Why?! why can't he cook a simple meal for once?

[PavlovtheCat]

Why does he have to spend over a bloody hour cooking all the time?! He is cooking risotto, he does not have to fucking kill the chicken first. The kids are getting angsty, they are hungry. I am hungry. I need to take my meds and I can't til I have eaten. He has taken so long the local pharmacy is shut and I can't get more meds this evening.

He takes this long over everything he cooks. He can't do pasta and pesto, he has to fry up onions, add this and that, herbs and somesuch, poke about it with it.

When he makes a sandwich he does not do a cheese sandwich, he does a toasted sandwich with fancy pickles, sliced onions and tomatoes, herbs, with a side salad.

When he does breakfast he does not do toast. Or cereal. He does poached or boiled eggs, or banana pancakes.

FFS.

AIBU to just want to fucking eat at a reasonable hour?! just some nice simple food?

And before you tell me to do it myself, I can't. My back has gone and I am layed up. else I would.

DH can be like this. He enjoys cooking and it's one of the ways he relaxes after a busy day at work. Most times I don't have a problem with him taking ages, he usually manages to get the food on the plates when he says it will be ready.....but just occasionally.....he takes fecking forever, with every ten mins him saying 'it'll be ready in about 5 mins'

The main culprit for this is curry. DH doesn't eat meat so always puts potato in a curry. 3 bloody years he's been cooking curry like this for us and every bloody time he 'forgets' that the potato will still be rock bloody hard when he 'thinks' it should be ready because he doesn't par-boil it first.

Now I'm pregnant I simply can't just keep waiting for my dinner to be ready, so either I cook or I just get myself something and then tell him to cook for himself.

Yes we're grateful that we have men that cook....but when you are expecting dinner on the table at 6 and it's 7.30 by the time it actually makes it there it is infuriating.

and yes....he also uses every pot/pan/utensil in the kitchen....

DH does this as well - everything has to be carefully cooked to a VERY exacting standard, and often he will do 1 thing at a time (eg fry onions, then wait til they're done before starting on the carrot).

I go for speed/efficiency & medium flavour, rather than high flavour at all costs!

But he does know that dinner needs to be served at about 6.30pm, & will start early accordingly. Some Saturdays even at 4pm.

Argh! My DH does this!

He always gets really upset if his food isn't perfect. The only really annoying thing is that he always underestimates how much time it takes to cook everything and how much stuff he needs from the shop. If we're lucky we end up eating at 8 or 9

It is because they're men.

Hah. Only on Mumsnet....

My god you have just described my DP too! I have trained him out of it a bit after much begging for "just something simple please darling".

. You have a bad back. He is cooking a meal. In 25 years my DH has never cooked a meal. If my legs have been nailed to the floor, he gets takeaway Chinese. I would kill for a man who would cook

I was just wondering today how hard it was to be the person cooked for. I see now that the answer is very hard ineed. I shall try and cut DH more slack.

Mmm... I think there is an element of "oh look, all your clothes are pink after I washed them. Damn it. I am terrible at washing, you will have to do it all now." to this kind of thing. Not necessarily purposeful.

I sometimes chuckle when I hear people talking about equal "sitting on butt time". In theory, this is how me and dh are but sometimes, I just feel fine that I get more because I can do the tidying up after dinner in 20 minutes or less and it takes him an hour. If he's in the kitchen he is not doing hold care or other tasks.

I also admit
That I sometimes make a thing about cooking because I would rather do that than the other chores that might be lying aroubd

Pavlov, I will gladly swap you for a DH who can ONLY cook pasta pesto. I dream of food thats been fussed with! Harumph.

bling that is spot on. he does it so he can listen to his audio books. I know because when he denies it, he has a dimple on his left cheek, which means not only is he lying, but he knows I know it.

thesurgeonsmate oh beleive me it is not hard being him he loves cooking. He gets the easy deal as he gets out of the homework, the cleaning up afterwards (normally), sorting washing out, hoovering etc...!

