to buy a caravan against DH's wishes

[Babieseverywhere]

Short Version
My DH thinks I am being very unreasonable but AIBU to want to sell MY things to fund a cheap old caravan which I will use ON MY OWN with our children, so they can have a holiday ?

Long Version
My DH works very hard to support our family, whilst I'm currently a SAHM to our 4 DC's. DH is happy with this arrangement and I will be returning to work in a couple of years time, when our youngest is at school.

Our budget does not cover luxuries like proper holidays and so we usually have a few day trips each year. However last year my MIL invited us to stay in a static caravan for a week with the DC's and we had a ball. Really enjoyed the beach, the children's playgrounds on site and the onsite swimming pool.

I have been trying to convince my DH to buy a tourer caravan to enable us to have cheap self catering holidays but he claims to hate tourer caravans though he has never had a holiday in one. He had previously claimed to hate static caravans too, but really enjoyed last years holiday in one...all I wanted him to do was have a go before making a decision on how he feels about it, but he is stubborn (like me) and he remain unconvinced.

I decided that I will sell anything I have of value which I paid for pre-children...my laptop, my mobile phone, my collection of baby slings (bought with maternity money for first child), mobile cashbacks etc and buy a cheap caravan.

Looking to spend (if I manage to raise this much money) £400 or less on a 4/5/6 berth one with a minimum of two double beds, to pile my small children on. If anyone has one they are getting rid of in the North West PM me.

I don't expect my DH to come away in this caravan, I will go on my own with the children. No, it won't be a relaxing holiday for me but the idea is to give the children a nice time and I'm on my own with all the children every school holiday anyway. I do hope DH might try it one day but I am buying it with no expectations of him ever setting foot in it, as he hates caravans.

DH is still against the idea of me even self funding a caravan and when I mention my caravan fund (barely started), he is very negative and is trying to put me off the idea...telling me I can't put the caravan on our drive...I could put the caravan on our double drive but this would mean I would have to park my car on the road which I am willing to do but he says no.

I aim to buy a couple of food tins every food shop through out the year, to put in the caravan, that is what we did as children. Had a tourer holiday where we ate tinned food for a week with fruit ! Then the money I would of spent on a food shop the week of the holiday, can cover site fees on a basic caravan park...we'll have so much fun.

Caravan insurance will be around a £5 a week/month (can't remember which) and this I will take out of the child benefit for our youngest which we have just started receiving and isn't currently in our budget IYSWIM, as it is a benefit for our children.

My father has already agreed IF i get a caravan he will be willing to tow it nearby for me (within a couple of hours drive). So I don't need to get a tow bar, nor worry about towing the caravan. I'm sure my father will help me set it up for me on site :)

DH's parents live permanently in a caravan travelling around Europe and England and I'm sure I could pitch up next to them for a few nights. They don't see enough of the grandchildren and I'm sure would love for me to do this. Likewise my own parents are retired and have a tourer and would love to spend a few days at the seaside with their grandchildren.

AIBU to buy a caravan ?

[Birdsgottafly]

If you are sure on a caravan, then price the cost of storage in the likes of Barmouth and Anglesea (if you are in the North West), that may be a better idea than keeping it on the drive.

I camp in a tent, that is my choice, i have all of the gear to make it comfortable, including a freeview television, i use electric hook up. I camp because i take my dog.

We don't let the bad weather put us off, you don't have to be stuck inside because it is raining, you just go prepared for the weather.

Most campsites have CCTV and are perfectly safe.

I would check out the new type tents, in a few years, people have these bad memories of camping, but todays equipment is completely different.

Tents are more spacious that caravans and the luxury blow up beds are more comfortable than the bad mattresses in cheaper vans.

[Noqontrol]

I think you'd struggle to get a decent caravan for £400 tbh. We've got a camper van and it is great fun, but I don't think it would be as much fun if the caravan wasn't in good condition. Why don't you use that money to get a decent bell tent and a portable stove. And save tins anyway, put them in a cupboard in the kitchen until you go away. Bell tents are beautiful. You can even put wood burning stoves in them if you come into more money. If we didn't have the van, I would get one of those over a cheap caravan.

