To be deeply puzzled by competitive anti- feminism.......

[seeker]

"I'm not a feminist"

"oh, I'm so much less of a feminist than you are"

"I'm so not a femynyst I don't even know how to spell it"

How dare you be funny? This is about MY RIGHT to shave my legs and do the ironing

wtf??
Hully what are you on about?

"I'm so not a femynyst I don't even know how to spell it"

You were - that ^ made me snigger in an unattractive fashion

why cos my dd likes pink?
you make no sense

I completely agree seeker. It's a MN phenomenon.

But why does she like pink? Was it because all the toys, clothes and pretty much everything associated with being a girl is pink?

It's a bit like the conditioning in a Brave New World or 1984. You associate pink with being a girl.

Shouldn't you address personal attacks on the relevant thread?

you really want to know?
cos I hate it,
always have, so I avoided pink, so I would say lets have black covers for your seat(she is in a seating system in her wheelchair) so I would leave and the ot would ask her and yep she would choose pink lol
so she is being rebel

I agree Seeker, and quite honestly, any woman who claims she isn't a feminist is too dense to understand what it means.

it doesn't mean hairy man-haters, it means the right to vote amongst other things. It doesn't mean all men are rapists/you can't wear high heels/insert other random stereotype here, it means that women should not be penalised for being female.

I think of the "pink" thing being shorthand as well for all the princess bollocks. I know full well that if I'd had daughters I would have bought all of that old shite because that would be what my DD would have wanted. I would have felt sad about it though.

The pink lego thing is more...WHYYYYY? why have they marketed specific lego at little girls, Lego has always been gender neutral and it's just crappy that they're changing that PLUS all the stuff in the pink range is fucking bunnies and flowers PAH!

I like pink.

I have a pink laptop, pink iPad case, pink kindle case, pink bedding, lots of pink clothes. Why? Because I live in a house full of males and get bored of all the drab colours they have around the house. I can't particularly remember having a lot of pink as a child.

I am a feminist.

But my female friends, colleagues & relatives treat the word 'feminist' almost like it's a bad word with negative connotations.
They aren't 'competitively anti-feminist' exactly; but they all deny being feminists when i ask if they are...

For example; they can't understand why i say that i would keep my own surname if i get married (or double-barrel it at least).
All the unmarried mums who are living with their childrens' father have given their children the father's surname.

But IMO the most awful thing is to watch how so many women i know just allow their husbands / boyfriends to make choices for them & dictate how they live their lives.

Can i add - the women i'm referring to are women born & / or brought up in the UK; mostly working / lower middle class, mostly aged under 60.
I think that they are so used to the rights that feminism has gained for them that they actually don't appreciate those rights.
Also they absorb the very male-dominated media attitudes; & care very much what men's opinions are.

The women who seem to appreciate the freedoms we do have in the UK (thanks to feminism) are those who have immigrated from countries where women don't have the same freedoms.
The immigrant women i know will go out at all times, dress as they wish, behave as they wish; even those immigrants i know who are strict Muslims don't let their husbands boss them around like the British women do.

Basically feminism does have a negative image; & that needs to change.
Also British women need to wake up & appreciate their freedoms more & also realise that we don't have true equality with men yet... unless they actually don't want the freedoms that they have; & if that's the case then - why??

but what if a girl wants pink lego. do you refuse?

"Shouldn't you address personal attacks on the relevant thread?"

I wouldn't have even mentioned them but then somebody told me there weren't any...........

Having just looked at some of the male rights groups I can see there are many woman posting on them. The groups are making it clear they don't want women to have less rights they just want men to be able to access the same help as women (regarding domestic violence and rape) which they currently can't. I can't see any meetings advertised but I'm sure women would be welcomed going by the nature of the sites.

V.good post Latara

Are you asking me that 3socks?

I already stated that I would have probably bought the disney princess shit. I wouldn't buy the pink lego though, no. I would just buy a box of normal Lego Lego.

I thought `I was a feminist untilI was told on here that I couldn't possibly be one. Now having accepted that I'm not a feminist, I get told quite honestly, any woman who claims she isn't a feminist is too dense to understand what it means.

So not only have other women told me I just don't measure up to being a feminist, I also get told that I'm dense.

Nice.

"
Can I just say that sideways fucking is equally valid to PIV sex and we need to rethink our paradigms to subvert patriarchal sexual discourse?"

Boffy :)

"I'm sorry- I really didn't think anyone would think they were genuine quotations. I though I was being mildly funny."

I didn't think they were genuine, I asked what the point was. I think if you'd raised the issue of women being unable to identify with feminism this could have gone well.

As we can see "How dare you be funny? This is about MY RIGHT to shave my legs and do the ironing" it hasn't. I shave my legs and do the ironing, I know I'm a feminist. Someone new to the whole concept would see a comment like that, feel unable to identify and perhaps be put off the whole thing. At the extreme they'd feel offended and patronised, and perhaps then lean to towards more anti femminist sentiments, then we ask why they feel this way. On it goes.

They would missymoo

They would love to have women go and make the tea. Especially in lippy and short skirts. But only if they've done the ironing first.

I've been called all sorts of things here on MN Ruby. It doesn't mean that I AM those things, and I certainly don't rock up on threads about bullies for example, and say "I was told on MN that I'm a bully and therefore I am one and GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY!". I just ignore those people who call me names or say shit stuff about me that isn't true.

If you are a feminist and someone told you that you're not why on Earth did you take any notice?

I am a feminist and i love pink, my Mum loves pink. I wear lots of pink but i always have. I also have a maths degree and am not the slighest bit girly (never wear make up or high heels etc). It is just another colour, but why do manufacturers feel the need to make pink versions of toys that are already 'gender neutral' colours?

Anyway, as a SAHM I generally refer to myself as a neo-feminist as i believe too many people see femisists as trying to be like men whereas i feel we can have equality and choice but accept we don't have to be the same.