DD excluded from a party

[shinny]

My DD came back from school to say shes not been invited to a birthday party. Shes not too fussed as not keen on the birthday girl. BUT I think it stems from mum. Several months ago DD had a small party/sleepover with a few friends but not this child. Her mum sent me several aggressive texts saying her DD was crying, why was she excluded, what had she done to my DD etc etc. i explained it was a small party & I was sorry her DD was upset. She then says that my DD swore the invitees to secrecy about party. I questioned my DD and she had only told the non-invited one's BF not to mention it to avoid her being upset. Not a diplomatic course of action and i told her honesty is best policy in future etc etc.

Anyway, the mum started to blank my DD (DD told me about this even tho Id not told her about the texts) but was ok with me.

Now I feel she has done exactly what she accused me of by both excluding my DD AND swearing everyone to secrecy as some of the girls in the class asked if my DD had been invited and she dramatically said DONT TELL HER.

I am upset as this is exactly what I was accused of and it wasn't true! My DD only invited the girls she is close to and knew very well, this kid isn't one of them.

So, do i just leave it and act normally or do I use it as an opportunity to explain to DD just how you shouldn't act or do I confront the parent and advise her that she has just committed the crime she accused me of ?

It all sounds pathetic to be honest.

Ditto. Ignore, move on. Forget about it.

If she's not close enough to the other kid to invite her to a party why would she be invited to hers?

its hard to separate the children and the adults in this story.

You take a deep breath, and ignore it. Explain to your dd that not everyone goes to every party (this is true), especially not to those your not particularly close to (also true). Don't let your dd see that this has upset you, the more matter of fact you are about it, the easier it will be for her to accept.

If she doesn't like the party girl then whats the problem? Its not as if she's upset about it, so I would ignore it.

What lljkk said

oh my goodness, you weren't seriously considering option number three, were you?
leave is and act normally, your dd's not bothered anyway.

I hate this sort of thing... I would reassure your DD that there's nothing wrong with her, explain that some people are strange. Try not to get irate about the whole thing, its one woman, one party, she's being pathetic.

Do not engage in conversation with this odd woman. You won't change her attitude, just stay away!

Your DD isn't bothered, be happy she's secure and move on. No need to devolve into other lady's issues.

Leave the children to the playground battles.

but she's not even being that strange... she's just doing exactly what the OP found okay to do to the other kid. (which, by the way, so do i. not every child gets invited to every party_.

Please just grow up.

Seriously, the children sound more mature by a country mile in this non event.

seriously leave it. Actually no, do option no 3 and then come back and give us a blow by blow account, including whether there was any swearing or actual fighting.

I agree wholeheartedly with Barbarian.

These are the type of disappointments that children have to learn to cope Ruth. Yes, it's a shame she's not invited, but it's no big deal.

If you want to take the sting out of it, you could do something nice together on the day / evening of the party.

Do not stoop the the 'other mums' level and say something, you will regret it I assure you .

With not Ruth

Dear God to parents really think like this.

Your DD isn't fussed....why is it a problem??

I always wonder, when people are posting about their playground dramas, are you not a little worried about being identifiable?

What a ridiculoust story. Forget about it and move on. There will be much worse things to worry about in years to come.

A crime? It is a children's party!!!

Seriously, you are making more of it than your daughter it!

If your DD isn't close to this girl (your words) why are you upset she hasnt been invited to the party??

I never understand why people get their knickers in a twist about party invites....so your kid isn't included....big deal!!

She hasn't been invited by a girl she's not close to and isn't fussed about. She didn't invite the other child to her sleepover party. Apart from the other mother's odd reaction, it all sounds perfectly normal. Keep out of it and it will all blow over.

I'd just leave it if it were me, and carry on as before.

You didn't exclude her DD. She irrationally assumed that you did and then behaved appallingly.

I just see it as part of learning. There are plenty of times people are excluded as an adult. It's just something you have to take in your stride. The bigger deal you make of it, the more your dd could potentially be upset.

Oh God, I've just organised a party for dd2. 9 children from the class of 30.

I hope no-one in the playground is gunning for me.