[quoteunquote]

OP, we have several caravans(different ones for different occasions), they are brilliant fun,

I do recommend them as a way of having brilliant cheap fun, we use ours a lot this summer, when the weather was bad, It means sitting in a field in the rain can be really good fun, we had lovely family time playing lots of games, then as the breaks in the weather happened, nip down to the beach, the caravan making it all possible,

I wouldn't worry about having the correct amount of beds, if you go for something like an avondale mayfly you get a massive bigger than kingsize bed, get one with (very light tow,but generous in size) awning and you can stick any spare children in there, we have used pop up tents in awnings before they work really well,

www.caravanclub.co.uk/

check out the nose weight advice on this web site, you need to think carefully about the vehicle you tow with, what vehicle you

I've never insured any of our caravans separately, as our house insurance covers anything in the caravan, and my vehicle insurance covers anything that might go wrong, the most I have ever paid for a caravan is £200, so I'm not worried about them,

we tend to go to remote fields, so we have two 12v leisure batteries, which gives you two weeks of lighting, off hook up, once you learn your way round the electrics and gas system it's really easy,

take a towing course and you will be really confidant and enjoy the experience,

It's a really good time to buy, lots of people off loading at this time of year to avoid paying storage costs,

we find the caravan on the drive way a really useful extra space, it get used a lot, someone is always in there doing something we have a home hook up, I would really miss having it.

we find it really easy to go away for short breaks in as you just pack into the caravan, love it, don't let anyone put you off.

[quoteunquote]

Oh I meant to say ring round all the local caravan storage places, they often are selling for owners, get a damp meter, for testing,

you will find a caravan really cheaply they are out there, I know because I keep buying them, I have a couple of funky 60s/70s ones i like glass windows,, my husband likes ones with extra hight as he tall, so he keeps buying the more modern ones,which have bubble windows,

if you had asked last week I could of sorted you out one, that we no longer can justify hanging on to, it's gone to a friend now, but if look on ebay you can get a good idea of what is available,

what will you be towing with?

[Hopeforever]

Not sure if this has been said already, but would you have the money to have the gas and electrics checked and mended every year?

Caravans can be a death trap if the pipes and connection s etc are old and not replaced and checked.

Also it is expensive to keep them road worthy, you must have seen caravans that have had a tire blow out etc.

Why not hire a caravan for the first year, it can be taken to the campsite of your choice and if there is a problem with it during your holiday they have to repair it.

[thecatsminion]

I'm with the tent brigade - I spent childhood holidays doing touring caravan holidays and I don't see how it's less hassle than a tent. Once you've faffed about getting it on and off the towbar, dicking around with making sure the lights work, the horrible chemical toilets, the awning (I hated that bloody awning), the stays and all the rest of it, it's simpler to go with a tent, and it's not like caravans are very secure either.

Could you borrow a tent and try that on a local site before shelling out on a caravan? It might not be as bad as you remember, and that way you won't lose any money if you don't like it.

[quoteunquote]

people keep saying it's expensive to keep the gas checked?

er it's not, we have a local caravan place that charges very little to certificate it, you don't have to use the gas, you can just use a normal camping cooker, I like having the gas working as i like to use the oven, which has the added bonus of heating the caravan very quickly, we keep a couple of fire
extinguisher,smoke alarms and a carbon monoxide detector in all the vans,

as long as the chassis is in good nick, and you check the two wheels and brakes then thats it,

you can get a good checked caravan on the road for less than it will cost to hire one, and you can always resell it.

[Babieseverywhere]

My DH and father are both capable of checking gas and electricity out for me.

I like this one on Gumtree...www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-motorbikes/monza-14-caravan-45-berth/111135854 which I am posting a link to as I'm not buying anything atm.

Something like that would be perfect for us. Two double beds and all the stuff needed to get started.

Boo hiss, wish I had posted this post last week, unquote. Hope your friend enjoys her caravan...thanks for the hint about caravan storage places, I will get my parents to ask at their place.

Narked, No, DH has never lived in a caravan either. His parents own a beautiful four bedroom detached house, which they have recently rented out to a businessman with his family and the income allows them to live well and travel in their fifth wheel trailer....which cost more money to buy than our house !

