying to sell the items.

what a cow.

Happybunny12 · 21/09/2012 23:45

Wow, that's terrible! Theft, dishonesty and selfishness. Ask for your stuff back, if she refuses report her to eBay and the police. Awful.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 21/09/2012 23:47

Please please confront her. And do it without shame or guilt because you have no need to feel either. She does.

Absolutely disgusting behaviour.

CouthyMowWearingOrange · 21/09/2012 23:52

Report to EBay for selling stolen goods. I would class this as theft by deception. I would say your friendship has been blown out of the water by her awful actions too.

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 21/09/2012 23:52

What a nasty nasty bitch she is Shock

Definitely do not let her get away with this

Sorry she's done this to your friendship op, I couldn't be friends with someone like this once I found out what they were really like

Original poster
MrsAnything · 21/09/2012 23:55

I plan to confront her tomorrow, probably by phone or text. thanks to you all for your replies, they've been very helpful. I wondered if I was being a bit precious

OP posts:
Devora · 21/09/2012 23:55

What are you going to do, MrsAnything?

brdgrl · 21/09/2012 23:57

Poor you. You did a very nice thing. She's rotten.

Let us know how it goes tomorrow.

slowestwildebeast · 22/09/2012 00:00

Horrible to do this. £500 is a lot of money.
Get rid of her.

RandomMess · 22/09/2012 00:02

Perhaps it is enough just to text her something along the lines of

"I am very upset to see the items that you asked for to pass onto your friend are now on ebay. I would like them returned to me over the weekend as I had planned to sell them myself previously"

Angelico · 22/09/2012 00:14

Agree with Random and she sounds like a right witch! Shock

izzyizin · 22/09/2012 00:18

From what you've said, it was your intention to sell a number baby items to make some extra cash for yourself. Before you listed them for sale a friend approached you with a tale of woman who was allegedly pregnant and being in dire financial straits could not afford to buy goods/clothes for her forthcoming baby.

Being a charitable soul, you gave the items to your friend in good faith believing she would pass them on to the pregnant woman. At a later date you asked your friend if she had passed them on to which she replied that had and that the pregnant woman was delighted with the items.

You subsequently discovered that your friend had not passed the items on and that she had listed them for sale on eBay and other site(s) with a potential gain for herself of c£500.

This would seem to be a case of fraud by false representation which is a criminal offence that focuses on the conduct of the accused - your friend made false representation to you knowing that it was or might be untrue or miseading with intent to make a gain for herself thus causing you loss.

The police may be willing to pay a call on your friend and persuade her to return your items, but before you consider calling the police I would suggest you ask your friend to account for the fact that she has listed the items, which she assured you she had passed on, for sale and see what response she makes.

If she tries to front it out, tell her you will be reporting her to the police for the above criminal offence unless she returns the items to you by ..x date..

It might not fly but it's certainly worth a try - and if I'd been lied to the way your 'friend' has lied to you I'd die trying before I let the dishonest bitch get away with it Grin

HipHopOpotomus · 22/09/2012 00:22

Agree with most of the above.

However if she was a really good friend, could she possibly be in some kind of deep shit and in a desperate state? It just seems like such a extreme thing for someone to do.

I would either bid really high on ebay (if i had the stomach for it) and then confront her, or confront her before bidding ends and simply ask WTF is going on?

TerraNotSoFirma · 22/09/2012 00:27

Get print outs of the items on eBay.
Just in case.
Maybe send the seller a question, one that only you as the original purchaser would know the answer to.
See if she comes to you looking for the answer?

Can't think of an example off the top of my head (have had wine) but do you know what I mean?

Totally out of order. I would not be able to forgive her.

CaliforniaLeaving · 22/09/2012 00:28

First take screen shots of everything for sale on the FB group, then add the other stuff she has up for sale to your watch list on eBay. Then confront her and say you want half of all the money from this stuff. You can watch and see what it sells for eventually if it's in your watch list it makes it easy to see and she won't know it's you watching.
What a bloody cheek she has.

MrsEricBana · 22/09/2012 00:30

I would be extremely upset to discover that this had happened. I think you should just ask her in a mild tone how come the things you gave her in good faith for her friend are now on ebay and see what she says. Whatever the outcome you can't trust her now but less heavy handed approach perhaps.
(an extension of this then - if someone gives you baby stuff for your own use - if you then don't need it years later and ebay it do you give all the money to the person who originally gave you the stuff?)

TerraNotSoFirma · 22/09/2012 00:31

Bugger 50%
I'd want all the profit, the cheeky bitch.

Agree it would be a great idea to have someone bid high, then you turn up to collect.

TerraNotSoFirma · 22/09/2012 00:32

MrsEric, the rule I follow on that is, all things I have been handed down get handed down to someone else. I only ever sell things which were direct new gifts or bought by ourselves.

MrsEricBana · 22/09/2012 00:33

Knowing you were going to sell them she couldn't be going to do it for you and give you the cash could she? (just a thought before you call the police!)

MrsEricBana · 22/09/2012 00:36

Yes I agree Terra, or if not appropriate to pass something on then at least ask the original giver what they would like doing with it.

TerraNotSoFirma · 22/09/2012 00:40

Or you could be like the horror I gave all DD's equipment/clothes/toys to.
We weren't having anymore children, the 4 weeks later I found out I was pg with DS.
Did I get the offer of the items returned once used? Did I hell.
I actually had to ask if I could have the cradle, swing seat etc returned once her baby had grown out of it.
Never got anything back and had to buy brand new. :(

brdgrl · 22/09/2012 00:42

I don't think it would be wise to bid on the items on Ebay, as you could end up in trouble yourself, and almost certainly with a black mark against you on Ebay.

As for items gven in the past - its karmic, isn't it - if I was helped by someone else and saved money by not having to buy an item, I'm just glad to be able to pass that on.

notanaxemurderer · 22/09/2012 00:51

How awful, OP. Definitely confront her. Good luck tomorrow.