to buy a caravan against DH's wishes

[Babieseverywhere]

Short Version
My DH thinks I am being very unreasonable but AIBU to want to sell MY things to fund a cheap old caravan which I will use ON MY OWN with our children, so they can have a holiday ?

Long Version
My DH works very hard to support our family, whilst I'm currently a SAHM to our 4 DC's. DH is happy with this arrangement and I will be returning to work in a couple of years time, when our youngest is at school.

Our budget does not cover luxuries like proper holidays and so we usually have a few day trips each year. However last year my MIL invited us to stay in a static caravan for a week with the DC's and we had a ball. Really enjoyed the beach, the children's playgrounds on site and the onsite swimming pool.

I have been trying to convince my DH to buy a tourer caravan to enable us to have cheap self catering holidays but he claims to hate tourer caravans though he has never had a holiday in one. He had previously claimed to hate static caravans too, but really enjoyed last years holiday in one...all I wanted him to do was have a go before making a decision on how he feels about it, but he is stubborn (like me) and he remain unconvinced.

I decided that I will sell anything I have of value which I paid for pre-children...my laptop, my mobile phone, my collection of baby slings (bought with maternity money for first child), mobile cashbacks etc and buy a cheap caravan.

Looking to spend (if I manage to raise this much money) £400 or less on a 4/5/6 berth one with a minimum of two double beds, to pile my small children on. If anyone has one they are getting rid of in the North West PM me.

I don't expect my DH to come away in this caravan, I will go on my own with the children. No, it won't be a relaxing holiday for me but the idea is to give the children a nice time and I'm on my own with all the children every school holiday anyway. I do hope DH might try it one day but I am buying it with no expectations of him ever setting foot in it, as he hates caravans.

DH is still against the idea of me even self funding a caravan and when I mention my caravan fund (barely started), he is very negative and is trying to put me off the idea...telling me I can't put the caravan on our drive...I could put the caravan on our double drive but this would mean I would have to park my car on the road which I am willing to do but he says no.

I aim to buy a couple of food tins every food shop through out the year, to put in the caravan, that is what we did as children. Had a tourer holiday where we ate tinned food for a week with fruit ! Then the money I would of spent on a food shop the week of the holiday, can cover site fees on a basic caravan park...we'll have so much fun.

Caravan insurance will be around a £5 a week/month (can't remember which) and this I will take out of the child benefit for our youngest which we have just started receiving and isn't currently in our budget IYSWIM, as it is a benefit for our children.

My father has already agreed IF i get a caravan he will be willing to tow it nearby for me (within a couple of hours drive). So I don't need to get a tow bar, nor worry about towing the caravan. I'm sure my father will help me set it up for me on site :)

DH's parents live permanently in a caravan travelling around Europe and England and I'm sure I could pitch up next to them for a few nights. They don't see enough of the grandchildren and I'm sure would love for me to do this. Likewise my own parents are retired and have a tourer and would love to spend a few days at the seaside with their grandchildren.

AIBU to buy a caravan ?

How about a tent instead? Maybe DH would be more willing to give camping a go?

yanbu in the slightest. It sounds like a well thought out plan- especially if you have taken into account the fact that your dh will not be involved.

Go for it!

a £400 caravan is going to be a shit hole on wheels and where are you going to store the thing?

although I don't see why you should sell everything of value to do this. Can you save a bit each month instead- long way till its next sunny- could your parents give you some cash instead of birthday pressie etc?

I'm for the tent idea... it won't 'clutter up' the drive and you can still carry on with your plan. I hate caravans though.

YABU to buy a tourer caravan that you can't tow yourself.

Also, there is a massive difference between having the luxury of a static van to go to and having one that you have to tow/set up/sort out/.

I absolutely love static vans but whenever I look at tourers with families in, it actually makes me feel stressed for them.

I don't think this sound that doable to be honest, especially if you have to factor in child benefit too.

But if you really want to go ahead, do it without having to rely on your Dad or anyone else.

I think it sounds like a really great idea.

I don't really understand why your husband is so against the idea. Why do you think he is against it?

Apart from the 'taking up half the drive permanently', has your DH got any other reasons to be so negative?

Perhaps he is wondering how many times it will actually get used?

You can make practically anything work if you're determined and passionate enough about it. Sometimes other people just can't see the point ... that's sometimes the hardest part!

Sounds like fun to me anyway. We did allot of caravaning (big static ones though) when the kids were very little. I think you need to chat more to your DH about it.

Maybe DH would want a break too?

Why not sell an save for holiday all together? My mum used to take me on holiday and while it was good
It was never the same

a cheap caravan can be a lot of work our first one about 17 years ago was falling to bits but DH did it up and took out walls etc and refurbished it he enjoyed doing it and we got a few years out of it, I dont think you need to spend thousands but i do think a cheap 1 would give you problems , it is a fab holiday so do watch what you are buying. what about a trailer tent or a proper tent rather than a caravan ,

'I will use ON MY OWN'

but you're not, are you? Your dad will have to tow it.

