Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why?! why can't he cook a simple meal for once?

93 replies

PavlovtheCat · 17/09/2012 18:06

Why does he have to spend over a bloody hour cooking all the time?! He is cooking risotto, he does not have to fucking kill the chicken first. The kids are getting angsty, they are hungry. I am hungry. I need to take my meds and I can't til I have eaten. He has taken so long the local pharmacy is shut and I can't get more meds this evening.

He takes this long over everything he cooks. He can't do pasta and pesto, he has to fry up onions, add this and that, herbs and somesuch, poke about it with it.

When he makes a sandwich he does not do a cheese sandwich, he does a toasted sandwich with fancy pickles, sliced onions and tomatoes, herbs, with a side salad.

When he does breakfast he does not do toast. Or cereal. He does poached or boiled eggs, or banana pancakes.

FFS.

AIBU to just want to fucking eat at a reasonable hour?! just some nice simple food?

And before you tell me to do it myself, I can't. My back has gone and I am layed up. else I would.

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/09/2012 18:08

god that feels better. I think he is avoiding me. that has to be it. He picked me up at work, and I was interupting him cooking lunch. He spend the next 2 hours cooking and eating 'breakfast' with my friend, which had taken so long it was lunch. He has been in the kitchen for 1.5hours.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 17/09/2012 18:09

That sounds really annoying. Can't he start earlier if he's going to take forever?

squeakytoy · 17/09/2012 18:09

YABU. The poor bugger is cooking a meal, he is trying I assume to make something from scratch that you will all enjoy.

I would bloody love someone else in this house to be as interested in cooking as I am, and go to the trouble of making food that has had some effort put into it.

TheGoldenKnid · 17/09/2012 18:09

Ha! You seem to be married to my husband.

And the worst is, after all the fancy cooking (which normally turns out very nice!) our youngest usually won't eat it because at the moment he prefers food simple and not 'all mixed up'.

Tommy · 17/09/2012 18:10

he's a man - that's why

Grin
HecateHarshPants · 17/09/2012 18:10

Can he nip you in a slice of toast so you can take your pills?

Can the kids have a piece of fruit?

Have you asked him why he doesn't ever just knock something up? What does he say?

You are not being unreasonable to want to eat when you are hungry. He is not being unreasonable to want to cook what sounds like bloody delicious food. But he has to understand he doesn't have to make EVERY meal an extravaganza Grin it's ok to have beans on toast once in a while!

Can he start cooking earlier? Or do some prep in advance?

It is rather thoughtless to do even a good thing when you don't consider the people you are doing it for while you are doing it.

If that makes any sense Grin

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/09/2012 18:10

squeaky i know I am really. I am being really miserable about it. He is cooking it from scratch and it will be lovely. But sometimes, sometimes beans on toast is ok! Especially when the kids are killing each other because they are so hungry!

OP posts:
TheGoldenKnid · 17/09/2012 18:10

Of course, the squeaky one is quite right, we should appreciate all the effort. But ...

Grin
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/09/2012 18:14

hecate xposts about beans on toast.

I really am irritable. I asked for toast 'dinner will be ready soon' 45 mins ago. I do ask him why. He says 'i don't take that long, if you cooked for a change maybe you could eat when you want...' yada yada. He denies taking so long.

thegodlenknid DS is not going to eat even a mouthful of it. And he has made him his own 'special one'. And DH will be sad he does not like it. DS is two!

He could not start earlier today, as he had to pick DD up from afterschool club and me from Drs. So he is clearly pulling his weight, and I don't like moaning, but risotto from scratch with fancy stock is not necessary when he is run off his feet!

OP posts:
trixie123 · 17/09/2012 18:15

It doesn't sound like he is doing anything all that fiddly or posh and we frequently have poached eggs (which you can cook in the time it takes a boil a kettle and cook some toast). Yes, if you've come in late and you need to eat sooner then he should adjust the menu but otherwise I think you are being a bit U sorry.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/09/2012 18:15

oooooh! i am summoned. Dinner is ready. got to dash (well, i say dash, its going to take a while to get there!)

OP posts:
WelshMaenad · 17/09/2012 18:18

You are also married to my husband. He can fuck about with a cottage pie for three hours, use every pan in the kitchen, then get annoyed that i can't tell what specific type if ale ge used to make the gravy. "No it is NOT Tanglefoot, it's Golden Champion, it's much lighter and more floral than Tanglefoot!". For fucks SAKE.

It is because they're men. I feel your pain.

procrastinor · 17/09/2012 18:19

Sorry yabu. If he's like my DH his way of relaxing is cooking. Whilst I appreciate youre in pain it sounds like he's doing loads to support you. So you're going to have to lump it I'm afraid. Send whichever child is capable to grab you a banana chocolate

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 17/09/2012 18:20

I know I should say that YABU because you are having dinner cooked for you etc, etc... HOWEVER: my DH is the same with teensy tiny chores, too. Vacuuming takes 45 min -me: 15. Dishes take 45 - me: 15 - 20. Doing the laundy: no idea - DH has only ever done it when I was in hospital after having had DS. DS will be EIGHT in October.

Hope the risotto is worth it. I am also making risotto tonight. Grin

HecateHarshPants · 17/09/2012 18:20

time him then.

When he starts, say ok X, it is isn't it? Let's see when we eat.

I bet he's quicker if you do that Grin Just to prove you wrong.

G'wan. Do it. Grin

Anonymumous · 17/09/2012 18:21

Bless him, he sounds lovely! On the rare occasions that my DH has cooked the dinner, we ALWAYS get pizza and chips. Oh, except when he insists on doing a barbecue. Then the kids end up grazing on the rolls and salad stuff, so they're full up by the time he finally, proudly produces a couple of burnt sausages! Grin

Why don't you suggest to your DH that he should introduce something quick and easy as a starter course? Something that he can do really quickly as an appetiser to keep everyone happy while the main course is cooking. It might appeal more to his culinary fantasies than just being told to do something simple!

OwlLady · 17/09/2012 18:22

my husband does this as well and he also does the whole woe is me routine if I decide I am not going to cook and he has no ingredients and it will have to be cheese on toast and mwahahahahahaha

chipsandmushypeas · 17/09/2012 18:22

Yab an ungrateful git! I would love a partner who is into food and cooking. Envy

OwlLady · 17/09/2012 18:23

god I hate bbqs, he gets himself all stressed out Hmm and drinks onm an empty stomach and we usually have a row

but hey, this thread isnt about me Wink:o

squeakytoy · 17/09/2012 18:25

Anyone want to do a husband swap for a bit please... Grin

I have been ill for the last week and mine has had no choice but to be in charge of catering.

It took him half an hour to do me a bowl of heinz chicken soup with two slices of buttered bread.

CruCru · 17/09/2012 18:25

Does he also use EVERY pan in the kitchen? Which you have to wash up?

vodkaandcaviar · 17/09/2012 18:25

He probably doesn't possess the same sense of urgency that you do! I know it's annoying but can't you ask him to make something quick instead? Just explain that you and the kids are hungry, that it's nice that he takes such pride in his cooking but sometimes you need him to make something speedy.

clam · 17/09/2012 18:25

What will the kitchen look like when he's finished?

(dh is a bit of a cook and Oh. My. God.)

wannabedomesticgoddess · 17/09/2012 18:26

My DP has just said

"We are only trying to impress you all and you are being a shower of bitches!"

:o Can you tell my laughing at this thread has touched a nerve?

Tommy · 17/09/2012 18:30

my DH used to cook like this (before we were married) but he doesn't cook at all now......

not sure which is worse... Confused