I would be happy to cook even with a bad back, but if I cannot stand for long, it would mean pasta and tomato sauce and cheese (fresh homemade sauce mind you) and he would rather cook himself!

international i AM your DH i cook pasta, or I do take away when it is my turn to cook. I have other skills and things I enjoy doing around the home. Cooking is not on my list.

tonight, he is working. I am cooking for me and the children we are having omelette and home made chips. 20 mins start to finish. And it will be enjoyed by all just as much as gourmet 1.5hrs cooked risotto

I have a deal for you. Send him round here to show DH how to boil potatos and peel carrots and answer all the other stupid questions he has and I will come and cook, quick simple meals for you that will be ready when I say they will be ready

My grandfather was a chef, there's a picture of him surrounded by his kitchen staff (about 20 women, in Woolworth's canteen kitchen) from 70 years ago.

My grandmother dreaded when he decided to cook at home because he was so used to his staff cleaning up after him, he left absolute chaos in the kitchen.

Your husband wouldn't let you have a piece of toast to take your medication?

HIBU.

I would love dh to be able to cook, before I moved in he lived on takeaways and his mums cooking.

He could burn water lol

thedoctrine well yes, I could have it, but I would have to get up and get it myself, fighting past him to the toaster, with him moaning that I am in his way, ruining his lovely dinner yarda yarda. I had taken 60mg codeine and was completely laid flat on my back in pain. I was going nowhere and fighting no-one! Hence my moaning on MN instead

"It is because they're men.

Hah. Only on Mumsnet...."

No, frequently in real life...

You know, I don't like this. There's lots of lovely home cooked dishes you can make in short amounts of time during the week. If you love cooking you could spend time at the weekends indulging your passion when everyone's got a bit more time, but to do it midweek when small children and an ill person need to eat it seems really off and self centred.

Could you at least suggest he makes double at the weekends so you have a couple of quick weekday meals that meet his requirements.

YANBU. not in the least. You shouldn't have to grateful all the sodding time while he ponces about with his creations. I like poncing about in the kitchen as much as anyone, but midweek is the time either for a casserole which cooks v v slowly all afternoon but takes about ten minutes actual hands on cooking or something quick like pasta which takes about ten minutes actual hands on cooking.

He's being a prat. Just because other men are bigger prays doesn't make it ok.

I am going to tell him he is poncing about! i love that expression!

I am sure he does not realise he takes so long. He gets carried away with his audio book

handbag he sometimes makes too much and I have it the next day for work, so that is useful. Unfortunately, due to the nature of his work, he often works at weekends so no time to make big batches of his lovely delights.

Yanbu. Family cooking requires speed, minimal pans/mess, crowd-pleasing. Otherwise it is self indulgent "me-time" masquerading as sharing the domestics - OK once in a while but not when things like bad backs (sorry about that btw) are going on.

Mine is the same - ditto hours until dinner is ready at the weekends by which time we are both pissed and the pots and pans everywhere, mess all over the kitchen, everything tittivated with and stuffed with something or other...but then, it is brilliant he can make something from the leftovers we have in the fridge and cupboard which will taste lovely.

It does annoy me though he makes such a song and dance about cooking, I do it 4/5 nights a week, usually with DD 'helping' (cutting up veg with a plastic knife, shes 2) and in between doing the washing, sorting lunches for two of us, washing up, and trying to get a sit down - all in the hour I am home earlier than him in the evening, max.

Cooking double batches during the week shouldn't be too difficult though? if you're chopping one onion, doing two is nearly as quick - or I have abag of chopped onions in the freezer - we often do this, or use slow cooker recipes (actually, you can do risotto in a slow cooker) so that we don't have to cook so much on weekdays. Could you have designated days for simple stuff - busy days at work, DH knows that we will have jacket spuds and leftovers/beans etc, as it cuts down on costs and means we can eat as close to when he gets in as possible. He knows we make more of an effort and he usually cooks on a Friday and Sat - with roast on Sunday more often than not.

Yy dozer