Why not get a easy to put up tent? (If they exist.)

I uunderstand wanting to have cheap holidays with your DC, especially as you've had positive caravan experiences. But, I would be concerned about selling a laptop and a mobile phone to fund it. How are you going to get in touch with people in an emergency with small children? Don't you use your laptop for MN'ing?

Are your DH's concerns about what the neighbours might think about having it parked on your drive? Or is he concerned about the safety aspect? Does he think it would be announcing that your house is empty, if the caravan is not there?

Yanbu to buy a caravan I love ours but do watch what you are buying

My only concern is whether a £400 caravan is road worthy. You can get some older ones for a good price, but they may have been permanently sited for some years and not safe for touring with, my parents had this problem when they sold theirs.

In theory YANBU if you are buying it with your money though.

Well...you could always buy a fabulous tent instead - but tbh, what with the tent itself and all the camping gear, the initial outlay would be quite costly there too.

Anyway - you are not being unreasonable. This is your delight...you have thought it through, and if you want it, then go for it!

Your reasoning is sound - I agree with you. We're skinto too (I'm SAHM as well, until youngest starts school) and we use a bell tent for holidays. We both love it as do the kids! We have been all over the place with our Bessie, and all we pay for accomodation is the price of a pitch - about £20 a night.

A change is as good as a rest - you buy your wee caravan, and leave misery guts at home.
My last tenner says he'll soon change his tune when he sees you all preparing for the off anyway!

Don't let him spoil this for you. Good luck in the search!

Oh - and btw - my advice? Save a up a little more...you don't want the damn thing to be a money pit do you?

Have you considered where you will store a caravan? The site we like to go to charges £2k per season to store your caravan there, although this is inclusive of electricity and/or gas and running water if your caravan has those things.

My parents store their's at a specialist storage facility for £7 a week.

A tent would be a cheaper, just as convenient option.

The other thing to consider is that you'll need around £100 above the purchase price to get a cheap/old caravan safety checked as it has got to be safe (I've never had or towed a caravan, but am very, very glad that I spent £100 getting a cheap horse trailer checked as it was in a very dangerous condition so didn't buy it)

You've put a lot of thought into the plan.

But if DH hates that style of holiday, wouldn't it be better to find a different type? I'd prefer to look back on holidays that bound us all together as a family.

Is there no other form of holiday you like?

Plus you can't just turn up where ever/whenever you like with a caravan. A lot of popular sites are booked up months in advance, then there are site fees to consider and the extra cost of petrol incurred by towing a caravan - is your dad willing to find this as well as driving you there?

Try freecycle in your local area. You may get one for free or a tent like previous poster suggests. Best of luck and I love your enthusiasm to give your kids a holiday. You will be amazed what you will get for free. Maybe hubby won't moan then too..

'Looking to spend (if I manage to raise this much money) £400 or less on a 4/5/6 berth one with a minimum of two double beds,'

Good luck with that! A very good tent for 5 and camping kit can easily set you back that much.

DH rejected the idea of camping in a tent, saying it would be 'no holiday with four children' which I agree with TBH. I would not go camping on my own, as I can not put up a 5/6 man tent on my own and I would get zero sleep, trying to prevent the children from leaving for a midnight crawl/walk around the camp site....currently aged 6yo, 4yo, 2yo and a 7 week old baby

I still hope to store the caravan on the drive, like our neighbour does. Just wondered if my DH was reasonable in objecting to my plan.

I cannot in all conscious use 'family money' to save up for a caravan knowing my DH is against the idea, that is not reasonable in my mind. Where as using funds from sale of my luxury items is a guilt free way of raising money for me and I don't need these things. Through I will miss Mumsnet when the laptop goes.

I have no problems with learning to tow a caravan, my own mother used to tow our caravan. It is just saving up enough money for a caravan will take me many months and I haven't got time before next summer to save an additional £250 for a tow bar for our car. I would start saving again after our summer holiday for one.

Likewise I understand a £400 caravan will be 20 years old or more, scruffy, bashed about and likely to have damp. But it will do for a couple of years worth of holidays and then I'll be back in work and will invest in a lovely more modern caravan. It is only to sleep in, we'll be at beach/park the rest of the time :)

I actually think its quite a poor idea.
The insurance could be £5 or £20 per month (you can't remember)
Your car insurance will go up if you no longer park it on your drive.
You are relying on others to tow it for you, so it doesn't have freedom.
You have to pay to pitch them, they are a pain to set up with kids running around (trust me, been there done that).
I like the general idea but get the impression its not really been thought out.
What about maintenance of the 'old' caravan, are you going to have a savings account for that.
I can see why your dh objects. The household money is going to end up supporting this and with no money for luxuries now, it may things difficult.

Mum and dad bought a £400 caravan a couple of years ago. Honestly, camping would have been better. Imo.