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Morloth - are you my SIL? My MIL, god bless her, takes half the contents of her house with her when she goes caravanning

OP - your plan is madness. Putting aside my personal loathing for caravans, it will cost you more than you think. How will you fund repairs? Have you actually looked at pitch fees for sites within your 2 hour radius?

If you are planning to be back at work and earning in a couple of years, why not wait and then buy something better?

If you are only planning a couple of trips, then you could book 2-3 nights in a travel lodge when they have a £19 room deal and take your kids away then. Cheaper, no liability, and much less hassle.

[vezzie]

OP, this is a good 4 berth + living space tent you can put up yourself:

www.amazon.co.uk/Quechua-8091844-Tent-Base-Seconds/dp/B0046GA3CE/ref=sr_1_5?s=sports&ie=UTF8&qid=1347972834&sr=1-5&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Even I can put this up by myself, it takes hardly any time and you don't have to thread poles. You can put a picnic rug or chairs in the living space and play cards if it rains. Room for a travel cot (but ours stands pointless and empty while dd2 sleeps with us).

I know you aren't pro-tents and your husband says they won't be a holiday, but that negative mindset is the beauty of camping! (Bear with me.) I thought camping was insanity with children, until I tried it, and then I found it was a million times better to be knowingly roughing it (although not too much, I mean go somewhere with nice showers and get good air beds) than to be seething with exhaustion and despair about being technically on holiday, and paying through the nose for it, while not being on bloody holiday at all (because CHILDREN and MEALS and SNORING and RAIN and NAPPYBAG PACKING and HIGHCHAIR WRANGLING and AAAAAAAARGH).

I would far rather have a lovely cosy pitter-pattery tent than a heap of metal on the drive demanding money and insurance and maintenance and competence-requiring checks (image in my mind of serious-looking person prodding things and kicking things and a big question mark over my head about what they are looking for and what they will do if they find it) but the main thing is, FOLLOW YOUR DREAM and have lovely holidays with your dc in this beautiful, green, rainy country.

[saintlyjimjams]

£400 isn't enough to get anything safe imo

How about looking at a tourer that you can leave on a site somewhere. Would dh be persuaded by that? So he doesn't have to drive the thing?

[Jins]

That monza looks ok actually.

Don't get a tent OP. I was conned into getting a tent. I was told it was going to be great but it wasn't. It was hideous :( I was away for a fortnight and never felt clean - even after a shower.

The oldest, mouldiest caravan is a million times better than a tent.

[Narked]

It's just an odd response then. Could you borrow your IL's thing whilst they stay with friends for a few days? Let him see how much the DC enjoy it?

[Jins]

I don't think the fifth wheeler is a suitable thing to borrow to try out touring Narked.

Better to try the parents tourer.

typical fifth wheeler

[Fairylea]

I think there is a bigger issue here. .. going away on family holiddays without your Dh. I think he is being a bit of a killjoy if he won't entertain the idea of a caravan holiday if this is all you can afford at the moment. To me that is the bigger issue and you could end up resenting him for not joining in... this is what happened between me and my ex husband. He went on one caravan holiday with me and dd then aged 6 and moaned the entire time. It was the last time we ever went away and we divorced a year later. I hated the fact he would never put the enjoyment of a child over his own for just a few days. It drove me nuts. Not saying this is you but just putting it out there. Maybe you are so desperate to do this all alone because secretly you're a bit angry with him and want to show him you dont need him.

Personally I wouldn't buy a caravan. All kinds of hidden costs. And your car insurance will go up parked on the street. I'd use the money to fund two decent week's in a haven caravan. We just returned from a break and loved it. It cost 140 for 3 nights in a 3 bed superior van.

Oh and that's with my new Dh who loved every min and wants to go again !!!

[Jins]

I can see why the OP wants to buy a caravan rather than book a cheap holiday with the money though. If she's going to be selling everything she can it's nice to spend the money on something that could provide several holidays.

The DSs and I had a weekend on our drive once. It was fantastic fun, just like camping in the garden only warm and dry

[Hullygully]

Yay

me and Jins are on your side.

[aufaniae]

I think it's a great idea. I worry about you losing your mumsnetting laptop though!

I imagine there other ways you could make money?

