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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be deeply puzzled by competitive anti- feminism.......

679 replies

seeker · 21/09/2012 09:13

"I'm not a feminist"

"oh, I'm so much less of a feminist than you are"

"I'm so not a femynyst I don't even know how to spell it"

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 21/09/2012 11:18

Feminism to me on MNet is "we are all for women having freedom of speech, but only if they agree with us, and if they dont then they are deluded/conditioned/stupid/apologists"

cakeismysaviour · 21/09/2012 11:18

Or you could actually back up your accusations with evidence, cakeismysaviour.

I already have. I have pointed out the thread that contains the evidence. If you are too lazy/pigheaded to read it, then thats your problem.

Kayano · 21/09/2012 11:19

And we will talk an issue to death with other women and do not a lot about it - and ban the men and the transsexuals

Kayano · 21/09/2012 11:19

Nb - I admit my last post was an unkind pisstake that does not apply to all feminists

Sallyingforth · 21/09/2012 11:19

Purple
I wish I could have written that. Very, very well said.

I'm leaving the thread now. This young girl has to earn a living.

ShirtyKnot · 21/09/2012 11:20

As I've said before I wear make up, do my nails, wear high heels, shave, wax, pluck, fake tan, shop, bake, sew, diet, blah blah blah.

This ignorant belief that all feminists are all anti "feminine" things (grr, badly put but you know what I mean) is just utter bolleaux.

Original poster
seeker · 21/09/2012 11:20

So are you saying that my posting on that thread is "bile"?

OP posts:
handbagCrab · 21/09/2012 11:22

I see the anti feminist stance as profoundly limiting. Men do x and women do y and that's how it is and blah, blah, blah.

If feminism is simply that men and women are completely equal and can and do anything the other does then we don't need to discuss ad infinitum who washes up, wears lipstick, takes the kids to parties or pays for dinner. As it really wouldn't matter.

ClippedPhoenix · 21/09/2012 11:22

I'm a feminist and wear my "badge" with pride.

I have never seen Seeker become personal with any poster. I have however seen many write terrible things about her Sad

Apparently now she spouts "Bile".

Some people really need to get a grip.

Nancy66 · 21/09/2012 11:23

some poor sod got crucified for referring to a group of women as 'ladies' the other day....(on MN)

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 21/09/2012 11:24

ShirtyKnot but I am not a mn feminist.
having seen what is said in the that name over the last few days I would never align myself with that group,
so on here I would say I am not a feminist.

Kayano · 21/09/2012 11:26

Some bloke got it in the neck for saying 'the wife'

I was like 'I call my dh 'fatman' to the tune of batman or 'wor fella'' and he calls me thunder hippo! (An in joke only for in the house)
God knows what people would think

I think a lot of feminists are so enraged on behalf of women (plural) they overlook each woman

Absy · 21/09/2012 11:26

Hm. I'm not sure I've seen competitive anti-feminism on MN (this could also be down to just hanging around amusing threads, for the laughs) BUT, what I have seen on occassion is you'll have posters saying you have to be a feminist/you are a feminist because you believe women should have equal treatment etc. etc. BUT then when someone comes along and goes "so, I wax my fanjo" and then people have a go at them for not being feminist enough, or anti feminist or whatever.

So basically, people implying that all women should be feminists (which I kind of agree with, but more I think everyone should be a feminist) but if you are one, then you have to fit this very specific stereotype that we've come up with, so you can't be interested in personal grooming, or do more of the housework, etc. etc.

Personally, I am a feminist (I love the quote "I don't know what a feminist is, but I know I've been called one every time I express an opinion that differentiates me from a doormat") but more in the Caitlin Moran-y, hippy, I'm-okay, you're-okay, let's all be friends kind of direction.

enimmead · 21/09/2012 11:27

I think it must be very confusing for some men. Looking at some threads on here, you've got women who are happy to be "treated like a lady, who expect the man to pay the bill on the first date" and then you've got those women who would be utterly offended and throw accusations of sexism / mysogny if they did such a thing.

Women are also their worst enemies - all this infighting and judging of each other - whilst men just sit back and watch. There is still real sexism out there - both sexes are guilty of it. Making assumptions because of your gender and holding women back or putting them down because of their gender. There's a thread on FWR about everyday sexism and it's unbelievable how men and women treat women still nowadays in a way men just would not get treated.

ShirtyKnot · 21/09/2012 11:28

I don't even know what an MN feminist is TBH - is it someone who posts on MN about feminism? Because that would be me (sometimes) and I'm pretty sure I haven't said anything awful to anyone about feminism.

And by "awful" I'm talking about saying something like "Oh you fucking bunch of stupid cunts, are you hard of fucking thinking or something? Get a fucking life!"

Original poster
seeker · 21/09/2012 11:28

"ShirtyKnot but I am not a mn feminist.
having seen what is said in the that name over the last few days I would never align myself with that group,
so on here I would say I am not a feminist."

Oranges- could you say exactly what has been said in the name of feminism that upset you so much? I'm not being disingenuous- I honestly don't understand!

OP posts:
ShirtyKnot · 21/09/2012 11:28

Because (Whoops pressed post too soon) I have seen PLENTY of that sort of shit flung in the direction of people who are espousing feminst principles - not so much going in the other direction TBH.

cakeismysaviour · 21/09/2012 11:29

So are you saying that my posting on that thread is "bile"?

Yes, the views that were posted (not just by you, others as well) in the name of feminism were just that and were pointed as such by many.

Now I realise that you will disagree that it is bile, and that is an opinion that you are perfectly entitled to. However, going back to my first post on this thread and answering the original question on this thread, many posters feel that those views (posted in the name of feminism) are bile and therefore this may explain why some posters feel the need to distance themselves from feminism on here atm. If indeed that it happening, because I can't say I have noticed it myself.

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 21/09/2012 11:30

seeker I would but it would turn into that thread again iynwim, and I said my bit on the thread this is about.

Absy · 21/09/2012 11:30

For e.g., and I'll see if I can find it, there was a thread in S&B of all places about pubic waxing. As soon as anyone came on and said "I've had a brazilian" some people were all "oh, you're BRAINWASHED you want to be a porn star, why don't you think for yourself HOW DARE you" crap. It's really offputting. And so judgy.

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 21/09/2012 11:31

"I think a lot of feminists are so enraged on behalf of women (plural) they overlook each woman"

briliant

valiumredhead · 21/09/2012 11:31

It's not crap though imo absy

ShirtyKnot · 21/09/2012 11:34

That happens all over the place though Absy and is absolutely NOT the sole preserve of feminists.

Fuck me, we're on AIBU, home of judgement and nasty comments about every topic under the sun and yet the same sort of remarks aren't levelled on a consistent and boring basis.

If someone from S&B came onto a thread in chat about shoes and said "Those shoes are fucking hideous!" (and I've seen that happen) then would it be ok for thge whole of MN to extrapolate that posters remarks to apply to everyone who ever posts on S&B or would you say that was a pretty blinkered way of thinking?

valiumredhead · 21/09/2012 11:35

S and B is as feisty as AIBU these days Grin

Kayano · 21/09/2012 11:35

Can you not see the aggressive approach and belittling people is a bad move? I see MN feminism as quite forceful as opposed to what people are like in real life. I doubt many would tell people they are ignorant or socially conditioned or just incapable of thinking irl.

I see it as dismissive of other opinions and uses many tactics available on a forum to do this (ignoring certain posters, demanding evidence when you know for a fact it's there but want it copied and pasted which people can't e arsed to do ESP on a phone) only respond to angry posters and call people frothers and ignore 98% of reasonable posters

Etc

That's what I view MN feminism