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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to scream and shout 'mind your own bloody business!! My child, my decision

79 replies

drivinmecrazy · 19/09/2012 11:05

Have just had news that my DD1 has got a place off the waiting list of a much sought after local school.
We went to appeal to try and get her a place, although we are catchment always over subscribed.
Have just had a text from my neighbor's daughter. She's 20, training to be a teacher and has far too many opinions about how I raise my DDs for a child with no experience of the real world.
She has texted me saying she spoke to my DD last week who said she wouldn't want to change schools, and I should actually listen to my child!!
School she is currently at is not a good school by any standards, we have always made it clear to DD that while we respect her opinions, she is a chilkd and the next few years of her education are of such importance that we would make those decisions.
Of course she doesn't want to change after just settling, but she's a child surely! isn't it up to us parents to sometimes take thoses tough decisions for her!!
Have also now got a FB message from her Mum, suggesting that I should maybe have waited to talk to DD before announcing on FB. Firstly, my DD has no access to FB, she's 11 FFS! and secondly, all my friends have know how hard we have fought to get DD a place at the new school. Thirdly, I hope that when my DD gets to 15, she's not openly smoking, drinking, swearing and sleeping with her boyfriend at my house!!!
Because current school is good enough for your child, doesn't mean I don't want something more for mine!!
Sorry that turned into a rant, have made neighbors sound like trash, they're not. they are a professional family, but doesn't give them the right to question my decisions about my child
Am incandescent with rage!!!

OP posts:
WelshMaenad · 19/09/2012 16:40

I'm really glad she's happy about the move and wish her all the best. I moved schools to do my a levels, best thing I ever did and wish I'd done it years earlier.

JustinBoobie · 19/09/2012 16:57

I don't think anything you have done is unreasonable...

I'd be pissed off, they overstepped the mark and I definately would not let my 11yo make a decision like that. Openly discuss, yes... which had done.

I'm glad she's thrilled!!

cory · 20/09/2012 08:37

Announcing something that majorly concerns your dd on facebook before telling her is incredibly disrespectful of her imho. Yes, parents should make ultimate decisions, but parents should also treat their growing children as people and not make it all about themselves. The fact that she does not have access to FB is totally irrelevant- people talk and there is every chance this will get back to her.

btw whether your dd gets to 15 without smoking, drinking or sleeping with boyfriends will depend on her and her ability to take responsibility; it's not something this or that school will do for her. There isn't a school in the country that doesn't have at least one pupil with one of these behaviours. So the sooner you start treating her like a person you communicate with, the better.

Pagwatch · 20/09/2012 08:45

Why do people put information on Facebook and then expect them to mind their own business?

When you tell them, you involve them.
And telling them before your DD is really dim

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