What part of the country do you live in? (If in London for example I can send you a list of focus group companies - if you can arrange childcare for the odd occasion, you can earn £40 - £80 a time for just giving your opinion about stuff).

I have this book too which is good for ideas A bit on the side - 500 ways to boost your income

It's a fair few years old now so the contacts might not be up to date (but you can always google to find up to date equivalents) but still the ideas in it are good and might not be things you've though of. (Did you know you can make money from hand modelling for example?!)

You could get a second hand copy for £2.50 or I'd be happy yo dig out my copy and make a few suggestions, what do you think?

[Jins]

Yes I've come off the fence. Initially I was going down the 'you won't get anything for £400' route but then I remembered that the way I got my caravan was to threaten to buy one for £50 on ebay (which was hideous as you'd imagine)

Once DH realised that I was completely serious he went to look at a couple with me and decided they were pretty good. We sold the tent (Hallelujah!!!) and he matched my caravan fund with his motorbike fund. This year we've been away in it 6 times so far and I've got 3 more trips booked. Sometimes I go and sit it in on my own. Caravans are ace

[ddubsgirl]

my dad use to have caravans,i would love to get one buy dp would have to pay out alot to pass the towing test.

[quoteunquote]

we do a lot of camping as well as taking the caravans, we have tents from outwell montana 6,yurts, bell tents down to one man tents I use on cliff faces,I love tents, but when I'm doing a glamp, we always take a caravan as the field kitchen element always makes it all so much easier, I have a tiny funky min glen that totally rocks as a trailer, kitchen,table to feed children at,

where we go it's cheaper to take a caravan than a tent(£5 a night), as you do less damage to the grass,

this summer was a perfect example of when caravans come into their own, all the tent based people had to give up and go home due to wind and rain, we were out of the elements, which makes a real difference,

You can also because of the kitchen cook far more easily and more interesting food,

we will be using the caravans to go away on weekends all winter, it's so lovely sitting toasty in a caravan watching the sea, while the wind howls about, coming back from surfing or walking and been able to dry your stuff off is lovely,

I love camping, and will always prefer it, but I can chuck a few bits and bobs in the caravan, hitch my caravan, arrive at a field with a sea view, put the legs down and that it, no hassle, it takes about 20 mins to set up, a weekend away for under £20, and when you pack up to leave, shut the door, and go home , it takes a few minutes to pack up.

My husband and I if we get a night off, often pop down to a friends field for a night, the peace and quite is bliss, and no effort to do it.

[fluffyraggies]

God i've gone the other way now! I read the OP and posted this morning saying it sounded fun and DH needed chatting to (to win him over).

After reading all the advice about overheads for gas, tyres, pitch hire, and so on and so and so on i feel that if it's a case of scrimping and scraping just to buy the most basic bit - the caravan - then this isn't an 'affordable' idea. There's always extra expense with projects. And when it's involving something large that needs to be roadworthy and to house children in - it's fair to say it would be daft to expect the overheads to cost anything less than at least the same again as the initial outlay. There seems to many if's and but's with this to be honest OP. Sorry.

Most of the people posting saying do it it's great fun aren't saying they had to sell their phone and lap top just to buy the van in the first place and don't actually have a tow bar. Harsh, sorry, i know - but it's true.

I think perhaps if you could properly afford it, and it's safety checks, could tow it yourself, get it jacked up and serviced during storage without involving DH, and could afford to eat something other than tinned food while away, then your DH would be more enthusiastic. As it is at the very least he's probably inwardly groaning at getting roped in with working on something he has no desire to be involved with. He may well be quite worried about the safety aspect.

[hihohiho]

I loved my campervan too but it was a money pit and we had to sell it - insurance, tax, storage, MOT, servicing.

I miss it soooooo much and it was great fun - but somethings are just to expensive to keep going no matter how lovely.

[vezzie]

Fairylea, are you trying to say LTB? ;)

[Wallace]

Hullygully - don't forget me! I'm on The right side too!


When we can afford it we will buy our own big one too - 4 berth a bit small for 6 of us + dog.

If you can afford it get an awning too (they are a pain to put up, definitely not a one person job but maybe your dad could help when he tows it up?)