to be losing confidence in school after DS scratched, hit, pinched and bitten in FIRST week of reception?

[slaveofsolitude]

Or am I just being PFB-ish about it?!

So far DS has come with scratch marks on his back and a bite mark on his arm. All by same boy in his class. School aware of what's happened. Appear pretty blase about it.

DS also told me the same boy "head pushed him in the face" - headbutting? He also had sand in his hair and ears today - again done by this boy according to DS.

Surely they should be keeping a bit of closer eye on them than this in their first week - particularly where things like this have already been noted? Don't get the impression they are really on top of behaviour to be honest...doesn't help that it is a very large inner city school in special measures...

Feel like asking to move classes or even change schools! AIBU?

I would be asking for a meeting with teacher

They will not identify the other child/ren involved, nor should they; your concern is can they keep your child safe, and what are they going to do to ensure this

have you had any paperwork re the injuries DS is coming home with (bite/scratch in partic)

I would be demanding a meeting with the HT and asking what is going on, bite marks!

No paperwork. Teacher mentioned it twice at pick up this week - but more in a kind of 'I'm telling you because I have to' way, than a 'this is unacceptable and this is what we're going to do about it' sort of way. She said they will keep an eye on things next week.

I just can't help thinking that if they are this laissez faire in the first week, what's it going to be like a few months down the line!

I think you need to see the HT. It is unacceptable. You need to know exactly what steps are being taken to tackle this behaviour, not that they will be keepingf an eye on things.

Saying that, it is not uncommon during the first few months in school for many children to become pretty horrid. For your child's sake, and the sake of the child who is in danger of forming violent habits, the school need to have a plan in place.

DS1 bit another boy very hard in his second week of reception. He had never ever bitten before (even as a toddler) and never has since - I think he was so overwhelmed by the hurly burly of the playground that he freaked out and lost control.

I was mortified and of course it is not acceptable behaviour BUT not unknown in the first weeks of reception from otherwise well-behaved children! The staff ratios in school mean they cannot watch every child all the time but they should be working with the other child's parents to help them learn ways of dealing with conflict without lashing out.

Yikes I'd be in talking to the head if the teacher is just casually mentioning it at pick up. Bites and head butting are not things to be glossed over, this child need more supervision. Keep a record and pictures on the bites in case they try to minimize it.

It is bullying. Do teachers know about it? Did they see it happen? Did your son tell them if they didn't? I'd make an appointment to speak to the teacher formally and list all the incidents and ask them what they are doing about it? Also state how it effecting your son - don't play it down. If you have no joy, change schools. Speak to the LEA and local schools to find a vacancy. Be honest about the reasons for leaving.

Do you really think I should see the HT - won't the teacher be pissed off for "going over her head"?

Are there better schools in the area?

wow, that is awful. I would be very tempted to move schools if I could. What a dreadful start to school life for your poor DS

BSS it is very unlikely to be bullying (we are talking about a 4yo here!). Just a small, tired child in a probably stressful situation not dealing with it how they ought to!

Schools in area are variable - and probably over subscribed tbh - but could try waiting list I suppose.

1 incident I'd be prepared to put down as tiredness/excitement.
2 incidents I'd be getting concerned and would want the teacher to fill me in on what was happening.
3 incidents and I'd want a proper meeting with the teacher to find out how she is going to prevent this happening in future.
4 incidents and I'd be raising merry hell.

Speak the to HT.

I would be concerned that one child has repeatedly been able to behave in this way. Reception children are very young and it's not uncommon at all for the odd bite etc to happen. However for one child to be frequently aggressive is a bit of a concern and imo the teacher should be able to deal with it through supervision and distraction.

Your own child's well-being is of paramount concern.
Photograph all injuries, recording date and time.
The school must by law record injuries in writing, giving a paper copy to parent/carer. If they are not doing this, complain to Ofsted, (you can do this anonymously if you wish).
Show your list of complaints/photos to the head teacher and ask what measures they will be taking to keep your child safe. They need an action plan with named person responsible, and a date set for reviewing results.
Don't let them get away with this amazing laxness. They know they are wrong to ignore this issue.
If the head teacher won't help, go to the Head of Governors, and if that fails, Ofsted. Record keeping is not optional for schools.